Have you ever thought about which Sex and The City character you are most like? I’ve always felt more like Carrie. I’m definitely not as sexually confident as Samantha nor am I the kind of girl who would agree to marry a guy after two weeks like Charlotte. I’m a little bit needy like Carrie. I over think things too much, I fall for the wrong men – just like Carrie. But as I watch yet another re-run of my favourite girl sitcom I realise I’m not Carrie at all. Maybe I used to be but I’m not anymore.
I’m Miranda. And I’m a bit scared because one thing I learnt through watching the series was that she was scared of falling in love. She never let men get too close. She’s cynical, judgemental, stubborn – all the qualities I wish I could shake.
Living on my own I’ve become used to my own company. I like my towels folded a certain way. If there’s no soap in the bathroom I panic. I have a fear of running out of toilet paper so I stock up for the next millennium. Weird? Maybe. But this is all part of my quirky secret single behaviour. It’s part of my identity and living alone has perhaps made me a bit loopy. I’m reluctant to share my space with anyone. I’m a creature of habit and I like routine even if that does make me a total and utter bore. That’s me.
There’s a lot of perks to living alone like having “just a row” of Whittakers hazelnut chocolate but really eating the whole block. No witness. No crime. Getting tipsy alone is also quite amusing, a couple of glasses of sauvignon blanc with dinner can make you believe you can sing every note in tune. Great for your ego, not so great for your neighbours. While living on your own can make you at ease in your own company it can be hard.
I’ve lived on my own for over three years. It can be lonely and it can be isolating. I don’t like to admit that it can be rough but it’s the truth. I worry sometimes that I’m too set in my ways that I won’t know how to live with someone again. I joke about this often and use Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter as my idea of the “perfect couple” living next door to each other with adjoining doors. Together when they want to be and alone when they want to be. I understand the want for this sort of ‘separate-togetherness’ that some couples need in order to survive. But do separate bedrooms and separate houses really become separate lives? What if you love each other but don’t want to live together? Is that normal?
Sometimes when I walk through the door after a long day at work the last thing I want to do is make mindless chitchat with a roommate. But other days I could easily chew the ear off anybody who will listen to me. I often say to my closet friends that if any of them ever lived with me they’d realise I can only cook about five dishes – which are edible, I might add. So living on my own at least avoids the whiny “are we having chicken schnitzel AGAIN?!” Why yes, yes we are!
After living on my own for a long time I’ve realised I talk to myself a lot more than is considered sane. I have found myself sneezing and saying, “bless you”. I also talk a lot inside my head to try and sort my own shit out. And I lose my shit often but thank god Nina from Offspring is on our TV screens or I’d really think I was bonkers. She lives alone. I rest my case.
Do you live alone? Have you ever lived on your own? Do you believe it affects your relationships?
Top Comments
Awesome post Rose.
I lived by myself for a year between relationships. Apart from that, always with boyfriends. I loved the year I had by myself, I had just moved overseas and it was a luxury to have my own place. Although at times it got very hard. A lot of alone time when I mulled (despaired!) over leaving my ex, started dating (had always had a long term boyfriend), tried to get my head around one of my new best friends learning she had cancer. The low times were very low, but in a way I think that helped me sort through it all quicker. I was a lot more creative : started learning to play the guitar (actually having lessons), writing songs, drawing. As an aside, when my ex used to go to visit his family for a week or two I would get out my paints and easel about 5 days in and suddenly have to paint. It used to upset him that I wasn't like that when he was there. I don't do much creative stuff at all at home now I live with my current boyfriend (we have been living together almost 3 and a half years). This does worry me sometimes.
I am definitely someone who needs a lot of alone time to process my world. I love being home alone - which happens at least 3 nights a week. I also love it when my boyfriend goes away for a few days. I have brought up the possibility of getting 2 small apartments in the same block, one for each of us, but he is of the opinion that if we can't live together we shouldn't be together. My ex was different, he agreed with me that it would be awesome.
I think my life would change drastically if I were to be suddenly single. Well it is obvious, but I think I would become way more creative and do what I really want to do. I am currently working to make this possible within the relationship.
I must say I used to love having some salad, half a block of dark chocolate, and half a bottle of red wine for dinner every now and then. And Rose, I totally agree with the drinking at home when you live alone. There is nothing quite like it!
My boyfriend has never lived alone, and he is a real people person, always likes to be with people. I recently went away on holiday with my sister for 3 weeks. When he came back he asked how my big pot plant looked.
- Fine.
- Well I have been looking after her really well.
- Her?!
He then picks the plant up, takes 'her' out on to the balcony, and says, "There you are Sweetie".
Yikes!
Haha that bit about the pot plant made me laugh! At least he looked after 'her' most guys would forget I reckon!
You should definitely get back into your painting. I understand what you mean though - when you're single you have all the time in the world to explore your creative side, but you become a bit lazy when you're coupled up (especially at the beginning in that infatuation love bubble)
Dark chocolate, red wine sounds perfect - just skip the salad for some homemade fries... that's what I do some nights when I can't be bothered ;)
You know, I'm not sure it is a time thing with the creativity. I think it is more that I am just not in that head space when I am around other people. I'm a bit of a loner at heart... The creativity doesn't seem to come until I have had time to become quite introspective- that can take a few days at least. (And maybe til I can be sure I won't be interrupted, or having people look over what I am doing).
I'm like that.
Well written piece! Loved it.
I lived alone for almost 5 years. But when I decided that I wanted to live in the inner city I needed a flatmate. But i have decided that next time i move I will move into a one bedroom. I just can't stand leaving with someone. It is just so hard.
Sometimes I just need me time and the flatmate wants to know why you are talking/is there something wrong....
Oh and when i have a relationship i fear I am going to be just like that Pink song....
Thank u xx