“Every child deserves to be excited they are a part of life,” Michelle Duggar told PEOPLE Magazine after announcing to the world that she is pregnant with her 20th child. Yes 20th.
It’s not the first time we have spoken about the Duggar’s on Mamamia check here, here, here and here. They’re a pretty extraordinary family.
PEOPLE reports:
The reality stars have faced mounting criticism over the size of their family and the risks of Michelle’s new pregnancy following the premature birth of their daughter, Josie, in Dec. 2009. But the couple insists that Josie’s frightening premature birth and Michelle’s life-threatening preeclampsia were not enough to convince them that 19 kids were enough.
“If we felt that way, we would have stopped back with our second birth,” insists Michelle, 45, who experienced preeclampsia during her second pregnancy with twins John David and Jana, now 21. “There are many women who have experienced preeclampsia and have gone on to have more children.”
“That whole mind set that you stop after a problem pregnancy isn’t realistic,” she continues. “You may encounter struggles along the way. You may not have a perfect pregnancy, but each child is a precious gift.”
The Duggars, who star on TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting, live debt free in a house they built themselves in Tontitown, Ark. They have also come under fire from those suggesting that their older kids have too much responsibility caring for the younger ones and that they don’t pay enough individual attention to their kids.
What do you think? Are the Duggars the anti-Kardashians?
Comments
241 Comments so far
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I usually love this site, and the great comments, but gee, the comments on this one are judgemental! Yes, I wouldn’t do it myself (no kids, planning to foster) but why judge so harshly?
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Imagine being on a listeria free diet for 9 months for each of 20 pregnancies. Urgh no thanks. I love soft cheese way too much so to hell with that. These people are totally repulsive to me. I have one word for them: abstinence.
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Revolting. More crackpots giving Americans a bad name.
Think of all the people that already exist in the world they could be helping, instead of creating new people with new demands!
Each new Duggar child’s needs will be met at the expense of resources that could be used elsewhere (ie. for the abused, neglected, disadvantaged, etc). This is true regardless of whether it’s the parents, the older kids, or some mega-corporation meeting the needs.
Apparently 1 in 5 American children go hungry on any given day. So how “Christian” is it to create 20 kids, knowing there are so many kids that already exist, in their own back yard, in such desperate need?
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This couple make me sick, they are an absolute disgrace.
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I think the parents are incredibly selfish. I’m not even going to touch on the fact that they most likely don’t have time to serve the needs of all their children fully because heaps of people have already brought that up.
What angers me most about big families like this is that I think if people want that number of children they should ADOPT. According to the comments below, this family has asked for donations from people around them in order to support their huge family. These donations should be given to people who really deserve them – eg. children in orphanages who didn’t ask to be there, or families in 3rd world countries who don’t have access to education about contraceptives.
Furthermore, these people should think about the effect they’re having on our planet. Haven’t they ever heard of overpopulation?
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I wonder what their 22 “my family” stickers on the back of their car looks like. Would the window be big enough??
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I’ve never seen their show or heard of them until today. So in honour of the family’s apparent ‘goodness’ – I will do the world a favour in their honour stop at one child.
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Well each to their own – if they want to have that many children good on them. But, I have a problem with this comment:
“That whole mind set that you stop after a problem pregnancy isn’t realistic,” she continues. “You may encounter struggles along the way. You may not have a perfect pregnancy, but each child is a precious gift.”
Yes you can have another pregnancy after a difficult one, but it doesn’t mean you should. I have been told not to have another pregnancy because the last one was too hard. And I wasn’t in a life or death experience like pre-eclampsia. But the thought of being on bed rest again (I was admitted a few times to hospital during the pregnancy and was on bedrest from 31 weeks) is too much. Yes I can do it, but I would be so selfish to my other two children who need me at home. Just because we physically can do something, doesn’t mean we should.
So good on them, but gee whiz what selfish people they are.
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I guess when you dont actually raise the kids u can keep having babies….her oldest kids have to teach the younger kids and dress them and feed them….what kind of parenting is that seriously? I love how “god” will decide whether they have kids, yet when serious medical care is needed they dont let “god” decide what will happen with the premmie baby…Typical Christians pick and choosing what medical advice they want to take or not. She really shouldnt have more kids, imagine if she actually had serious problems with this pregnancy and died(touch wood) what about the 19 kids she leaves behind!
