Hi there, and welcome to a world where you should be paying AUD$530 for a banana case for your mum’s Christmas present and another AUD$160 on some toothpaste for yourself instead of your impending car insurance bill.
You know I’m not trolling you nor being sarcastic because right about now you’ve realised GOOP have released their annual Christmas list and you’re no doubt lamenting the fact you keep wasting your income on a mortgage and not on these gifts for yourself.
In GOOP’s defence, this particular list is titled the “ridiculous but awesome”. But I find I’m spending more time than I care to admit deciphering what some of the items are and what kind of things they really do.
Here are my favourite four:
The banana case.
Because since when did bananas need homes? Have I been treating them terribly this whole time? Am I not supposed to just throw them in my bag and give them free-range to roll around in there alone?
Apparently not. And GOOP reckons I should be spending $530 on one.
Enter the Limoges Banana Box. It's vintage, and it's a porcelain hinged banana box. And, for some reason, they're currently sold out. (Huh?)
Maybe there's something I'm missing, or maybe bananas get cold, grumpy and awfully bruised without a case to sleep in.
A cat pendant.
Here's a pendant you can spend AUD$9,200 on. It's #CrazyCatLadyGoals. GOOP's words, not mine, and it's made by a lady called Irene Neuwirth.
This Menorah.
Don't have enough places to hold your candles? The you probably should be spending AUD$3,300 on a March Brass menorah.
Toothpaste. Duh.
This toothpaste will cost you about AUD$160 but it has the word Crystal in the description so I assume it has Crystals in it that will give your teeth that extra $155 shine.
Want more where this came from? You can check out best very best GOOP Christmas ideas here.
When inevitably your friends don't buy you Christmas presents of this calibre, don't respond like this:
Top Comments
Wow the clip at the end my miL need to watch it we bought her a vet expensive pashmina for going to live in the Middle East. It was recommended for travelers as evenings get cold and so do planes plus it doubles as a hair cover if need be. She opened it while my husband was out of the room then laughed about it with s friend when my husband came back she walked over to say what the hell do I need a scarf for in such a hot climate. Over 4 days of hunting the right alpaca/cashmere light weight shawl and she acted like we gave her a tape dispenser.
To be fair, a Menorah isn't just so you can have lots of candles, it's used as part of a religious celebration. But that banana case is something only someone with more money than sense would buy. Especially when you can buy plastic banana cases at lots of discount stores!
And one needs a banana case for what? Plastic, ivory or whatever?
I'm told they're handy in kids backpacks, to stop their bananas getting squished. Sometimes your nana won't fit in your regular lunch box!
Funny, my kids take bananas, apples etc. and it just goes in the lunch bag without further protection, and it is fine. But maybe because in their bags is only food, no books.
Thank you for the clarification, Rush.