Nisha Moodley’s son might only be six months old, but already the US mum is instilling in him the concept of personal boundaries.
In a recent Instagram post, the San Franciscan mother of one shared that since little Raven was born, she and her partner have “always asked before we pick him up”.
“I always feel for his ‘yes’. Why? Because we want him to know that his body is his, and that others’ bodies are theirs, and no one gets to make choices about someone else’s body,” she wrote, adding “#lessonsinsovereignty #bornfree #endrapeculture”.
“Sidenote: If you ever want to hold someone else’s baby, my suggestion is to ask the parent, then ask the kid. It always touches my heart when someone takes a moment to connect with him and says ‘Can I hold you, dude?'”
The unconventional technique sparked a flood of questions from Moodley’s followers, including how she manages to ask Raven’s permission if he is highly emotional and upset?
“I do what I need to do as a mama, first and foremost,” Moodley explained.
“So if I need to pick him up, I do! Or I say ‘Oh, honey, I’m going to pick you up.’ It’s an imperfect practice, and for me, it’s all about showing him that his desires matter to me.”
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But as Moodley argued to Yahoo Beauty, she also believes it’s a vital lesson in consent and thus a small step toward undermining rape culture.
“I don’t ever want my son to be a sexual perpetrator or the victim of one, and the best thing I can do is honor his choices about his own body,” she told the outlet.
“I also want him to pay attention to his instincts, and forcing physical touch could interfere with that.”
What do you think about Nisha Moodley’s technique? Tell us in the comments below.
Top Comments
Good idea maybe taken a bit to the extreme. I try to make a point of permitting my toddler daughter to say 'no' to cuddles and touching she doesn't want, and have told family members they need to respect and understand that. Hopefully it translates when she is older to an understanding of the value of her personal boundaries. But also she's a toddler so sometimes, kid just needs to get shoved into the car.
I think it's sweet even if the baby doesn't understand as it is a good way to foster early communication with your baby. I would always talk to my baby about what I was doing and from a very early age he would lift his arms when I would say "up".
I try to be respectful and I've noticed he is very respectful with other toddlers too.