Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.
Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.
I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.
Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?
Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.
Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.
My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
Top Comments
I think this is beautiful and I totally get it. Thank you for sharing this beautiful testament to marriage and family. Someone told me before we got married that love is a choice not something you 'fall into'. That I could marry Brad Pitt and yet in 10 years time it wouldn't feel like 'Brad Pitt' anymore. For my marriage to last I need to keep choosing to love him, looking for the best in him. Life's not about me. Its about us.
The only surprising part is that they're still together after he told the entire Internet that he's just not that into her.
I don't see how loving someone so much that you want to devote your life to making them happy means you're "just not that into them". To desire to sacrifice your own needs and wants for someone else's is the most powerful love there is and means way more than "she gives me butterflies and makes me feel so special", IMHO.