Ben Fordham
In 24 hours from now I’m getting a “Brazilian” and Angelina Jolie is to blame. That’s one sentence I never pictured myself saying.
My crisis of the crotch started innocently enough.. at work on Tuesday morning on the set of the Today Show. We’d been discussing Angelina’s appearance at the Oscars - where her rogue right leg took home the trophy for Most Bizarre Performance at an Awards Ceremony.
My workmate Karl Stefanovic doesn’t like to be outdone. He proudly pulled up his trouser leg to show the world his own hairy piece of man meat. Angie, eat your heart out.
Watching at home was a little girl from Queensland, Amy Seiler, who immediately emailed the Today Show inbox and hit Karl close to where it hurts… “Your leg is nearly as hairy as mine but I’m 11 and a girl”
Ba ha ha.
Karl's right leg
Amy explained she’s taking part in the World’s Greatest Shave to raise money for leukemia research and she’s planning to shave her head. If she raises more than $3,000 her mum will let her shave her legs !
Next came an email from Mrs Lee Pattinson – a school Librarian from Neerim South Secondary College in Victoria – who dared Karl to follow the lead of her Assistant Principal and wax his legs for charity. The trap was set.
Ba ha ha ha.
After Karl agreed to a hot date with a bucket of wax, live on national television, I thought my work was done. I was sorely mistaken.
That afternoon, a bloke by the name of Stephen Cenatiempo called into my radio show on 2GB. Stephen is also a radio host so he knows how to fudge his way past the call screener. Without warning, he challenged me to do my bit for the charity too… by getting a “Brazilian”.
Not funny.
I’ve never been to Brazil and had not planned on “going there” unless it involved an airline ticket and a week or two in Rio De Janeiro.
After a brief period of fluffing and bluffing, I knew there was no way out. The boomerang I threw that morning had returned a few hours later and hit me somewhere between my stomach and my knees.
I fly to Brazil tomorrow morning at 10:30am. Any travel tips would be greatly appreciated.
You can sponsor Ben here and sponsor Amy here
Ben Fordham is sports presenter on the Today Show and drive presenter on 2GB.
Comments
56 Comments so far
you know the little girl Amy Seiler? she goes to my school, im one of her friends and they read out that letter wrong. she was saying shes shaving her head not challenging them! i was there when she shaved off all her hair
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The first and last time I had a brazillian I laughed hysterically everytime the wax was ripped off! If you don’t laugh, you cry! However, painkillers, really?
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well ben, my only advice is that the “crack” part doesn’t hurt at all (from my experience anyway). good luck!!!!
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There are some great “pre” tips here, but I’ll add some “post” ones:
Wear boxers and nothing tight to minimise ingrown hairs
When the hair grows back in, use curash baby powder to cut down the chafing.
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St KIlda footballer Nick Riewoldt might have some helpful tips
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Ben you may or may not need to trim beforehand… depends on the state of your bush
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Looking forward to a post tomorrow afternoon to report on the outcome – best of luck Ben….
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Ahh Benny, what have you done… Just lie back and think of England as they say… Your man garden will never be the same.
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Dear Ben, I heard that you’re cutting the grass in an attempt to make the tree look bigger!?
Good luck tomorrow, well done for supporting a great cause.
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Throw in a pap smear and I might be impressed.
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Hahaha, at least let him have a gender appropriate manual prostate exam.
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Am a male. Been getting a full Brazilian for a few years now. From the very first session, I have never experienced any pain or discomfort. Have never needed pain killers before or after. The girl who waxes me is very good. Have recommended her to others. Both my girlfriend like the look & feel. Don’t be scared guys…it ain’t that bad.
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I don’t mean to condone the abuse of pain killers… but I take 2 panadols and 2 neurofens… It does help.
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1. Don’t go the week before your period
2. Trim the area to the hair is about 1 cm long
3. Take two nurofen 30 minutes before
4. When it’s time for the deed remember to breathe in and then exhale as they rip
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I think I am a bit in love with Ben Fordham. Have been ever since he used to shove his mic in the bad guys’ faces on A Current Affair!!!
Still laugh when I think of the footage of Fordo and Karl dancing on the lit up dance floor at the Logies. Too funny.
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Ahh Fordo. I love you.
Anyway, on topic, I’m about to have my 4th baby, so regarding the pain of the Brazilian I say toughen up buttercup!
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Thanks for the mention Ben. I would rather my hair shaved than a “WAX”
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I love you Ben. You and Karl always get my day off to a great start.
I will happily put my hand up to verify that you actually go thru with your trip to Brazil.
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Trim the area, the shorter the hair the less pain! And yes…Some panadol wouldnt hurt. You’ll be fine!
