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tnstuff June 22, 2020

Been remarried for 3 years (together for 7 years) and based on my personal experience, this is what i recommend anyone considering remarriage to someone divorced with kids:

JUST DON'T! It is NEVER worth the bovine scathology you get put through.

If i could go back in time i'd just keep dating him indefinitely, while preserving my financial freedom, my own living space (wish i had my old place to escape sometimes) and my sanity intact. NOTHING could had prepared me for all the BS i've been put through. My ex and i have a great coparenting relationship. Granted, it took a lot of work and time but eventually we both moved on and were able to put our kid's needs first; they're thriving, well adjusted, respectful and pleasant teens. I get many compliments and hiw cobsiderate and mindful they are. I thought my now husband and his ex would sort their stuff out as well...but she is the abusive type and she thinks that if she can abuse my husband then she can abuse me by proxy. My husband is a great man but he is quite spineless and a lot of the pain and hurt his ex has inflicted on us has been largely because he is afraid to confront her and set healthy boundaries. So i've had to step up and tried to show him how to stand his ground and shield me from her instead of using me as a shield against his ex and his alienated daughters. This marriage makes me feel like i am a newbie priest performing an exorcism on a heavily poltergeisted home. Because yes, the kicker is we live in the same house where he used to live with his ex and where his two puppets were engendered as if all the other bullwark wasn't enough. Heck, i had to throw a fit to make him buy a new bed for us to lay in as a new couple! He still had the old raggedy mattress where he mated with his obese ex. Wimpiness aside he has a lot of potential but his luggage is SO DARNED HEAVY and i should NOT have to carry it. I had my past worked out before we got hitched, he's never had to deal with my ex bcs that was my problem to resolve. I should had been more vigilant...but his ex kept things amicable before we got married since she harbored reconciliation delusions. After we got married she lost all her marbles and the barrage of mannure began. She knows to stop just before the point of breaking the law which makes it difficult to bring charges on her. So keep in mind that just because your prospective new hubby seems to have a reasonable ex, that doesn't mean she won't go batsh*t crazy afterwards and terrorirze you and weaponize their kids.

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