“Oh, but you’d make a great mum!”
This is always the follow up to the declaration that I’m not having children.
I was in a long-term relationship. We had always spoken about having children and getting married. Then we turned 30 and became different people: I was loyal and loving. He was not.
It took a long time to heal and grow from the feelings of betrayal, and that’s when I made this decision. Well, I made a rule: If I wasn’t in a loving, committed relationship and pregnant by the age of 35, I wouldn’t be going down the motherhood route. I am at peace with my choice, and that’s what this is, my choice.
I am a firm believer that if you are good at something it doesn’t mean you should do it.
Let me explain. I know I would make a fantastic competitive eater, I never get full and can always eat. But does that mean I should eat my body weight in Bunnings hot dogs every Saturday?
Probably not.
Listen: Childless by choice – the last female taboo. Post continues below.
I have been successful at many things in my life, but they haven’t brought me overwhelming joy. This is how I feel about motherhood, for me. I am not a woman with a burning desire to have a mini-me running around. I am just too selfish, and I love my life.
Kids surround me. I’m blessed to be the fun aunt – I get to spoil them rotten, run around and yell and scream and play with them to give mum and dad a rest. I get to be the person their child confides in when they don’t feel comfortable being open and honest with them.
In turn, my friends and family know that I have their little bundle of joy’s best interest at heart because I love them like they are my own. I have watched them grow up and develop.
I also get to give them back and then go home to my child-free existence and watch movies without interruption.
I enjoy the fact that I can go to a new restaurant for dinner every night of the week and not have to worry about getting home in time for the bedtime routine.
I love that when my girlfriends have a child and husband-free weekend, I’m the first person they call.
You want Bloody Marys with breakfast followed by a mani/pedi? Easy.
Need a night on the couch with a face mask, pizza and a Real Housewives marathon? Girl, I got you.
I’m grateful for the freedom that my lifestyle presents me – I am only responsible for myself and that is already a full-time job.
So, yes, I know I’d make a great mum… but please respect my choice when I express it.
Feature Image: Getty.
Top Comments
I love the "you'll change your mind when you hit 30", "meet the right guy" or "get married". Then they is the "don't leave it too long or you'll run out of time" or the inevitable "who'll take care of you when you are older?".
Yet another "contentedly child-free" article which still feels the need to placate the reader by pointing out how children still play an instrumental part in the writer's life. How about finding someone who is quite happy NOT being the "fun aunty"?
I don't really think it's practically possible for a woman to openly state she doesn't want to have children without also saying she enjoys being with other people's children. You can't really hold this against such women. As Andrew Denton used to say 'Society is to blame'.
As one of those women, I'd be more than happy to say so. I have zero interest in other people's children, which is not really that different to parents who don't really care for kids apart from their own. It's time this child-centric view of women was updated.