BY REBECCA SPARROW.
Santa and I had a falling out when I was about four. Not that I want to sound bitter. Okay, I’m a bit bitter. And it was all because of Baby Alive. She was the Tickle Me Elmo of the 70s. She ate! She wee’d! She pooed! She was a triple threat and every little girl in the 70s wanted one. (Yes they did. I have spoken to every little girl who was alive in the 70s and they all agreed they wanted one. So shut up).
So from October to December I prayed to Santa every night for him to pleeeeeease bring me a Baby Alive on Christmas Eve. (In hindsight, it’s entirely possible I thought Santa and God were interchangeable … ). But I digress, Christmas came and “Santa” bought me a plastic doll with red curly hair that looked oh, not unlike Ronald McDonald. (You picturing this? Ronald McDonald’s head on a baby doll’s body.)
A few months later for my birthday I finally received my very own Baby Alive. Naturally, I was bored with her within weeks. Welcome to childhood.
But while I may have received a Baby Alive, there were a few other 70s toys I desperately wanted and never got. Like ….
A Barbie Campervan: Let’s be honest, Barbie doesn’t camp. You know that and I know that. But still it’s good to have a campervan just in case you decide your Dream House and your townhouse aren’t comfortable enough and you’d rather sleep in a bed where your face is 2 cm from the ceiling. And use a portaloo every morning (actually, Barbie doesn’t have a va-jayjay, so she can turn the portaloo into a walk-in-wardrobe). OR Barbie could turn the Campervan into a crystal meth cookhouse like they do on Breaking Bad. So. Many. Options.
A Family Treehouse: It’s a house in a tree with little people living it it. A bit like that guy living in that tree in Maleny. Okay, not really.
A Viewfinder: This was both cool and stupid. It was like being trapped in your very own slide night. Gimme.
Mousetrap: I don’t remember much about this kids game but clearly it had a mouse. And a trap. In hindsight, it’s not sounding that appealing but I’m sure the eight-year-old me totally deserved it. That’s the year Santa gave me a Slinky instead. Bastard.
So over to you, what childhood toy did you always want? And if you eventually got it, did it live up to expectations?