I couldnt agree with you more though Oopsyboops
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So true—the hypocrisy of it! It’s like people who get pregnant with multiples (as in, 4 or more) and refuse to selectively terminate, even if it means better odds for the remaining babies, because “God has decided they be pregnant with the original number.”
Interesting how God never seems to factor into the initial fertility problems… they’re always more than happy to embrace scientific intervention at that point.
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I wouldn’t call them “typical christians” as there is nothing “typical” about them at all. They seem to be extremely unusual people to me.
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If the Duggars had had my 2 year old somewhere in the mix I’m pretty sure Michelle would have tied her tubes. Gotta love toddlers.
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The pelvic floor! WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE PELVIC FLOOR??!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47P59ha9k9s
“Get that would you Deidre”…
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More power to them I say! Yes, they raise their family differently to me, but they do it with love. All the children are educated, cared for, loved and wanted. Yes they have to help out with chores and caring for younger siblings – but it wasn’t that many generations ago that this was the norm. Sometimes I pine for a lifestyle more like the Duggars – I wonder if what we have now really is that big an improvement? I live thousands of kms from my family, I have little support, debts, etc and as a result I know we can only comfortably manage 2 children. But I would love a bigger family – having more people in my life to love has to be a good thing, right?
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This is how I feel. I think the idea that everyone takes care of those younger than them is quite nice. Sometimes I too wish for a simpler life where it wasn’t full of stuff and debt. I am seriously working on this. We have 4 children (15, 5, 3 & 7months) and I expect that everyone helps out with household stuff and the younger children if necessary.
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I think that would be terrible. I only have 5 siblings, and I am the eldest. The next is 18 months younger than me, then 9 years and 9 years, and 11 years, and 17 years (all in terms of how much younger than me). The youngest calls me ‘mum’, and I’m only 19. How is this fair? My mum tries hard, but she can’t be everywhere at once, and I often miss out on going out with my friends simply because I feel guilty leaving her home with the rest of the lunatics by herself. It is selfish to have so many children (particularly when the older ones are going to be stuck raising their siblings).
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How lucky are those kids to be born into a family where they are loved and cared for.
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This should be the daily wtf not the daily wow. How can 2 parents realistically care for and adequately meet the needs of 20 children? In my view this is wrong and these children deserve more. Also who in the hell is paying for all this? I hope tax payers aren’t I can see much better and less selfish ways for that many to be spent. How selfish are these people, just disgusting
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They have never taken any government assistance and they live entirely debt free. I don’t know about the parents but younger Duggar couple Josh and Anna give at least 10% of their annual income to charity. Can you say as much?
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They get assistance from their church and community…
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Actually they don’t. Their friends help with stuff and they help with their friends. People bring meals for a funeral or when Josie was born, they don’t ask for or receive money or goods. I don’t agree with a lot the Duggars do, but they support their family and are ‘buy used save the difference’ which lessens their carbon footprint.
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The way the children have been dressed in the past few seasons surely doesn’t look like “used” clothing to me. Those kids are decked out in Gap and Old Navy etc. Discovery Channel or product placement is probably dressing those kids, not charity.
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Can I please ask an honestly curious question?
I have heard it many times said by parents of large families that they don’t receive benefits etc. I am just really curious to know how you could manage that?
Obviously one way that you would save is that you wouldn’t be going out to movies/ dinners etc. I figure that will only get you so far in savings though and I wonder what the trick is past that? I have only managed to catch the Duggars TV show once or twice and I couldn’t help but notice the massive house (which you would obviously need for that many people). Wouldn’t you need quite a sizable income to have that house in the first place, never mind the 21 mouths to feed on top of that too (they would surely have a huge food bill)? I imagine that they would probably save on clothes by using hand me downs, but there are generally only so many people that clothes can go through before they just literally wear out and you have to buy the next person in the chain some new clothes.
So what are the tricks? I know there are plenty of people around here with families of 6, 8, and 10 kids. If the primary income earner in the family is not on a CEO’s income, and you don’t collect any benefits, how do you survive? What is the 1+1+2 that allows them to put food on the table, clothe everyone and keep a roof over their heads (the basic necessities)? Is it that when you say you don’t collect any benefits, you don’t include things like family tax benefits in that? or you truly don’t even collect that?
I apologise in advance for my overly nosy question. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business!
