I ask this question incessantly and inapppropriately to pretty much anyone I meet who has kids and is under 45. I'm fascinated – some may say obsessed – with the idea of when-do-you-stop and how-do-you-know?
I always wanted to have more than one. Always. I have one brother but I've always been envious of big families. One of my close friends is one of 5 and I went to her wedding a couple weeks ago and there was something just so….warm and fuzzy and connected and FUN about having so many brothers and sisters and so many kids. I like the whole clan aspect of it. So how do you know when to stop? I think when you have a child of each gender it can be harder to decide to go again. I know many women who have gone 'once more' for a girl or boy when they already have one (or two or even three) of the other.
Many women say they just KNOW when they're done. Like when you look around and wonder "are we all here yet?". But when if you KNOW you're NOT done but your partner is?
Are you done yet?
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My partner and I agree that we would like four kids, but as we are yet to have one I've told him to be prepared that I might change my mind.
But I feel like two is not enough and I couldn't have three. In my experience there is such a thing as "middle child syndrome"... every middle child (from a family with three kids) that I have known has had issues and has been very difficult! Has anyone else found this?
Someone told me I was crazy to want four, she said "Why would you want four births and four sets of stretch marks?!". I'm not sure why but I think four would be a good number (and two boys and two girls would be perfect!). I'm hoping to have twins anyway, they run in both our families!
Do you think you're done Mia? Are your worried about "middle child syndrome"?
Thanks Cath, I feel a little less heavy-hearted after your comments...we'll see what happens, but I hope to move forward without fear.
Your comments about 'worrying' are just spot on! It doesn't ever stop. I recently asked my Mum, who just turned 78, what her one piece of advice would be to me....she said, "I have spent too much of my life anxiously worrying about things that HAVEN'T happened! Re-channel your energy into things you CAN control!" Thanks Mum, I'll do my best : o)