Don’t worry, the irony of this post being published on a Saturday morning is not lost on me.
Because if you’re in the deep depths of looking for a new place to live, you have no spare time to idly peruse your favourite websites on a Saturday morning.
Your precious spare minutes are being used to swipe potential properties on Domain and Real Estate Apps with the fervour of an excessively superficial Tinder user.
For anyone going through this special kind of hell (in a booming property market), read on for the 9 emotional stages of house hunting.
1. Anticipation.
It’s the lead-up to Saturday, and you can feel it; this week is going to be it, you’re going to find the ONE.
2. Amped.
You’re two coffees in, you’ve been able to find the first open home without getting completely lost. You’re basically #winning at this point.
3. Duped.
On closer inspection, there seems to be a GIANT communications tower in the backyard that has been Photoshopped out of the ad.
4. Euphoria.
Turns out the next place on the list isn’t a total dump. You’ve already started to mentally plan where you are going to put the couch, bed, dining table.
5. Jealousy.
Oddly, it seems that you’re not the only one who has turned out to see this house. There are about 70 other people also mentally moving in. And you want them out of your dream house, stat.
6. Disbelief.
You ask the real estate agent how much it is for and find out it’s out of your price range.
By about $600,000.
7. Anger.
How can houses/rents actually be that expensive? Is it a joke? Are there really people out there who can subsidise mortgages/rents that HUGE?
8. Extreme hunger.
After back-to-back openings, you’ve developed some real hunger. In a suburb you’re not familiar with, the best solution you can come up with, in your fragile and irrational mental state, is to get pizza delivered to your car. If only you knew where exactly you were.
So you settle for a bag of chips from the servo.
9. Next level despair.
You immediately want to do this:
Followed by this:
Repeat stages 1-9 ad nauseum, until you find the one.
Top Comments
I go to lots of open houses, both for rentals and to buy. Why, when I own a house that I'm perfectly happy with?
Because I'm the inconvenient, practical friend who points out faults in a place (handy for haggling points -- and avoiding traps). The local real estate agents know me, and dislike me.
Tape measure, powerpoint safety tester, and a good eye for detail will save you a lot of heartache in the long run.
We are looking for a block/house at the moment. Last year we were all set to knock our house down and rebuild my dream house. We moved in with Mum and Dad (thankfully they have a big house!) and about 2 weeks after that I got a letter from the council detailing the 14 units going on the two blocks next door to us, of particular interest were the two storey ones going right on our fenceline. So after a week of crying we did what any normal person would do and sold our block to the developer. So now we are looking for a big block that is not an hour away from the city or $200,000 more than we have to spend. We are even looking at houses now, but it is hard to find what we want without having to renovate before moving in. I have, however picked up a new lingo:
'create your own Grand Design home' - this block has granite rocks, giant trees and is on a 60 degree angle, you will need to be part mountain goat.
'built for their young family, now needing to downsize' - get ready to renovate, because it is 1975 in there!
'finish renovating and reap the rewards' - it's been painted and has new carpet but still needs a new kitchen, bathroom and landscaping. $$$$
'this block will impress' - it will impress you that they failed to mention it was triangular, on a main road and next to a petrol station.
'ecclectic hills home' - crazy cat lady lived here in her warren/house, it is painted with a rainbow palette and she allowed possums and birds to nest in the roof.
'30 mins from Perth' - 45 minutes.
'exciting village development' - we are cramming as many people as we can onto 300m2 blocks.
'rare earth' - there is a reason this block hasn't been built on, usually becasue it is inaccessible unless you have a spare $150,00 for site works.
So fingers crossed for us that the block we saw this Saturday is The One!