It is just something that I have wondered about, and I guess maybe I wonder if there is a big tip that big families have that i have not been able to work out for myself. Can someone please turn the lightbulb on for me? 
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From my understanding (which is limited) they built their own house to save on labour costs, they make all their own clothes, and they get a sizeable cheque from their reality TV show. Other than that, I wouldn’t have a clue…
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The house took them quite a few years to build I believe. They asked local labourers to donate their time. They also had a lot of appliances and furniture right down to a stocked cubboard donated. I have few issues with the way the Duggar’s run their life but this was one of them. Surely there are people who are more in need than them?
The father also has a number of real-estate investments. They must doing alright because their website of two overseas holidays!
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The appliances came in return for a plug on the show, and that was only a couple of things. They survive on their real estate investments which they have built up over 20 years. It’s all in their first book, which is very interesting.
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I guess the message is that they are not huge consumers like most of us are.. I bet Michelle doesnt have a wardrobe full of clothes she rarely wears, like most women
…I’m sure their teenage daughters dont hang out at Supre like my 14yo niece and her friends….they took time getting that house rather than wanting is yesterday….and thats what leads us into the belief that we need 2 incomes and as much credit as we can access.
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Lu, there is not much you say that I don’t agree with. On a rainy day in Sydney today with two young children at home with me (and all my friends and family at work) I really wish you were my next door neighbour and would pop in for a chat over a coffee.
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If we didn’t live in a world with over 7 billion people on it, I would say good on you, go for it. But we dont, so I wont. I will say selfish instead.
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Wow… and I thought the sandwich factory line I make for my dad’s lunch every Monday and Tuesday night was tough. That’s only 8 sandwiches! I would hate to make dinner or pack lunch boxes for this crowd!
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They should qualify for they own Post Code by now! or is it just to get there faces on TV.
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Each to their own – I wish them well.
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What’s with these people – dont they have television? Or another hobby?Cynic that I am, I cant help thinking about all the homeless, starving and orphaned children in the world.
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That’s not cynical that’s logical
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I am more suprised that anyone else is suprised!
I love this family, good on them. I just hope Michelles body holds up!
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Their tv series should be called ‘I don’t know how she does it’!!!
I have to confess when I first heard about the Duggars I was thinking what a bunch of weirdos BUT…you cannot deny they are kind of endearing – especially Michelle who comes across as a real doll. Whatever their decisions regarding how many children they bring in to this world, who can claim to own your own home debt free with 19 children?! I have 3 kids and find it hard enough physically and financially! They are the polar opposite to someone like Octomum who doesn’t seem to be financially fit for the number of children she decided to have.
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I can imagine a good episode of Wife Swap, where they swap with a couple of DINK’s from NY.
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I LOVE Wife Swap. Hilarious!
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The only thing that really bothered me about them was when their sons wife had their first baby. From memory Michelle arrived for the homebirth (intimidating much?) and then once the baby was born a truckload of Duggars arrived to meet their new niece/nephew. When I had just given birth all I wanted was a sleep and a cup of coffee – not 20 visitors who were mostly children!
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I think it depends on your personality. I had 2 kids in Australia and my family were in the waiting room while I was in labor. That didn’t bother me, in fact I was grateful for it and straight after giving birth is when I feel my best (you know, before the reality of round the clock feedings kick in!). And then, when we lived in England I gave birth to my daughter and there was no one in the waiting room for us. It was eerily quiet and really kind of sad not to share the joy with our family as we had done on previous occasions.
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Michelle and Jill were birth support for Anna and Jim Bob and the kids came three days later. I do think its hard on Anna though having to give birth twice on national tv, but hopefully it’s actually what she really wants
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I just feel for the kids…except the oldest boy…man that kid is a pain in the ass know it all(who has NO life experience). The kids are pretty much kept in a prison and how unhealthy is it that they dont mix with the outside world…apart from other huge families that are also homeschooled and religious nutts. The oldest girls are made to teach the youngest while the older boys are made to build the house. I understand that people should be aloud to have big families that’s great, but the kids are raising the kids….not the parents…PLUS…i would like to punch Jim Bob(the dad) in the face with the amount of hairspray he uses and his sons also use…..if u are going to have a big family surely you should teach them to save the environment not poison it with a can of hairspray each day….sorry…they just piss me off….
