For two years now my sister’s life has been plagued with anorexia nervosa.
Diagnosed at 17, I remember being in the carpark of a medical practice after her first appointment and, despite her obvious decline, we stood in some sort of numb shock.
Singer Kasey Chambers tells us what it was like to have an eating disorder. Post continues after video.
She explained that she required a physical assessment to decide whether she would need hospitalisation and tube feeding. I could not fathom the idea.
The stubborn streak in me would not fathom the idea. I remember thinking that surely there was something I could say; that if I found the perfect sum of words, I could fix it.
I remember wondering whether there was some sort of plan we could devise together to avoid what seemed, at the time, outrageous and unnecessary for the 17-year-old who was incredibly smart, witty, bright and kind.
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37 years ago I too lived with a sister who had bulimia and then anorexia. It seems the path for siblings and families is similar today as it was then. Searching and finding support and information is so hard. You can reach out to people who have had similar experiences but the immediate medical and non medical advice for supporting someone in this situation is very scarse.
When I had my daughter I constantly worried about what I should or should not do to have her fall into the same path as my sister. Even thought I had experienced this illness closely I still had no tools or knowledge around how to prevent it with my children.
I remember many times taking a group of my daughters friends to the public pool for a swim overhearing how unhappy they were with their bodies. I remember being so frustrated about how I should or could help them have a better view of the world, their bodies and self worth.
When I was in the middle of my sister's illness there were times that I felt angry, many times in fact. It was like the illness was used to move attention away from my achievements or the support I needed from my parents at the time to the illness. Do I feel guilty about that - yes. When there was one time my sister was in the Emergency Department having survived an attempted suicide (one of many) I looked at how sad and helpless my parents were in the waiting room. And yes I was so angry about how it was affecting them.
Family perspectives can be confronting.
One day I might be able to better understand the why, the how, and some of the ways we can try and prevent people from succumbing to this illness. I am still at a loss.
Teresa, can i ask how your sister is now?
Katherine I am so proud of you for sharing your journey in supporting a loved one with an eating disorder, you are an amazing big sister to Emily. As I sit here at the airport returning from spending the weekend visiting Emily, I am reminded of how lucky Emily is to have you and a family that loves her unconditionally xxxx