Three weeks ago, l left my baby in the car.
It was Melbourne in December and Claire was 6 weeks old at the time.
Earlier, I had woken her from her nap so we could go and collect her older brother from childcare. She was still drowsy and as soon as I strapped her in she went straight back to sleep.
I drove ten minutes to my child care centre, parked the car and went inside to collect my son.
It wasn’t until I was collecting his bag that I realised something wasn’t quite right.
William’s educators had left some of his artwork for us to take home, so I was asking myself ‘how am I going to carry his bag, the artwork, the baby and hold his hand in the car park?’
That was when I realised I wasn’t carrying Claire.
This baby was left alone in a car for an hour and a half while his mum hit the Boxing Day sales
I haven’t sprinted in many years, but I ran that day.
Thankfully, the weather was mild, I had parked in the shade and it was only a minute or two she had been alone in the car.
Nevertheless, how could I have done such thing?
Claire had not made a noise since I lifted her out of her cot. I had the radio on in the car for the news and was ticking through my to do list in my mind as I was driving. For those few minutes, I switched to auto-pilot. The habits of the past two years kicked in and I forgot I had an infant with me.
The distractibility of early parenting – we’ve all been there.
We all know how lethal it is to leave children and animals in cars. Every summer we read tragic stories about babies dying in these horrific incidents. Our governments and health institutions go to great lengths to remind us of the dangers of hot cars.
Kyle Seitz drove his car 3 times, not noticing that his baby son was dead in the back.
Public figures use strong language, sending a message that leaving children in cars is an inexcusable act of neglect. “No exceptions, no excuses,” is how Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has characterised it.
Mamamia’s own Editor-in-Chief, Jamila Rizvi posted “get your act together, Australia” on her Facebook page after several parents left their children and pets in hot cars in recent weeks.
It is right for us, in the course of our public conversation, to condemn people who leave children and animals in cars deliberately and recklessly. It is also right for there to be strong penalties for people who do so.
But I’m horrified by just how easy it is to be so distracted by the minutia of life that, for just a few moments, one of the most precious things in our lives can slip from our minds.
So, as well as the condemnation and the strong language, I wish there was just a moment of gentleness in the conversation.
A gesture of empathy, a nod of understanding to the majority of parents who really doing their best to muddle through the messiness of life.
The silver lining to the guilt I continue to feel about that day, and the tears I cried at the mere thought of what might have happened is that I’m unlikely to forget Claire is in the car with me ever again.
What has been your greatest moment of horror or fear as a parent?
Top Comments
Hi,
When I drop my son to his nanny, during the short journey, I talk to him, telling him that I'm dropping him there and that he's going to play with his friends. That makes it clear in your mind that he's here with you. Same thing when I go shopping with him using my baby carrier, you can share a tender moment with him in your arms.
Caroline .
Things like this annoy me. I know all the perfect parents will be jumping up and down on me for this but seriously? I NEVER take my kids in to pay for fuel. Actually, I think I did once, when my first baby was a newborn and I was filling up in an unsavoury part of town (my own suburb lol) and there were a group of naughty looking teenagers hanging around the petrol station, so I took her in to pay. Thats the only time I've done it, every other time I leave them all in there. I now have five kids, including 2 yr old twins, and I can tell you there is no way in hell I will get them all out to pay for fuel. Not only that, I also run into the bakery for bread, the fruit shop for fruit or veggies (only a couple of necessities), the milk bar for milk... I always park right outside the shop and obviously wouldn't do it on a hot day. I leave windows down a bit if its like 20 degrees and take keys. I don't do it if its busy and I'll have to wait, but otherwise, I do this regularly. It literally takes me less than 5 mins. Anything I need from Coles I send my two eldest kids in (aged 10 & 12, but prob been doing this since they were 8 & 10). Shock horror, they are UNSUPERVISED so technically I'm breaking the law?! I see the need for laws regarding these things (to protect kids who are left in the car while mum/dad goes shopping or goes to the pokies/TAB), but honestly, I'm sick to death of being told how to parent my kids! I read a great quote the other day when a whole lot of people were carrying on about the irresponsible parents like me who leave kids in the car while we pay for fuel- "When commenting/acting upon a situation where kids are left in the car for a brief period of time, are you acting righteously, or self-righteously?" Saving a child from a hot car, or supervising a child who has been left for too long is behaving righteously. Getting on your high horse and having a shot at someone who ran in for 3 mins to buy a loaf of bread at the bakery is acting self-righteously. BIG difference!
Well said