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Wowsers. I don’t really understand Michelle Duggar’s decision to risk her future organ function or even her life with eclampsia, but that’s the nature of her faith I suppose. Hope it works out for her OK. Apart from that I am just in awe of Michelle’s physical stamina and her capacity for hard work.
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I was shocked when I saw them on Oprah (or some talk show….) when they were at 15 kids!?!
this is just crazy….
is it because they are religious issue or are they just Insane?
Arent they grandparents as well….maybe they just never want their TV show to end….
When I saw them on the talk show I was suprised to see the order in their home and how well behaved and talented their kids are….and she home schools too!!!
man! I dont have time for (my) two boys and every single day I question my parenting and my skills as a mother….Ughhh! what am I doing wrong?
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oh and Id love to know what actually happens to a woman’s body after 20kids?! wish they’d discuss that in their show??
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Fools.
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I really kind of wish she would stop…. it just seems way too much for herself and her other children. What if this pregnancy kills her? What will happen to the other 19 kids without their mum?
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The first thought I had was how on earth they manage to find the time to get pregnant again. I would of thought with 19 kids they would of been falling asleep every night as soon as all the kids were asleep !
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Maybe if the parents were doing all the looking after of all the kids, that would be the case, but the older kids do a lot of the caring for the younger ones. Maybe this is okay and maybe it isn’t – it’s certainly different to the culture we all recognise today where most kids are pretty self-centred and self-absorbed as teenagers. I haven’t seen the whole show – only snippets on YouTube, so hard to comment, but on the whole it looks like the kids are happy and healthy. Personally, I can’t imagine having even half that number of kids and staying sane.
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This was just crowned comment of the day on Jezebel:
There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe
she had so many children
her uterus fell out.
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There is an episode of Family Guy, where Stewie asks a prostitute he is sitting next to whether having sex with her is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway . . .
Now I have the giggles . . .
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That made me snort.
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“It’s a womb, not a clown car!”
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Gold
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I support reproductive choice. I support the right of women to have an abortion if it’s what they believe is in their best interests, and I support Michelle Duggar’s right to plan her family as she sees fit.
I have a bigger issue with the culture that these kids are growing up in where they feel like they can’t leave home and pursue education and career options because they need to be at home in order to support their parents chosen way of life. It must be very difficult to get out of that house for anything other than getting married, and that seems really sad.
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True, I think that is the real shame of this topic, one of the elder girls wanted to go to college & become a mid-wife, it is rather archaic that the girls can only leave for marriage. Thats not just sad, that is wrong! Mabye they are not so different from the Kardashians?
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My feeling is that as soon as you sign up for a reality show it doesn’t matter if you worship Jehovah or Manolo Blahniks you are in essence cut from the same cloth.
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I medically required one after the birth of my THIRD!
As someone else has mentioned what about her pelvic floor?
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I have just had my third and have been told by friends that you can get medicare funded tummy tucks if you meet certain requirements…. is this true or an urban myth?? I have about 6 kg to go before I am back to my original weight but my tummy is like a massive flap of skin… disgusting! My boys were 3.6kg, 5kg and 3.9kg…. it was the middle child who did this to me
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I think they do it if you’re at risk of a hernia and have a dangerous degree of muscle separation…
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I was fighting fit after my third. 166cm and 60kg. I had a frightening space between my stomach muscles; classic potential hernia material.
YES, my surgery was partially funded by Medicare. But NO, don’t see a general surgeon. My procedure was done by a well known Plastic Surgeon, not a Cosmetic Surgeon. Honestly, to me, the procedure was life changing. I could not life a fulfilling life with the physical baggage that my third child left me. A girlfriend had the same situation and went to a General Surgeon. She left with a scar from her belly button to her pubic bone. Yes, I paid more, but my scar was more c-section like and I lost a stack of belly skin during the process. My ideal to you would be to lose as much weight as you can before you have surgery to improve your longterm results.
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With that many kids still in nappies when does Michelle Duggar find time to change her own?
I think the real victim in this story is her pelvic floor.
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Hahaha you just made me laugh and nearly pee. I’ve only had three.
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A few generations ago it was not uncommon for people to have very large families. It was also fairly common for women to die giving birth so couples would often go without sex for a number of years rather than take the risk.
My grandmother told me that people would look down on the husbands of women who had huge families. They were seen to be selfish and cruel as the wives and children paid a terrible price for their lust.
