There’s a really interesting piece in today’s Australian where conservative columnist Janet Albrechtson blames feminism for not properly informing women about their fertility.
THE strategic silences of feminism are
having profound effects on society. For all the brilliant choices
ushered in for women – the freedom to forge ahead with careers, to stay
single, if that was their wish, not to be tied down by family and
babies, if that was their choice – feminism failed women by refusing to
inform them that their new-found choices came at a price.
By failing to remind women about their biology and their declining
fertility, feminism deliberately ignored the innate desire of most
women to have a child. The silence continues. It is there in the
classroom where, like previous generations of young girls, the present
generation is still not taught that fertility cannot be taken for
granted.
Fortunately, there are moves to fill in the silence about infertility.
If it happens, it may allow young women to make more fully informed
choices about work and babies, avoiding the sorrow that afflicted many
of their childless forerunners.
Unlike women in the 1950s and ‘60s, the liberated generation of women
that followed in the ‘70s and ‘80s had the world at their feet. Yet
feminism’s mantra of choice made little room for women who chose to
eschew careers for babies.
Indeed, if we are honest, feminism never had much time for babies.
Having babies meant leaving the workplace, opting out of the career
track, at least for a time. With its unwavering focus on encouraging
women to make great strides in the professions, making their presence
felt in the boardroom, the courtroom and parliament, the feminist
movement deliberately ignored motherhood as a legitimate choice for
women.
I’ve seen first-hand too many women in their thirties and forties who had no idea about how their fertility had decreased until it was too late. Is that feminism’s fault? Or is it the fault of celebrities who have “miracle’ babies in their forties and even fifites…..when actually they use donor-eggs? No matter how young your face or body looks, there’s no such thing as botox for your ovaries. There’s nothing you can do to stop them getting older.
I’m not suggesting it’s wrong to use donor eggs or that any woman should have to tell the world about her private fertility choices – choices are a key tenant of feminism. And every woman has the right to privacy.
But if we’re going to get our information about fertility from reading gossip magazines, there are going to be thousands of women who are bitterly disappointed when they discover it’s too late for them.
Sadly, I have so many friends dealing with this exact issue. They’ve been forced to undergo all manner of intrusive procedures like IVF (NOT the easy fallback option many women assume it’s going to be….IVF is expensive and difficult and invasive…) and some are just having to accept childlessness as a life sentence.
But ultimately, I think WE need to be the ones educating ourselves –
and yes, girls need to be taught in schools not just about how EASY
it is to get pregnant but about how HARD it is to get pregnant once
you’re past a certain age. In the end, it’s up to us.
I think it’s a cop-out to say “feminism didn’t tell me”. We have to educate ourselves, our daughters and each other about the true risks of waiting too long to have a baby……
Top Comments
I went to a single sex Catholic school, where chasing your dreams and achieving huge things was pushed from the get go. We spent a lot of time with career counselors, motivational speakers and university guides spread before us. Our sex ed program was brilliant, but mostly focused on how NOT to get pregnant. Now that I am becoming a teacher myself, I am determined to teach both angles.
Now that I'm in my mid-20s, I've started to realize that it had never been mentioned to us that having children often means a pause, or end, to the careers we were being preened for. I've never had a 10 year plan, but now I know that if I want to have children, I've really only got about 10 years before it could become very hard.
And on the flipside we need to respect and applaud women who choose not to have children instead of criticising and judging them. For whatever reason, whether they didnt find the right man, simply didnt have the urge or felt their career was so important to them and demanding that it wouldnt have been fair on a child.
Some people just arent cut out for being parents and we need to be respectful of their choice. Instead of having them bow to societies expectations and have kids when their heart just isnt in it.
We know a couple who did exactly that. They had two children in very quick succession. Niether of them had much time away from work after each birth. They have a fulltime live in nanny and a weekend nanny. They both travel A LOT for work and their kids honestly must hardly see them. I hate to stand in judegement but cant help but wonder why they had children. It makes me especially sad when I know other women who would give anything to have a baby and cant have one.