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My boyfriend and 3 of his mates somehow all got roped into getting the manzillian done.
the bf was more worried about the waxer “seeing what he was packing” and jumping his bones……….modest I know. Somehow she managed to restrain herself.
A mate was more worried about farting in her face……..
yes I hang out with a mature group of guys lol
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no to the numbing cream! if you’re gonna do it, ya gotta do it properly….”man up”… when was the last time u heard of women regularly going the numbing cream for a wax? surely if we can do it, so can ben….
;D
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Ben, two words for you:
General Anaesthetic.
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we sponsored Amy – she’s braver than either ben or Karl!
And we remember the battle to get our Mums to let us shave our legs.
GO AMY!
susie – http://www.funkyfotobooths.com
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Excuse my ignorance but does a male Brazilian include a crack and sac wax?
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I believe so!!
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Ouch!
Numbing spray, a couple of panadols prior and mind over matter ie: try to think of other things while it’s being done & dont watch….
Good luck!
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Good on you Fordo – your uncle would be very proud of you for helping out the Leukaemia Foundation…
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You do realise there is an over the counter numbing cream you can get?
I suggest you get that and rub it in EVERYWHERE.
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What’s it called?
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Emla cream:
http://www.emla.com.au/
It’s actually meant to help kids getting vaccinations, but, you know, whatever.
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They use that before circumcisions too. I’m just saying.
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Are you suggesting he should have a circumcision too while they’re down there?
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Emla. Expensive but totally worth it.
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Be afraid. Be very afraid!!
I think every hetro man should experience it once in their lives so as to appreciate what some of us women go through every month…
Good luck!
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Tips? Put a stick of wood in your mouth and bite down hard.
And good on you for raising money!!!
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Adam Hills had one last year, perhaps he could provide some handy tips for the manzillian….
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Okay, take two pain relievers an hour beforehand. If you can get your hands on some topical lidocaine to apply a few minutes beforehand to help numb, that might be helpful. Focus on a single point in the room when it is time and rally your anger to bear down and be tough. Then after, take some time to appreciate what women go thru (that, in heels and sometimes with cramps- while smiling and pretending all is well).
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Holy crap, Lisa, that’s hard-arsed advice! Where’d you pick up your technique? An interrogation cage in North Vietnam?
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I’m wetting myself with laughter here……..
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Umm, how will we ever know that he has actually done it?
I don’t really get the point of Brazilians. Had it done once and felt like I resembled a plucked chook.
PS Ben kinda makes a great wingman to Carl. Actually, in this case, I think I prefer the wingman
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How will we know it’s been done? I think we will just have to take Ben’s word as a gentleman. I, for one, will be happy to do that.
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The least he could do is describe the experience in another article
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Ladies I would have thought this was an opportunity to not be too ‘real’ and give too much away and just let Ben just enjoy the experience naturally?… LOL
Ben, I think you just need a shot of whiskey and something to bite down on as a man’s pain threshold is supposed to be way lower than a woman’s. And those soft, giggly bit’s of skin are a challenge to pull taut so that give in the skin will probably hurt as the wax is ripped off.
No way around it Ben… it’s gunna hurt
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As a professional waxer can I recommend a)using clippers to shorten to hair length of no more than 1cm, b) afterwards wear boxers , c) avoid hot showers or baths for 24 hours d) exfoliate from 48 hours afterwards to avoid in grown hairs
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Belle, this conjured up some imagery that made me chuckle. The thought of Ben whipping out a bit of wet and dry sandpaper to work over his kiwifruit.
What else could a man exfoliate with and still hold his head high?
Also, what if the exfoliation becomes a little bit too ‘thorough’? Be hard to work out which camera you’re working with if you send yourself blind.
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Baaahhh hahhhaaaa!
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KIWIFRUIT!! Oh gosh I just squirted coffee all over my keyboard!
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Kiwifruit, brilliant love it! bahaha
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Trog you are killing me… you need your own column. Seriously laughing so hard (co workers looking at me oddly)
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Thanks for kind comments. Made a good day gooder.
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Exfoliation doesn’t have to be with anything too harsh- a wash cloth can be enough in the nether regions
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Such a fine line with the trimming though! It’s hard to be exact with the length when you can’t really see everything you’re doing?! I’ve been told I’ve trimmed too short before and the wax can’t pick up the hairs. Any advice?!
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If you can grab the hair with your fingers then the wax will be able to grip it
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Trim first! Waxing long hair is a bad, bad idea…
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Karl – shirt please? Thank you!
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Ouch…. it’s going to hurt…. especially if you’ve got long hair? Can we get some before and after pics?
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