Perhaps the Duggars need to consider the “gift” of self-control if they don’t believe in birth control. God has not impregnated Mrs Duggar 20 times, Mr Duggar has. They say they’re praying for her health. Why is it God’s responsibility to keep her safe, not their own?
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Oooh, I love your comment.
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I doubt it is even Mr Duggar who did this to her. Pregnant at 45, try a fertility specialist.
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Actually it’s more likely for women who have had a lot of preganacies to continue to be fertile quite late (because they have lots of eggs left! when you are pregnant you don’t ovulate). My nana was pregnant quite naturally when she was 49 and she had 8 children.
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Okay, I’ll admit I’m a bit of a Duggar Family fan. It’s to balance out my Rachel Zoe and Kardashian Krap failings. Really didn’t think they would have any more children after everything they all went through after the last baby, Josie. Their faith in God is clearly strong, and that is what is important to them.
The children appear very grounded and happy. Obviously they are going to have more responsibilities and chores than children in smaller families, however they seem to see this as their norm. There is a lot of love and
laughter in their home and I wish them the best.
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I would love to know how Michelle’s body handles this pregnancy. My body has had it with this third pregnancy and I don’t know how I’d cope with a 4th let alone 20th. I know she has plenty of help but still physically I wonder how she copes.
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I’d love to see her as the spokeswoman for Poise. Then I’d know there was a God!
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Ha Lu, so true!
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My body was shot to shit after one!!!
I take off my hat to anyone who has more than one. Unfortunately I can’t but that’s okay.
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$50 to the first person to name them all!!
*flicks over to Google*
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Josh Jana John David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy Anna Jedediah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn and Josie.
Josh is married to Anna and they have Mackynzie and Michael.
Money please! :p
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God certainly likes the Duggar’s an awful lot doesn’t he? he keeps on giving them those wonderful gifts.
I wonder what the childless people are doing wrong to displease God so much?
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Clearly you’ve written this comment to get a response, but I give in – I bite.
What an insensitive, uncaring thing to say!
A couple’s inability to have a child ‘naturally’ has nothing to do with God being displeased. I happen to know that God loves couples who can’t conceive, unconditionally, and just as much as anyone else on this planet.
In fact, if you had any idea about God’s love for us, you wouldn’t have been inclined to write your comment. For which, I feel sad for you.
Next time, think before you speak
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I think ruby red was speaking facetiously, little eve.
I’m sure no god is mean enough to visit childlessness on anyone.
Hang in there.
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I think rubyred was being a little sarcastic with her remark, not trying to offend?
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Oh, I forgot to put my name in
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I think it was a supposed to be a joke…
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Hi Little Eve – I didn’t mean to offend you in that way – I was being sarcastic, as the other commenters here have said.
I don’t believe that God bestows gifts upon anyone, I don’t believe that some people don’t have children because they have displeased god – I don’t believe in God at all, I believe in Science.
I personally find it really offensive that people like the Duggars claim that they have been given these precious gifts by God – what makes them so special that God keeps giving them gifts and he doesn’t give any to people like you who want them also?
I see it as being somewhat self important “ooh look at all the gifts that god is giving to us – we’re so blessed”.
Sorry again.
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Completely agree with you!! well said
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I think you are totally correct. If it is good enough to thank god for ‘giving’ you a gift I think it is good enough to ask what you have done wrong when god refuses. Or maybe there is no god and how many babies we do or don’t have is just a result of our own personal situation.
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Very very well said! It makes me mad!
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completely and utterly irresponsible.
What about the quality of the life thats being brought into the world? Their last little one almost died.
CRAZY crazy crazy.
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The show is really boring… its just them making 50 pieces of toast or a teenager trying to get a 4 year old to have a nap or all of them getting car sick on their big bus… yawn…. still watch it of course!!
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50 pieces of toast! Lol.
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Its actually on TV right now in Toronto and they are eating breakfast cereal…turns out 4 boxes a morning! Im cracking up.
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How do they pay for that?
L
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They need to hook up with the other strange lot on Extreme Couponing…
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BUT thats why I love it, I watch it thinking they had sooo many kids and I have 3 and cant get it together some days
I think if I had that many kids it would be out of control!!! lol!!!!
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I want to write my thoughts before I read the others.
