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Rosie finally comes face to face with The Bachelor. Here's what went down.

Me, scared?

 

 

 

 

 

It finally happened, you guys.

After months of mercilessly ripping on Tim the Bachelor and his noble efforts to manage polygamous dating (along with daily serious beach thinking), I was finally given the opportunity to meet him in person.

Yep, last Friday (Valentine’s Day!) I had a date with Tim from The Bachelor. Well, a date with Tim and Anna, the girl who eventually reigned supreme during a romantic sunset in Thailand. But a date nonetheless.

At first I was kind of devo that I wasn’t offered a ride there in a helicopter and/or catamaran. Then I was especially disappointed that I was told to wait in a room with a table and chairs and not a magic love seat surrounded by sex candles.

And where the hell was the host, Osher to explain to me that I was doing an interview and an interview is when one person asks questions and another person answers them? I was about to contact whoever was in charge with a list of my grievances (who’s the CEO of Ten? Sandra Sully?), when Tim and Anna walked through the door.

I was a little floored. It was like meeting a real-life version of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.

Pleasantries were exchanged and things were perfectly lovely (and considering I basically spent three months calling referring to Tim as ‘muscles with a head’, it could’ve gone either way).

I asked him how he was, and he replied that he actually had a sore knee. Before I could even control the words coming out of my mouth, I asked him if it was sore because he’d been doing too much serious shirtless beach contemplation.

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My new BFFs.

He laughed (a little nervously actually), and I kicked things off by asking straight up if they were in love.

I then had to put up with about five straight minutes of gushing and hand holding and giggling. I’ll spare you the details except to say this: They insist that they are truly, deeply, madly in love.

Tim was even holding (and I swear I’m not kidding) a DIY scrap-book Anna had given him for Valentine’s that morning, filled with pictures of the two of them surrounded by cardboard hearts.

“That’s so sweet!” I eventually managed to say. “Yeah, you say that now,” Anna replied. “But I remember what you wrote about my big red box!”

Oh yeah. Shit. That’s right – I literally wrote thousands of words about how the two people sitting in front of me were kind of ridiculous.

I believe Anna was referring to the episode where she whipped out a red box filled with love notes for Tim, which I then went on to christen her ‘Big Red Box’.

She was laughing now though, so I (a little nervous myself now) pushed on.

I decided to play “Know your Boo” with them, which for those of you who watch Parks and Recreation will know is the ultimate test of a couple’s love. For those who don’t know – it’s basically a game where you ask the couple a few questions about each other, they write down answers and then you see if their answers match.

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I am clearly a serious investigative journalist.

I was hoping they would fail abysmally, but to my surprise they actually did pretty well. JKS! They only got 2 out of 5 each. But hey, it hasn’t been long since Tim wasn’t dating 24 other women, so I understand if they’re still getting to know each other.

In the first round I asked Anna about Tim. The (totally mature and profoundly intelligent) questions were:

1. What is Tim’s favourite workout machine at the gym?

2. How many girls did Tim kiss on The Bachelor?

3. Who was his first celebrity crush as a kid?

4. What was his mother’s maiden name?

5. What was the first concert she ever went to?

Here’s how their answers matched up (Anna’s on the left, Tim’s on the right)

SCORE: 2 out of 5.

 

In the second round I asked Tim about Anna. The (utterly serious and groundbreaking) questions were:

1. What does she want to name her first child?

2. What are her Grandparents’ first names?

3. What was her first pet name?

4. Who is her celebrity pass?

5. What was her favourite childhood movie?

Here’s how their answers matched up (Anna’s on the left, Tim’s on the right)

SCORE: 2 out of 5.

 

So, after meeting The Bachelor and his prize and shamefully probing them about their relationship via this totally legitimate interviewing technique, do I think they’re actually in love?

I can’t believe I’m about to say this but… Yes. I kind of do. They seem really, really happy together. Even my cynical heart was a little swayed.

BORING.

Bring on The Bachelor Season 2.

Auditions for The Bachelor Australia 2014 are now open. Click here to apply. And if you are anything like Ali and/or Jolene, please, PLEASE apply immediately.