Welcome to the White Diet.
It’s the food revolution that’s sweeping the globe, as more and more toddlers embrace the fussy-eating philosophy that has inexplicably sustained human life for thousands of years.
From baby cavemen to modern toddlers, this unhealthy form of eating has never been more popular.
If you haven’t already heard about the White Food Diet, here is everything you need to know.
The White Food diet is an ancient set of dietary recommendations for young homosapiens. Tiny humans have thrived for millennia by wilfully restricting their diet to a small selection of nutrient-deficient “white” foods, whilst strenuously avoiding “coloured” food at all costs.
White foods are low in nutrition and high in salt, sugar, fat and refined carbohydrates. The White diet is not about healthy living or weight loss: it’s about eating for baseline survival.
There is little scientific data to support the evolutionary benefits of restricting nutritional intake at times of peak development, but the results speak for themselves. Millions of irate toddlers can’t be wrong.
What will my toddler eat on the White Food diet?
The list of approved foods for the White diet is short and strictly policed.
Key components of the white-food diet include: plain pasta, noodles, rice crackers, hot chips, chicken nuggets, bread, yoghurt, rice and sugar.
Whilst some of these items don’t look white, there is good reason for that. Deep frying is the preferred method of preparation for the white-food diet. Despite giving food a distinctive golden glow the base ingredients are still considered “white” for the purposes of this dietary regime.
Top Comments
If getting kids to eat a healthy lovingly prepared meal was as simple as you say, Monster, you haven't lived a day in the life of a parent of a fussy eater, or the parent of a child who apparently (as you find out along the way) has sensitivities to certain textures for whatever reason. Of course we wouldn't even be discussing this if it were that easy. Yes we could leave them sitting at the table all night till the lights go out every night but from experience, I've found that's neither pleasant, educational or even successful for anyone involved.
I knew it! Fairy bread is back on the menu .. umm, I think.