I think Michelle seems very ‘media savvy’ and a little bit smug. I don’t like it at all. I hope this child was conceived in love and not in $$$
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They are slightly weird and and very separated from the real world, being home schooled, very religious and no tv. BUT they are fantastic role models for how we can treat our children. I love the way they buddy up an older child with a young one and how all the kids have a job to play running the home. Fantastic! I only wish my kids would do the same without whinging!
They are taught to be selfless from a young age and to do things for other people, fantastic. I occasionally watch it and it makes me feel like an inferior parent because they do such a great job!
If she wants to have 20 kids, I am all for her being that they are brought up so well. They do not sponge off the state and have earnt every penny that it costs them!
Go Duggers!
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I know that they are not in debt, but at least some of their earnings come from their reality show, like the kardashians etc. I just don’t know how I feel about this family. I think their clothes and her fringe disturb me.
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I am going to get my kid’s entire class to dress as the Duggars for Halloween next year. I don’t normally do Halloween but that would be worth it. Off to scour the net for 22 pairs of khaki pants.
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We will need photographic evidence!
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Actually I was going to comment that I was most disturbed by the identical pants. Can you get them for newborns?
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Sorry, but it is socially irresponsible to have that many children, especially given how over-populated the world already is.
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they look remarkably well for parents of 20…good luck to them. 20 kids in itself does not preclude a kid from growing up happy and loved. Far worse things going on than this!
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In regards to their eldest son, I’d be mighty pissed off if my parents were still popping out kids when I had married and started my own family. How do they manage their role as grandparents?
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What ‘role as grandparents’? I am interested to know if you, and others, think that grandparents have some responsibilities / obligations regarding their adult children and grandchildren.
I have 2 children, my husbands parents live overseas and and my own parents live 3 hours away and visit rarely (3 or 4 times a year, for the day). I think it’s nice when they visit but I don’t feel like they should have to visit if they don’t want to, that is to say I don’t feel like they owe us anything. I expect it to be the same if my children have children one day: I will be involved if and when I want to be and only if my children want me to be.
{ I think this would be an interesting topic for a post }
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I feel a bit sad reading your post, Being a grandma has been my favourite thing EVER
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Don’t be sad! I love my kids and hope if I am lucky enough to have grandchildren that I will get to see them often (every few days) but I don’t agree with the idea that grandparents are somehow responsible for childcare. I would never expect that of my own parents, sure if they wanted to babysit that would be great but if they don’t want to that is ok too, it’s not their responsibility (as I see it). I get jealous sometimes of people who have helpful grandparents and take it for granted. If you have grandparents who are willing to help then you (and your kids) are very lucky and should be grateful.
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My one year old is looked after by the outlaws on Monday & my parents on Thursdays as I work full time & they enable me to not have to put her in care full time. I’m so lucky & the grandparents love their days with her. Everyones a winner!
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I think grandparents have an important role if your kids are lucky enough to have them. My kids see their granparents quite often. They have sleepovers and love it. Of course I never exhaust it as both sets of grandparents get tired so maybe one a month they stay over and we go out and once a week they see them for a visit. They love it, kids love it. Everyone is happy.
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I feel sad for my friends whose parents have no interest in their lives and their childrens. My parents and my in laws adore their grandchildren and soak them up as often as they can. I feel for grandparents though who have the relationship exploited by providing endless babysitting like its expected of them.
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I agree Lu, I had to end a friendship with someone over them over exploiting her inlaws. They looked after the kids nearly every weekend and she went back to work as looking after 3 kids under 5 was all too hard. I said to her if you are finding 38 difficult to manage with 3 kids how the hell do you think you inlaws 30 years your senior manage. Our friendship ceased, she took offence, & I realised how bloody selfish she was.
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I know a woman whose kids actually stayed with her mother during the week because it was too hard for her to drop them off before work and collect them afterwards….the kids would often stay Friday night too because they liked to go out for drinks after work…poor grandma finally got to relax when they started school. She always justified that it was ok by saying her mum loved it. I’m sure she loved the kids but I doubt she loved having 3 toddlers to care for, bath and feed 6 nights a week in her 70′s!
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Holy crap, talk about out-sourcing your responsibilities! Did the kids ever see their parents?
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They do say now they feel bad about expecting so much of her…now that they’re doing it all themselves!
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I think the role of grandparents is a great idea for a post.
