beauty

Sarah Jessica Parker describes her new fragrance as eau de body odour.

When The Coveteur recently asked her to describe her new fragrance, Stash, Sarah Jessica Parker seemed to struggle to find the right words.

She eventually went with: “Dark wood and body odour… It’s old and sexy, like a sweater from a guy who was on the Eurorail too long or something. Do you know what I mean?”

*Extended silence*

European Male Body Odour! So Frenchy, so chic!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, the worst part about the whole situation is that Queen SJP has literally spent YEARS perfecting this fragrance, only to make a bit of a slip-up as it launched. According to the Daily Mail, Stash has been brewing for almost a decade.

“It’s a project the 51-year-old actress and entrepreneur has had in the works since her oldest child, James Wilkie, now 13, was just a toddler and seven-year-old twins Marion Loretta and Tabitha weren’t even born,” they reported.

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So, out of respect for our Queen, we’re clearing this up once and for all.

Stash. Does. Not. Smell. Like. Body. Odour.

Here’s what it really smells like:

“The official top notes are grapefruit zest, black pepper and sage, met with middle notes of cedarwood atlas, patchouli, ginger lily and pistachio. The dry notes of olibanum, massoia wood, vetiver and musk are the ones we assume SJP is referring to in her ‘body odour’ depiction,” According to one Daily Mail reporter who actually whiffed the fragrance.

I don’t know about you, but that’s NOT what my pits smell like after a few hours at the gym. I would describe that more as a Eau De Wet Socks and Essential Oil Of Unwashed Hair.)

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Unfortunately for SJP, her B.O. blow-out has been picked up by the online winds and carried far, far away. Somehow we’re not sure she’s going to be able to stuff this back into the bottle.

Still, for those brave enough to take a whiff, Queen SJP promises great reward.

“This fragrance is about taking risks and expressing a more knowing, confident and sophisticated version of yourself,” she said to The Coveteur.

“I feel this new fragrance is a real rule breaker. It is unapologetically sexy. It’s addictive. And it is for everyone.”

Her third fragrance, Stash is gender neutral, and is packaged in an old-Hollywood liquor inspired bottle. By all accounts, it’s bloody delicious and not at all smelly.

Anyway, for poor SJP, we hope the bad smell around her new scent goes away soon.

Feel like a trip down memory lane? Check out Sex And The City’s most questionable outfits below.