“Hold me closer Tony Danza”: & other misheard song lyrics

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Have you ever misheard song lyrics? Mis-sung them? Felt like a total dick when you realised what you’d been doing? Sometimes FOR YEARS? Even decades. Author and Mamamia writer Rebecca Sparrow has and bless her, she is prepared to share her shame …

*By Rebecca Sparrow

Last week I had the type of humiliating moment that rocketed straight into my Top Five Humiliating Moments Of All Time.  More humiliating than the time I went on ABC radio and chastised the Broncos for signing Brendon Fevola (who it turns out plays AFL). More humiliating than when the delivery guy saw me topless through the window next to the front door (don’t ask). More humiliating than the time I described a new Irish singer as “Ireland’s answer to Van Morrison” (that would be the Van Morrison who himself is actually IRISH).

Far East Movement – the band who like cheese sticks (performers of Like a G6)

So what happened last week?  I got caught singing the wrong lyrics to a song.   I was trying to look cool at the gym while running on the treadmill. Trying to look hip in front of Jason my trainer who has the looks of The Commando and the personality of, well, The Commando.

And I found myself attempting to sing along to some cool-ass-gangster-rap-hip-hop-yo-yo-wassup-dawg song as I shuffled along on the treadmill like Cliff Young.   And somehow I ended up singing the words “Like a cheese stick, like a cheese stick” to a song that apparently is not dairy-focused.  The song is called “Like a G6”. Allegedly.  I think that sounds ridiculous. I mean, what the hell is a G6? My trainer however thought this was HYSTERICAL.

Oh how we laughed at my mistake. Well, he laughed. I made a mental note to send him an email virus.

But it got me thinking about misheard song lyrics.  A quick scan of my friends and it seems I’m not alone in screwing up words.  Here are just a few of their mistakes ….

  • Cheap Wine and A Three Day Roast   (Cheap Wine and A Three Day Growth by Cold Chisel)
  • Save the Whales (Sail Away by Enya)
  • Turn the Heater On  (Turn The Beat Around by Gloria Estefan)
  • We’re Gonna Get Dressed For Safe Sex  (We’re Gonna Get Dressed For Success by Roxette)
  • Alex The Seal  (Our Lips Are Sealed by The Go-Gos)
  • Our Father And Mark and Kevin (Our Father Who Art in Heaven, The Lord’s Prayer)
  • Another turnip on a fork stuck in the road (Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road – Time of Your Life by Green Day)
  • Wrapped Up Like A Douche (Revved up like a deuce from Blinded By The Light)
  • Take your pants off and make it happen (Take your passion and make it happen – Flashdance)
  • And one friend’s five-year-old is convinced ABBA’s Dancing Queen is “Dancing Bean. Dancing Bean. Feel the touch of your tangerine.”

So now I don’t feel quite so stupid. Well, I still feel stupid but I’m in good company.

So what song lyrics have you screwed up?

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