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I’d be happy to assume that he Duggars LOVE kids and would like to be involved with their grandchildren. I agree that you don’t have to be a heavily involved grandparent (my kids have six grandparents and only 2 of them are involved) but given how much responsibility the eldest Duggars had to take on with their siblings, I think it would be nice for the grandparents to get involved.
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Responsibilities and Obligations? Why yes I think they do.
What role do Grandparents play?
Nuturer, ancestor/historian, friend, mentor, offer experience, wisdom and knowledge from life lessons learned, unconditional love, another trusted adult to confide in, support and guidance if needed. I could go on…
It’s such a special unique relationship, one which should be cherished, children are richer for it.
( I understand there are some circumstances in which these relationships are not possible)
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Thank you Nora for your long list of things that grandparents can offer their children. A helpful reminder of all the things my children miss out on by not having more involved grandparents. But it still doesn’t answer my original question: do you think grandparents have to be those things for their grandchildren whether they want to or not? In your original statement you say ” I’d be mighty pissed if my own parents were still popping out kids when I had married and started my own family”. This implies that you think the grandparents are obligated to you and your children to the point where the role of grandparent supercedes their own wishes regarding having more children themselves.
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You did ask the question, I’m sorry if my answer upset you I obviously misunderstood what you were asking. I don’t necessarily think they’re physically obligated to me or my grandchildren but gee it would be nice if they were available to do so.
I think it would be terribly sad if the grandparents did not wish to be part of their grandchildrens lives. Should they feel obligated? I still think yes, in a moral sense of the word.
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I hate to say it but imagine her girl bits after pushing out 19 kids..
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This could be a very unpopular view, but I actually think many parents possibly over-invest themselves in their children’s lives. Having a couple more (not 20!!!) would make such a thing impossible and give the kids a bit more autonomy. They’d also get lots of practice at sharing and probably end up more community-minded.
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I read somewhere that the ideal number of children is 4, too many kids to fuss over and indulge them but parents still have time to give them one on one attention.
I’m running with it since I have 4 myself!
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I don’t think I’ll end up with 4- hubby only wants 2- but I’ve always liked the dynamics of 4 child families. They seem to have a nice balance.
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I have 4 & its great, although not for everyone. I have many friends with 2 who say ” I dont know how you manage?”, its just life, some people are very content with just 1 & some of us are greedy!
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My friends with 2 kids are forever organising playdates to keep their kids entertained. With 4 we dont need to do that because there’s always someone to play with at home. And I just really cant be bothered..
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Yay for us, me too.
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I don’t even have 20 people in my extended family!
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Same!
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We had some friends growing up who had 14 kids. Their house always smelt like wee.
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I only have 2 kids and my house smells like wee.
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I only have one completely toilet trained child and the house currently smells of wee… Cat wee…
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There is NO WORSE smell than cat wee!!!
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The investment in the Urine off and another brand (can’t remember the name) have certainly paid off but there is one wee patch that I can’t find in order to treat it – that is the source of the smell.
Said cat is actually toilet trained – it is a behavioural thing yet to be worked out… something to do with the fact she is a tortoiseshell and may be a little bit unbalanced has been suggested
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My sisters have a cat with ‘behavioural issues’.
Their little cat is now on a small dose of daily anti-anxiety medication (tablet form) and she doesn’t pee anymore. Might be worth speaking to your vet and seeing if it is a viable option??
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Good idea! The feliway (plug in diffuser of calming cat pheremones – I kid you not – the smell drives me to try anything!) is having limited success but not enough… Will def investigate – thanks!
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When our cat did this the vet suggested putting their food in the room they have designated as the new toilet – apparently they wont do it around their food. Worked for us! Good luck.
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I just love how this has gone from the Duggars to mental cats! Hilarious!
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Thanks BatGirl – Have just tried putting the food in the favoured room today – will see what happens in the next day or so…
Thanks for the tip!
Shaezy – you are so right – whoever would have thought I would have found some answers and support for my unbalanced cat in a post about the Duggars…
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According to Shannon Lush cat wee glows under UV/black lamps. Might help you identify the offending patch. Then I think she suggests cleaning with white vinegar to neutralize the smell. maybe worth a try!!
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I actually ordered a UV black light torch from ebay last week. The joke in our house at present is that it would be like and episode of CSI but actually WeeSI!
Will have to try all measures. Luckily she’s very cute and when she’s not in nutty tortie crazy mode she is very affectionate!
Will store the vinegar idea away as well – thank you