I think we can all agree that if it weren’t for mums, Christmas simply would not…occur.
Mums are the driving force behind the festive season. Overwhelmingly, they do the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, the organising and the peacemaking. They’re writing the Christmas lists and double checking how to spell some strange distant cousin’s new baby’s name.
If there’s one thing Christmas definitely isn’t for mums – it’s relaxing.
But I think we can all agree that there are different types of Christmas mums. My mum, for example, does all the shopping in a mad hurry on the 24th, and one year I ended up with a blender (…why though?) and a sock. Just the one.
Here are the five types of Christmas mums.
1. The "I'VE BEEN PREPARING SINCE JUNE!" mum.
This type prides herself on being absurdly organised. Every time Christmas is brought up, a confident smirk appears across her face. Some people are good at exercise, others are fantastic writers, but this mum? She is bloody good at Christmas.
She is thrifty, and is on the look out for a good bargain all year long . She has a special spot in the back of her wardrobe where she hides all the gifts she's been accumulating for Christmas, and is unaware that whenever she's not in the house, her kids raid her bedroom.
She nails it every year. The only issue is that the Lego set her son said he was desperate for in June ain't so trendy by December.
Prepared is my middle name. Image: Talk Productions.
2. The "IT'S TWO PM ON THE 24TH HOW DID I LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN?" mum.
Also known as my own mother, this type has a semi-panic attack at the same time every year and wonders each and every time how she left it this late. It's not that this type of mum is necessarily 'bad' at buying presents, it's just that she only gives herself 35 minutes to buy 11 gifts.
This mum spends the week leading up to Christmas unable to sleep and covered in a thick layer of nervous sweat. She is prone to random outbursts of yelling.
A lot of people get given gift cards...a lot.
"This mum spends the week leading up to Christmas unable to sleep." Image: Miramax.
3. The over-buyer.
This mum has no... system.
Every time she goes to a shopping center in December she buys something. By Christmas Eve she has an absurd amount of stuff, from candles, to perfume, to pencil cases, to socks and undies, none of it tailored to anyone in particular.
She inevitably ends up with a bunch of things that never get gifted to anyone, and a 12-year-old boy will get given a cute Sportsgirl bracelet. Eh, it's the thought that counts.
"This mum has no...system." Image: Giphy.
4. The overzealous Christmas spirit mum.
"HOW EXCITING IS CHRISTMAS!?!"
This type of mum's passion for the festive season is infectious. She is all about baking the Christmas pudding, putting up a ridiculous Christmas tree in early November and walking around the neighbourhood to gaze at the beautiful Christmas lights - most of which make her gasp like "OOOoooo" "Aaahhhhh...".
She can be found trying out a new Gingerbread recipe at three am on Christmas morning. And when she wakes up a few hours later, she wears her special Christmas outfit, with really cute earrings adorned with pompoms.
Her children might be teenagers, but that doesn't mean she's stopped writing notes to Santa, and leaving out biscuits and milk. She pretends it's for them, but really it is very much for her...
"She can be found trying out a new Gingerbread recipe at 3am." Image: Fox 2000 Pictures.
5. The "Oh sh*t. I forgot to buy for the five-year-old" mum.
Every. Goddamn. Year. And she never forgets to buy for an adult who really couldn't care less about presents. It's always a child who hasn't slept for a week in anticipation.
She had a list. But she lost it. And was fairly sure she would remember everyone. But when everyone opens their presents, her five-year-old nephew has an odd look on his face. And that's when it hits her...
She was meant to buy for him and she completely forgot.
Not again. Image: Giphy.
The guilt plagues her for years to come and she offers every year to pay for the therapy little Timmy inevitably needs.
No matter the type, mums are responsible for the execution of Christmas each and every year.
Forget leaving biccies and milk out for Santa on Christmas Eve, this year we should start a tradition of leaving wine and cheese out for mums.
What type of Christmas mum are you?
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