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“I literally couldn’t stand my appearance." The role that led Amanda Bynes to quit acting.

It’s been eight years since she announced her shock retirement from acting.

And now, after years of shunning the public eye, Amanda Bynes is opening up about the events that led to her dramatic downward spiral.

In a rare interview with Paper Magazine, Bynes, now a student at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles, has spoken about her plans to return to acting, her struggles with drug addiction and life in the public eye.

After skyrocketing to fame with her own Nickelodeon children’s comedy program The Amanda Show in 1999, Bynes soon went on to star in films.

But although many remember Bynes for her role in the 2006 film She’s The Man alongside Channing Tatum, the 32-year-old doesn’t look back on the film fondly.

Instead, seeing herself portrayed as a man sent her into a “deep depression”.

“When the movie came out and I saw it, I went into a deep depression for 4-6 months because I didn’t like how I looked when I was a boy,” Bynes told Paper Magazine.

“I’ve never told anyone that,” she added.

“It just really put me into a funk.”

Although Bynes had a better experience with the film Hairspray, her role in Easy A in 2010 ultimately convinced her to unexpectedly retire from acting at just 24 years old.

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“I literally couldn’t stand my appearance in that movie and I didn’t like my performance,” Bynes told the publication.

“I was absolutely convinced I needed to stop acting after seeing it,” she continued.

“I was high on marijuana when I saw that but for some reason it really started to affect me… I was convinced that I should never be on camera again and I officially retired on Twitter, which was, you know, also stupid.”

Being an actress isn’t as fun as it may seem,” the then 24-year-old tweeted after Easy A premiered. “If I don’t love something any more I stop doing it… I know 24 is a young age to retire, but you heard it here first – I’ve retired.”

Shortly after announcing her retirement, Bynes’ public downfall began.

The year of 2012 for the actress was defined by a series of arrests – drink driving, two hit-and-runs and driving on a suspended licence.

And in now-deleted tweets, Bynes spoke obsessively of sex, plastic surgery and even racist remarks about Rihanna.

Speaking to Paper Magazine about her infamous tweets, Bynes admitted that she feels ashamed about what she said.

“I was just stuck at home, getting high, watching TV and tweeting,” Bynes said.

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“I’m really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said. I can’t turn back time but if I could, I would. And I’m so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me.”

Bynes also opened up to the publication about her experience with drug abuse.

Although Bynes was never a big drinker, she began smoking marijuana at 16 years old.

 

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Amanda, please! #breaktheinternet

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“Later on it progressed to doing molly and ecstasy,” Bynes admitted.

She also confessed in the interview to abusing Adderall, a prescription drug commonly used to treat ADHD.

Now, Bynes is almost four years sober.

Next year, the former actress plans to embark on a Bachelor’s degree in the hopes of designing her own clothing line in the future.

The 32-year-old also plans to re-enter the acting business.

“I have no fear of the future,” Bynes said.

“I’ve been through the worst and came out the other end and survived it so I just feel like it’s only up from here.”

In 2017, Amanda Bynes gave her first interview in four years.

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