By JAMILA RIZVI
Welcome to Open Post.
For the new players, this is a weekly Mamamia tradition where we get together on Hump Day and talk about whatever we like.
There are no rules, no requirements, no pressure. You can ask for advice, share a story, lend some support or just have a scan of the comments and see what’s going on in other people’s lives.
Personally, I’ve had a pretty difficult couple of days. We lost my grandmother late last week; an event I haven’t yet felt up to writing about. Sometimes writing can be cathartic, yes, but sometimes the pain can all feel a bit too much. Writing is a really raw experience and requires you to engage and think about the subject matter in a level of depth that I’m not yet prepared for.
So for now, I’ll just say that my grandmother was a tremendous woman. A matriarch of novel-worthy proportions; the true head of a family that now sprawls out across the whole world. I’m still feeling very shaky and daunted about having to exist in a world that she is no longer a part of. And that’s what has been dominating my thoughts this week.
On a more pleasant note, I’ve been surrounded by the people I care most about and it’s been a delightful distraction from feeling sad. Who would have thought that a whole day on the couch watching The Newsroom with my boyfriend could be so good for the soul? Or that recounting high school poo and wee jokes with my late-twenties (but VERY young at heart) housemates would become an integral part of the mourning process. Or how much it meant having university friends and Mamamia colleagues offering to come to the funeral with me and lend their support.
So this week? I’ve felt very sad and very lucky all at the same time. An odd mixture to be sure.
Enough from me. What’s been happening in your world?
Top Comments
OMM at the moment is my four year old being left out of a birthday party at kindy. Now I want to say straight up that my reasons for being upset about this is not about me wanting to be friends with the birthday boy's mother or anything like that, I just didn't expect to be facing social exclusion already at Kindy. Now he isn't the only kid left out of this party but I don't know why? Maybe she asked her son who he mainly plays with? Which is weird because even a little girl who started kindy a few weeks ago is invited. Now I haven't told my son about this but I worry he'll hear about it after the party has happened. I get a lump in my throat when I think about all the things I have to protect him from in this world. There is nothing more cruel than being left out. This topic is probably old hat to some of the mums out there but he is my oldest child and I haven't encountered anything like this since my own days at school. Any tips to ease this pain?
In our house it is all about numbers. I ask my son who he wants to come. This then makes it easier to explain it to him. You can not invite everyone all the time. Don't feel like you need to protect him because this is a good life lesson. I know how it feels but I wouldn't take it personally. This is also the reason I send all invites via email and never take them to class.
Oh chick. Big hug. This is the first time of many. Its ok - it happens. It doesn't mean your cherub isn't likeable. Goodness me when my girls were 4 their friends changed from week to week! Trust me - these are your feelings which I understand, but your cherub probably wont even notice. Its ok for them not to be included into everything. It helps them learn that this is indeed how life is. My youngest is now 9, and with my 3 girls as they got older they may have noticed when they didn't get invited to a party, so if they did I just took them to the movies or to a play centre or we did something else that we deemed would be just as fun.
Don't take it to heart, chick. x
If he's not the only kid not invited, the parents probably said "pick the 10 (for example) kids you play with to invite" - we had to do that last year for my oldest, as to be h
If he's not the only kid not invited, the parents probably said "pick the 10 (for example) kids you play with to invite" - we had to do that last year for my oldest, as to be honest, we couldn't afford to invite the whole class of 23 kids - my son was also not invited to some other kids parties, and it was a good lesson for him in the fact that the world does not revolve around you! Hasn't hurt him, he accepted that some kids were going and some were not and moved on - no harm done!
OMM is ...
I am on a major health kick at the moment. I've lost a lot of weight over the past couple of years (think 50 kilos) and am within the healthy weight range for my height, but I'm still quite flabby so I've been doing boot camp sessions four times a week. I started with two, thinking I wouldn't stick to it, but then realised I LOOOOOVED it and have picked up extra classes. I'm eating really healthily (which I normally do these days - just having a few less treats) without starving myself, doing squats in the office/walking on days when I don't 'work out' and I feel fabulous.
Unfortunately, I think my partner, friends and family just don't get it... my partner and friends are supportive but I think they feel like I'm talking about it too much - I can't help it though, I'm just loving it so hard! It's a completely new experience for me and I'm excited to share how wonderful it makes me feel with everyone, without being an evangelist about it.
My family are actually shooting me down about the whole thing, saying it's too much, that it's all a crock of shit etc (this includes my eating habits - gluten free as I have an intolerance, and as much natural, unprocessed food as possible). My mum refuses to serve any kind of healthy food when I go to their place for a meal. I think this is because she is extremely overweight and unhealthy (no wonder I had so much weight to lose after living in that environment) and it makes her realise this and want to put me down to make herself feel better (?).
What can I do though? Stop talking about something that I love and that makes me feel amazing ... or talk about it and then be made to feel bad? Has anyone gone though something like this?
Do what makes you feel good. Haters gonna hate. Take your own healthy food to your mums. Its a shame she can't be supportive of your happiness and good health.
Well done, you. 50kgs is awesome!