health

BEC: I'm moving in with my husband's family. Ingenious or insanity?

 

By REBECCA SPARROW

So. I’m about to do something that is either really, really awesome or really, really stupid.

I’m about to move in with my sister-in-law.

Here, let me give you some thinking music (imagine I’m playing Morning Has Broken on my daughter’s toy xylophone) while you contemplate my plan.

Time’s up.  What do you reckon?  Magnificent or madness?

Here’s the thing.  I’ve been living in Adelaide for two years with no support network. And by ‘no support network’ what I mean is NO F*CKING SUPPORT NETWORK.  Nothing. Nada. Zip.  You with me?

The good news is that my tribe and I are about to move home to Brisbane.  Our plan is to share a rental house with my husband’s sister and her 7 year old daughter for 12 months. Just as a way to save a bit of money but more to provide some support to one another.  Support. Back-up.  You know, a village.

Seriously, the thought of just having another adult around and available to watch the kids so I can go grocery shopping alone is right now sexier to me than imagining George Clooney doing my washing up. And I know my sister-in-law feels the same.

If you don’t have a support network around you, I know you’ll know what I’m saying.  It’s tiring –  parenting and working and, well parenting alone.  No grandparents to babysit or watch the kids when you go to the hairdresser.  No aunties or uncles or cousins or babysitters you’ve known forever around to help out.

And if you’re a single parent or have a spouse who works long hours (like I do) … it’s doubly draining.

So I have to say the thought of living with my sister in law is pretty appealing.  Plus there’s the fact that she and I have a terrific relationship.  What’s she like?  Imagine the most awesome person you know and then times it by 100. That’s her. She’s easy going, great fun, not a slob and makes a mean Green Chicken Curry.

Plus when the kids are doing my head in, my ensuite has a bathtub.

So what do you think?

Am I doing the right thing?  And what tips or advice do you have for me on sharing a house with a family member?  Other than, you know, not to write my name on the margarine …

Top Comments

Rachel 10 years ago

Sooo is there an update? How did it go?


Soph 10 years ago

My best friend and her husband and 3 kids moved in with my family of 4 after their home was severely storm damaged (our houses are 4 doors apart). we have been friends for 15 years but after 4 months all living together the strain was showing even though I am lucky enough to have a house where we could squeeze 5 extra people in and each had their own room. Our friendship has survived and we are still very close but it was harder than we had thought. Even people you think you know well do things differently, have different thresholds for noise mess togetherness and react differently under stress. Just having extra people means different dynamics are at play.

With a sister in law old sibling rivalry or tensions may rise up.

Also think clearly on who will run the kitchen. With my friend I stood back and let her take control as her kids were fussy eaters. If you both try and control it will never work.