As Kate Middleton has shown, Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a very real and devastating thing. It’s a type of pregnancy sickness so severe that keeping up with normal day-to-day life becomes impossible.
It’s not your average nausea with the occasional bout of vomiting thrown in. It’s constant sickness. Not being able to keep anything down. Not being able to go out. Without medical help, it can be life-threatening.
When you hear someone has HG, you take it seriously. A woman recently posted to UK website Mumsnet about her colleague, who was 14 weeks pregnant and had so far taken off five weeks with HG, with another week of medical leave still to go.
Massive sympathy to her. But then the woman explained that she had been on Facebook and had seen some photos of her friend on holiday in Greece. The friend also happened to be friends with the colleague who was off work due to HG. That colleague was in most of the photos, “sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball”.
Pregnancy guru Rebecca Judd shares the honest piece of information she wishes she’d been told as a new mum. (Post continues after audio.)
“I’m gonna sound like a complete cow,” the woman wrote, “but I think she’s faking her sickness. She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too.”
She posed the question: “Should I tell/show our boss?”
The response from women who had suffered HG made it pretty clear that anyone with the condition wouldn’t be playing volleyball on a Greek beach.
“I had hyperemesis,” one woman remembered. “It was diagnosed when I ended up in hospital on a drip. I couldn’t move without vomiting. I have never felt so ill in my life – it was awful. I missed a friend’s wedding as there’s no way I could have gone.”
As for whether the woman should dob in her colleague, plenty of people said yes.
“Take screenshots and show the boss,” one wrote. “People doing things like this are a big part of the reason why sick pay is s–t and women’s pregnancy symptoms are doubted, in my opinion. It’s her own fault.”
It’s certainly true that in the past, women with HG have sometimes struggled to make people realise just how serious the condition is. It’s quite uncommon, affecting somewhere between one and three per cent of pregnant women. Women who suffer it in one pregnancy are highly likely to suffer it in a later pregnancy, and women whose sisters suffered it are also at a massively increased risk.
Women with HG lose weight and become dehydrated. Most need hospitalisation. There are cases of women vomiting so violently that their retinas have become detached, their eardrums have burst, their ribs have fractured or their fingernails have fallen off. Before the 1950s, it was the leading cause of death in pregnancy.
A survey of women with HG showed that one in seven had terminated at least one pregnancy due to the condition.
So... no joking matter.
But the question remains. Would you dob in a colleague if you thought she was faking HG?
Let us know in the comments below.
Top Comments
Women wouldn't need to lie if their needs were met; maybe she lied, maybe she didn't.
Jealously is UGLY.
Leave her alone.
This is yet another warning to those who think they know everything about a person's life from social media.
First, even if the pics were just posted, when were they taken? Lots of people like to re-live the good times or share memories...and the pics may not even be recent.
Also, as an HG survivor, social media is sometimes the ONLY way to have contact with the outside world. And no matter WHAT you see on someone's page doesn't give you the right to involve yourself. Have you actually spoken with your coworker (or posted a pm) about your concerns, or is there some type of jealousy or animosity that is leading you to inspect the private life of a co-worker.
SO....unless you are her personal medical provider, this is simply a situation that you cannot understand from a few posts or photos on social media. If you feel led to address your concerns with your boss, go ahead. However, if the claims you are making about her are untrue, it can certainly backfire. Unless it is a life or death situation, sometimes it is best to mind your own business and focus on YOUR life instead of causing problems for others. If she is faking this, it will backfire on HER, without your assistance.
It saddens me to see people post things like this. People assume that the minute or 2 that you spend with someone on social media tells the whole story. Maybe we should all learn to have compassion FIRST.