If they say ‘No, thank you’, then don’t make them tea.
This short video boils down the concept of consent for those who might still be struggling with it.
It suggests thinking of “initiating sex” as offering someone a cuppa.
If they want it, then that’s great, but if not, then no hard feelings.
“You say ‘Hey would like a cup of tea?’ and they go ‘Oh my god, fuck yes, I would fucking love a cup of tea, thank you!’, then you know know they want a cup of tea,” the video explains.
“And if they say ‘No, thank you.’, then don’t make them tea. At all. Just don’t make them tea. Don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea — they just don’t want tea!”
Sometimes it can be slightly more ambiguous. Someone might say they want tea and then change their mind or want tea on one occasion and not another, and that’s okay too.
Don’t force them to drink it.
“If you can understand how completely ludicrous it is to force someone to have tea when they don’t want tea and you’re able to understand when people don’t want tea , then how hard is it to understand when it comes to sex?”
Top Comments
When she invites you in, opens the box of tea, pulls out a teabag, puts it in her cup and flicks the jug on, under no circumstances can this be interpreted that she wants a cup of tea.
You're missing the point.
Is it 2015 already?
I don't think it's these scenarios which are necessarily the issue, for the most part these are pretty clear. Getting people to follow them is of course much more of a concern.
It's the grey areas where it is more of a problem. I don't think I've gotten reasonable answer to what happens if both people are drunk and they have sex. If one cries rape, what happens there?