It is a scientific fact that getting married makes women go insane. Insane. Often, this insanity manifests into aggressive behaviour towards the bridal party, or their mum. But the most dangerous aspect of it is entirely internal. Brides lie to themselves. All. The. Time. Here are some of the worst lies all brides tell themselves. 1. “My bridesmaids will wear these dresses again.” 2. “Cocktails in mason jars are so us.” 3. “I can lose enough weight to wear a dress that is two sizes smaller than I currently wear. Hell, I can lose enough weight to wear that dress without Spanx!” 4. “All of our guests will be happy to pay for flights to Fiji.” 5. “The difference between ivory and cream napkins warrants another three hour meeting with our planner at which my spouse must attend.” 6. “A marriage celebrated without peonies is not legally binding.” 7. “My one-year-old niece is definitely old enough to be our flower girl.” 8. “Her mum won’t mind walking her down the aisle and sitting with her the whole night.” 9. “Having a photo booth is both bohemian and unexpected.” 10. “The best man’s weird new girlfriend will understand why she didn’t get an invite.” 11. “I won’t have one of those weddings where the seating chart sparks a family feud.” 12. “I am part of the one per cent of women who look incredible in strapless dresses.” 13. “All of my friends who are getting married are being super competitive with me.” 14. “My wedding will be the best wedding of the year.”
15. “No other bride has ever posed in a field in front of a barn door before.” 16. “Everyone will think the little inside jokes during the vows are hilarious.” 17. “Every song on the night’s playlist must have a meaning to me and my spouse.” 18. “My guests will be fine with waiting at the reception venue for three hours before we arrive.” 19. “Every one of my guests will adhere exactly to the black tie dress code.” 20. “Everyone loved the fois gras pate of goose liver. Especially the one-year-old.” 21. “My guests will keep this bonbonniere forever.” 22. “I won’t get so drunk that I can’t have sex tonight.” What lies did you tell yourself at your wedding? What lies have your friends told?
Top Comments
Look, it's true not EVERY bride thinks these things. But, quite clearly, some do. I personally know of 2 brides who chose their bridesmaids on the basis of who fit the generic Barbie doll look, rather than who they actually wanted to support them through their day. Bridezilla brides do exist, sadly, and hopefully some of those will read this article, plus the large number of comments from non-bridezilla brides and take a chill pill.
I'm so glad my best friend's wedding included none of these lies - except the first one - I'll never wear that dress again because frankly it was too tight when I bought it.