by ZOE FOSTER
Sometimes, you will just look like shit. It’s inevitable. Sometimes you will have earned it with four glasses of Clare Valley’s finest, sometimes you’ve flown to four states in three days, sometimes your baby will cry on hourly intervals, and sometimes your neighbours host parties even though you live in apartments with walls thinner than the smile you are forced to give them in the foyer the next day.
The eyes and the skin will suffer – and show – the most. The former will be glazed and red, the latter dry and unhappy and you will appear to have aged 15 years overnight. Cute!
I thought I would offer some quick and new ways to pep those guys up, even though despite ALL my best sorcery, sometimes by 5pm I look like shit again and the only solution is a stealthy 40 minutes on the lounge.
I know this because after attending the beauty industry’s Dream Ball on Friday night, (which is put on by the magnificent Look Good… Feel Better gang and hosted by the patron thereof, Kerry-Anne Kennerley, who was at her most dazzlingly glamorous, energetic, mischievous best) I woke up looking and feeling a leeeeeetle bit scratchy. And with a dress-up-look-nice birthday lunch advancing at a terrifying pace, I needed to, uh, not.
NOTE: This looks time intensive, (I timed it at just over 17 minutes… 7 if you skip the mask) but you will only get out what you put in, which is why even though you FEEL like a slap of tinted moisturiser and lip gloss will do the trick, it won’t, and it’s worth putting in a bit more effort so that at least even if you feel like hell, you don’t look it too.
Here’s what to do:
- Cleanse face – 30 seconds
- Remove all of last night’s eye makeup again, because more will have inevitably appeared as you slept – 30 seconds
- Exfoliate face so your skin care will be able to sink in and work its wizardry – 60 seconds
- Apply a mask that will add glow/radiance/moisture, (Don’t roll your eyes. It’s worth it and you can do your hair or eat or get dressed as it sits there) which you will need so that your makeup does not continuously sink into your thirsty skin. I used the new Sodashi brightening mask, which smelled tremendous and after 10 minutes gave me a believable plumpness. I also love a cloth mask in these instances. (The Skin Vitals ones are Priceline are cheap and good.) – 10 minutes
- Apply daily moisturiser with SPF and eye cream – 30 seconds
- Apply primer – this is your insurance against your makeup disappearing so for the love of lemmings, do not skip this step – 15 seconds
- Apply foundation.You need a bit of extra glow today, a bit more radiance, so depending on your skin type apply either:
-A mix of foundation and tinted moisturiser
- A mix of foundation and facial oil (I use Goe oil)
- A mix of foundation and nourishing skin cream
- A mix of foundation and liquid illuminator (Like Revlon Age Defying Spa Face Illuminator) – 120 seconds
- Apply undereye concealer to conceal giveaways of exhaustion and brighten the eye area. I MUST tell you about the new Napoleon Perdis ‘The One’ here, which I used for the first time Saturday and was blown away by. There is only one shade, a creamy peach, which makes it corrective as well as concealing, and it immediately counters dark circles (and redness and pigmentation on other areas of the face). You just dab it in with your middle finger under the eye and up around the nose and onto the eyelid and the whole area is instantly bright. I didn’t even follow with my normal concealer, such was its power and opacity. VERY good, Mr Perdis, very good indeed – 60 seconds
- Waterline the lower lashline with a white or flesh-toned pencil which will make the whites of your eyes whiter and brighter. (I did a video on this, see it here.) I like the Gorgeous cosmetics one, or the MAC Chromographic concealer pencil – 10 seconds
- Curl lashes and apply mascara. – 20 seconds
- Fill in your brows if you can be assed, and I recommend you do be assed, as it will frame your face and make your eyes look stronger/less watery and sleepy – 60 seconds
- Use fingers to apply some crème blush or bronzer – stay away from powders where possible. If you have oily or congested skin, go for a stain like Becca’s Beach Tint or Benefit’s Posietint, or a mineral powder so you still get some glow even though it’s powder – 10 seconds
- Apply a BRIGHT lipgloss. Bright to distract from your eyes and wake up your face, and a gloss to create the appearance of youth and juiciness. Face of Australia Massage Therapy gloss in Miami is a good one for Days Like This, and being a blue-based pink will make your teeth look whiter as a super extra bonus – 5 seconds
- Have a Berocca, two Panadol, some banana and honey on toast and GO.
Zoe is an author, columnist and porridge fan. Her books include the beauty bible Amazing Face, dating and relationship guide Textbook Romance, and three novels, Air Kisses, Playing The Field and The Younger Man. Find more info on her here, or supervise on her daily procrastination here and here.
Please understand that Zoë cannot respond to ALL your questions – but never fear, there are readers that are bound to know the answers, so don’t be afraid to ask.