What is ‘smartphone’ face, and how it's ruining every movie.

To say I’m obsessed with Bridgerton — and anything related to that glorious show — is putting it pretty mildly. 

But not in a way that I’ll binge-watch an entire season in one sitting. No, one must learn to appreciate the finer things in life. So I’ll dribble-watch it, if you will. I’ll put on an episode when I’m feeling like a treat and will basically make it last for as long as humanly possible. 

So, you can only imagine my excitement when Queen Charlotte was released. An entirely new story in the same charming universe? Sign me up! 

Watch: Jessie went a week without her phone. Post continues after video.

But, it’s been weeks now since it hit Netflix, and I just…can’t. Because as much as India Ria Amarteifio rocks as Her Majesty, it’s her face that's just not selling it for me. 

Yes, she’s at least British and grew up as a child actress on the West End. But as a 21-year-old born in 2001 — even dressed up in late 18th-century gowns — it’s pretty obvious that girl never even had to suffer through the sound of a dial-up modem. 

Enter, the ‘smartphone face’. A type of face that looks far too modern to actually belong in a period drama. I’m not exactly sure how I can better explain it other than to point out what isn’t a smartphone face. 

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Take, for example, the Queen of period dramas, Miss Keira Knightley. Because bow down peasants, there is no one in the history of the world more equipped to fill the shoes of the past than her. From the moment she lept onto the screen as the prim and proper Elizabeth Swan in Pirates of the Caribbean, to bringing her own take on Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice, the now-38-year-old was born to play a figure whimsically lost in time. 

Maybe it’s the sharp bone structure, the way her hair falls *just so*, those piercing brown eyes, or even the English rose lips, but Knightly has it. That period-star quality. 

So, what makes a smartphone face smartphoney? 

Maybe it’s the pearly white veneers, lash extensions, lip fillers, botox, highlighter, or just the beauty standards of 2023 that are infiltrating onto our TV and movie screens that just has everyone looking… samesie. 

Gone are the soft, classic looks that were once deemed timeless. 

It’s now all about accentuating angles, well-defined jawlines, high cheekbones, and enhanced eyebrows. And it’s getting hard to distinguish between all the actors who fit that description. 

So, in our well-researched investigation into who looks like they grew up with a smartphone in their palm, who’s on the chopping block, and who’s not? 

Image: Netflix.

India Ria Amerteifio

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, but this Brit – with her charming cheeks, cute-pie nose, and daring eyes – is just not made for regency. Maybe it’s the youthfulness on her side (I have to keep reminding myself that she’s only 21) but to me, she just looks entirely out of place in Queen Charlotte. Off with her head! 

Image: Netflix.

Ambeth McNulty

As a 15-year-old on the set of Anne with an E, Amybeth McNulty was probably glued to her mobile as part of the iPhone generation. But does she look like it? Most definitely not. With her bright orange hair and adorable freckles, she was 100 percent believable as Anne of Green Gables.  

Image: Amazon.

Daisy Jones and the Six

Actors or Instagram influencers? I honestly cannot tell when it comes to the cast of Daisy Jones and the Six. Maybe it’s just the quality of the cameras or on-point make-up, but there are zilch 70s vibes coming through the lens when I look at this lineup. Especially Camila Morrone. She was definitely born with an Insta handle.

Image: Lionsgate.

Blake Lively

The Mamamia office was split on this one. To me, she is the epitome of timeless beauty, especially in The Age of Adaline where she literally transcends time and remains 29 for nearly eight decades (I want whatever she’s having). But my colleagues just couldn’t see past Serena Van Der Woodsen. The 35-year-old may now be a mother of four, but did she really ever leave the Met steps? 

Image: Columbia Pictures.

Florence Pugh

2019’s Little Women was an uncomfortable mash-up for me. We had Emma Watson dominating as Meg March and Saoirse Ronan doing her thing as Jo, but Florence Pugh just left me in the lurch. Her Amy was more suited to a modern-day rom-com than 1860s Massachusetts.

Image: Netflix.

Timothée Chalamet 

I mean with a name like that, he’s not going anywhere modern anytime fast. But boy, if there ever was an actor who looked more like he belonged on an old Parisian street, it’s old mate Timmy. From The King to Little Women, this guy and his shaggy mane just belong in a different century.

Image: Netflix.

Anya Taylor-Joy

Loved, loved, loved The Queen’s Gambit. What an incredible series that was! But I’m sorry, did Anya fly in from the future to take the lead role? Because there is no way that futuristic face with its multitude of angles was around town in the 1950s. I’m just not buying it. Checkmate!  

Image: Mammoth Screen.

Aidan Turner

Ok, maybe it’s the stubble or those lush locks, but Aiden Turner has definitely just returned from fighting in the Revolutionary War for me in Poldark.

Image: Netlix, Columbia Pictures + Amazon.