real life

"I'm only coming to your wedding for the booze," said no one ever.

AMEN to this couple.

Amen to them for speaking the unspoken when it comes to wedding invites and RSVPs.

And amen to them for letting us all admit that yes, we’re just coming to your wedding for the booze.

Good, huh?

And just to add to the fact, we’d like to add some of our own.

Yes, I will be attending because:

– Your brother’s hot.

– It’s been three weeks since I started playing Candy Crush and I haven’t been out of the house since.

– I noticed the reception venue has a view.

– Free booze. We know they already wrote that but FREE BOOZE.

– No kids allowed, right?

– I’m crazy impressed that you bothered to send an invite via snail mail and not just over FB. The least I could do now is show up.

– Free booze.

No, I won’t be attending because:

– I’m not prepared to use my annual leave on you. The wedding is in Paris on a Tuesday and, well, I really wanted to use my four week’s leave to watch TV.

– I’m jealous.

– I’m in love with your fiancé.

– I don’t want to tell my mum that another one of my friends is getting married.

– You want me to be a bridesmaid and I can’t afford it. I’d rather spend my money on renovating the kitchen than spend it on those silver shoes I know you’ve already chosen.

– I made out with your cousin Steve after the last wedding and I’m worried he’ll lick my face if I see him again.

– I didn’t even know we were still friends until I got this invite. Actually, this is weird, I haven’t seen you since year 5. I’m going to unfriend you right now.

– I have to feed my cat that day.

Have you got any more to add?

Top Comments

Sarah 11 years ago

I needed that laugh...thanks!


Annon 11 years ago

I went to a dry wedding on four weddings. It was fine but reading between the lines the producers would of loved us to sneak some in. It was a religion thing and that needed to be respected IMHO. Love these ideas for RSVPs

Semantics 11 years ago

I totally respect a dry wedding for religious reasons, my preference would be for booze to be available if preferred and am happy to pay for it at the bar however if it's a deal breaker for the bridal party then I can respect that.

In fact, I don't expect a free bar at any wedding. Just a bar will do.

When I'm at a party I like to have a glass of wine. I can bring my own, I can buy it at a bar or I can drink the stuff the hosts have provided, whatever... but attending any party that you're required to be in attendance at for hours on end, with large numbers of people you don't know, listening to long speeches and watching traditions I don't necessarily relate to and ceremonies that are about other people's beliefs can get quite dull at the best of times, let alone without a glass of champagne for a toast and a glass of red with dinner.

I also suspect that a lot of people only have dry weddings because they're tight arses.