Why does everyone assume mothers of married sons are out to get their daughters in law? I have one child - a son who's been married for over eight years and has two kids. I'd love to have a better relationship with my daughter in law but she's so wrapped up in her own mother, there's no room for me or my husband. It probably sounds awful but I feel left out and isolated and I wish every day I had a daughter. Literally, the only time we see them is when they need us to look after the kids. We've never interfered, we helped out with money in the early days because we were then still working but now their careers are established, we're now only needed as babysitters. It's funny - I never pictured my old age as being like this. But the old saying is so true: a son's a son till he takes a wife. A daughter's a daughter all of her life.
RockyAlex8 years ago
You are example no.1 people think this. You just mentioned you don't see your son and his kids very often, and the reason behind that you blamed on the wife, not your son. People wonder why MIL don't like their daughters is because the DL gets the blame for everything her or the son do.
Guest8 years ago
Totally true!!! Happens to me! I get blamed first! I don't need that. So bugger it, I have my own side of the family...I don't need that!!
How about you start working on your relationship with your son!! He can make decisions about having you guys in his family's life too!! She's not the gate keeper to your grandkids!! Stop blaming her!!
Mother-in-law ain't the enemy8 years ago
Obviously the two other responses to your comment, Joy, are the same kinds of daughter-in-laws as you have unfortunately ended up with. I hope and pray my sons don't choose the same kind i.e. all about me / my Mum / my family. I adore my mother but I am so mindful that my husband also has a mother, who might also like to have a relationship with her grandkids and the ability to share in our lives. I hope things get better for you.
Guest8 years ago
I totally agree!! The DIL always gets blamed. Whenever they aren't seeing the kids enough, it's the DIL's fault.
I think both sides need to understand that the son and wife have their own family now and that will always take priority over the extended family. In my personal experience, being a stay at home mum and having my partner work long hours, we hardly get quality time with the kids and as a family, so come the weekend, we want to hang out just us. Not every weekend, not all the time. But yeah, majority of the time that will be our priority.
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Why does everyone assume mothers of married sons are out to get their daughters in law? I have one child - a son who's been married for over eight years and has two kids. I'd love to have a better relationship with my daughter in law but she's so wrapped up in her own mother, there's no room for me or my husband. It probably sounds awful but I feel left out and isolated and I wish every day I had a daughter. Literally, the only time we see them is when they need us to look after the kids. We've never interfered, we helped out with money in the early days because we were then still working but now their careers are established, we're now only needed as babysitters. It's funny - I never pictured my old age as being like this. But the old saying is so true: a son's a son till he takes a wife. A daughter's a daughter all of her life.
You are example no.1 people think this. You just mentioned you don't see your son and his kids very often, and the reason behind that you blamed on the wife, not your son. People wonder why MIL don't like their daughters is because the DL gets the blame for everything her or the son do.
Totally true!!! Happens to me! I get blamed first! I don't need that. So bugger it, I have my own side of the family...I don't need that!!
How about you start working on your relationship with your son!! He can make decisions about having you guys in his family's life too!! She's not the gate keeper to your grandkids!! Stop blaming her!!
Obviously the two other responses to your comment, Joy, are the same kinds of daughter-in-laws as you have unfortunately ended up with. I hope and pray my sons don't choose the same kind i.e. all about me / my Mum / my family. I adore my mother but I am so mindful that my husband also has a mother, who might also like to have a relationship with her grandkids and the ability to share in our lives. I hope things get better for you.
I totally agree!! The DIL always gets blamed. Whenever they aren't seeing the kids enough, it's the DIL's fault.
I think both sides need to understand that the son and wife have their own family now and that will always take priority over the extended family. In my personal experience, being a stay at home mum and having my partner work long hours, we hardly get quality time with the kids and as a family, so come the weekend, we want to hang out just us. Not every weekend, not all the time. But yeah, majority of the time that will be our priority.