As told to Ann DeGrey.

When Alex* and I broke up, I really fell into a very deep hole. I was so shocked, I really didn't see it coming. I thought everything was okay between us, so I was completely blindsided.

I'll admit that I really lost the plot for a while. I just couldn't stop crying and begging for him to take me back. We'd been together for five years and often spoke about our future, travelling and eventually tying the knot.

He told me he loved me every day. So, the shock was very real.

Watch: How to know if you are in a toxic dating situation. Post continues after video.

Then I found out he was sleeping with another woman in his gym. It was such a cliché that I almost laughed when I saw the texts as he hadn't even bothered to hide them properly. I remember feeling sick to my stomach as I went through his phone reading all their messages.

Some are just flirty, others downright filthy.

I was literally shaking as I confronted him that night as he got out of the shower. I just held up his phone and said, "Who the hell is Caroline*?" He didn't deny it, and he certainly didn't make any effort to try to fix anything. He just said, "I've been wanting to break up with you for weeks now, so now is the time."

I told him to leave, and that was that. My friends and family had to help me pick up the pieces. I was heartbroken, but I tried to keep my head up. I really threw myself into work and I tried to move forward. Breakups are almost always messy and people tend to choose sides.

That's what I told myself when some mutual friends started drifting away from me. A few of them stopped returning texts. One or two unfollowed me on social media. I figured it was awkward for them. Maybe they didn't know what to say. Maybe they didn't want to get involved. I didn't push, and I tried to be mature about it. But it really hurt, especially with a couple of friends I'd known long before Alex came along. It hurt that they didn't even bother to check on me and see how I was going.

Eventually, I rebuilt my life with a new job and a new relationship. But I always carried this awful pain about how some friends had dumped me without a word.

Then, ten years later, I bumped into Lidia*, a friend I was once close to. After the breakup with Alex, she went silent, so I assumed she'd chosen Alex's side and just didn't want to deal with the awkwardness of catching up with me.

So when I saw her at a mutual friend's birthday drinks, I almost turned my back on her. But she came straight up to me, and said, "I've actually wanted to talk to you for a long time."

We sat outside with our drinks, and after a few minutes of small talk, she looked very emotional.

"I'm sorry I disappeared on you. I was just upset with how you treated Alex."

I laughed because I really thought she was joking. "How I treated him?" I said. "Lidia, he cheated on me. I got dumped as soon as I found texts between him and his girlfriend."

And then came the look of sheer confusion and embarrassment.

She said Alex told things very differently and, for all these years, he'd been telling the story that I cheated on him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She explained that Alex had told people I'd had some kind of fling with a coworker, and he'd been "blindsided."

He'd apparently played the victim to perfection, telling anyone who'd listen that I was the one who tore things apart. That explained everything!

All the strange silences. The friendships that fizzled and the so-called friends who looked at me differently, as if I was the bad person in that relationship. I never imagined that he had rewritten the story entirely to blame me! I felt a strange mix of validation and grief. On one hand, I finally understood why so many people had disappeared. On the other, it reopened an old wound I thought had healed. I never got an apology from Alex, and I'll bet he's still telling that version of the story.

And honestly, I'm past needing him to admit anything. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship and I trust him, so that's all that matters, not the past.

But it just goes to show how easy it is for the truth to be buried under someone else's story.

And just because someone speaks with conviction doesn't mean they're honest. I know what really happened. And now, whenever I can, I'm going to make sure other people are starting to know it too.

*Names have been changed due to privacy.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but remained anonymous for privacy purposes.

Feature image: Getty. (Stock image for illustrative purposes).