Hello Weekend. It’s been too long. Welcome back. Yes, it’s once again time for Mamamia’s most popular weekly post where you get to reflect on the highest and lowest points of your week and find out how everyone else is doing.
If you’re new to Mamamia or this post, remember that your ‘worsts’ don’t have to be tragic or serious. Trivial is totally fine.
Also, check out the Best & Worst Dressed celebrities of the week here.
WORST: Not having enough time for my girlfriends.
BEST: Walking through the mall yesterday after taking the little kids to music class, I was stopped by a lovely MM reader called Alex who just wanted to tell me that she loves the website and loved my book. This happens from time to time and whenever it does, I’m always relieved not to be caught pulling my undies out of my bottom or shouting at my kids to “STOP ASKING FOR A DOUGHNUT WHEN YOU’VE ALREADY HAD A CUPCAKE AND THIS IS THE LAST TIME I’M GOING TO TELL YOU AND ENOUGH WITH THE WHINGING OR I’M GOING TO LOSE IT.”
Or maybe people do recognise me at those moment and choose – wisely – to tip-toe quietly away in the hope I don’t give them time out and a stern talking-to.
Alex had just been reading the Gabriella Cilmi post on the bus and said she hoped people weren’t going to be too full-on in the comments and that she doesn’t know how I do it. I nearly kissed her because co-incidentally, I happened to be having a conversation in my head at the time along the lines of “I don’t know how I do it. Not coping. Drowning not waving. Etc.” I introduced Alex to Coco and Remy and tried to encourage her to comment on the website (she said she was to nervous). So if you’re reading this Alex, COME ON. Speak up.
Writing this website is an all-consuming and often very solitary thing so it is a delight to meet readers. You’re such a kind bunch. Good looking too.
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Comments
1,146 Comments so far
Congratulations,what a lovely post!
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Mia, having 1,129 comments-and counting!-must be a new ‘best’? This has to be a record? Yes? Hopefully this is when you get to sit back and serve yourself a big glass of ‘I made it!! I really truly have created from nothing a gem of a website and a fantatic online commununity. I rock and my site is an amazing success’….We’ll all drink to that.
Bests: Lots of bests, am just loving life right now. Went to the premiere of Accidents Happen-a new Australian film . Without ruining the story, in a car crash the family loses their sister and their brother has brain damage as a result….this happens in the first five mins, so I haven’t spolit anything…I was there with my family and because my own brother has brain damage it was just so moving to all be seeing it together. My mum and I were both crying throughout which was to be expected but I was so moved that my very cool 21 year old brother was crying throughout it too.
Best 2#: Boyfriend has just been so lovely all week. Have been marvelling all week that I have won the lottery as far as boyfriends go….It’s a lovely feeling to feel so lucky in love. Sorry if this sounds smug…don’t mean it to.
More Bests: # I love that Autumn is turning out such beautiful sunny days for us
# Got a bike for my birthday last week and loved taking it for a ride on the weekend-not in a hard core dedicated cyclist way, but rather a wind in my hair riding through the meadows kind of way…a delightful way to get from A t B
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Worst: Finding out i can’t get into my psych course unless i get myself an internship – now i feel lost, and don’t know what to do next.
Best: Making appointments with wedding-dress-shops for tomorrow!
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Best: Being on my honeymoon. I had a wonderful time away with my gorgeous husband and think we may have a little souvenir-in-the-making we brought back with us…
Worst: Feeling sick. Mornings, evenings, lunchtimes, all the time. Feeling dizzy.
Other best: Strawberry Quix. Nuff said.
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Update us on your souvenir!!
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Your worst might turn out to be a best in 9 months… Fingers crossed!
xx
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Congratulations!
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Best: finding out I will have life-changing surgery. My quality of life will be better & I can move on from the pain!!
Worst: finding out I am pregnant (unplanned, were using contraceptives) and that I probably wont be getting the life-changing surgery.
I am so confused, between being devastated for myself & happy for a baby, I don;t know what to think or feel. There was already the question of whether to complete our family & suffer through the pain now & then have the surgery, or to have the surgery now, but have the possibility of it being just as hard on my body to be pregnant afterwards.
I guess it has been answered for us, but I am so frightened of how bad it might be and worried that when I see the specialist he will recommend not having the baby & I’m not sure I can go through with that either.
I already have one child to care for, what if I end up not being able to look after either of them?!
I know I am jumping the gun & should wait to see the specialist, but it’s hard not to think about it.
Sorry for venting on all of you
Lots of love to everyone having a rough time xx
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Don’t apologise, this place is perfect for venting! Listen to the specialist and see what he says, it will help to have a professional’s opinion, even if you don’t agree in the end. Good luck with any decisions you might be faced with. xx
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Thank-you Picardie.girl
it’s nice to have a place to vent things like this! It’s great having a supportive partner to talk to but we can only go round in circles together so much! Nice to be able to just let it go somewhere else, to someone who is not involved 
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SUCH a dilemma. Be sure to keep us posted….
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It sure is
And I will do, thanks Mia x
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I’ve already posted, but I just wanted to say: Mia, over 1,000 posts!!! You’ve hit the jackpot
Congrats!
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It’s amazing isn’t it?! I was away for the weekend and tried to read this post on my iPhone (one of my favourite things to do over the weekend!) and kept getting annoyed that it WOULD JUST NOT WORK! I now realise it’s because there are SO many replies!
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Thank you…..has been amazing to watch the number of comments growing this week! And not one single comment deleted. So warm and fuzzy to watch the incredible support and nurturing of this community….
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Best – a lovely weekend with my gorgeous husband and our beautiful baby girl. She’s almost 7 months and it’s such a joy to see her explore and discover the world. We are so in love with her.
Worst – the end of my maternity leave is approaching with alarming speed. Am in a state of complete turmoil and anxiety at the thought of leaving baby girl in 7 weeks time as I feel as thought I’m going against every instinct in my body. I just want to be with her. Am trying to figure out if we can live without my income (which is quite comfortable) and survive solely on my husband’s. Would love to hear from others who have given up a good paypacket in order to be a stay at home mum and your experiences/tips. Thanks!!
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Me, I had exactly the same experience and finally decided not to go back to work.. It was the best decision I ever made. Its much harder for us money wise, but if you stick to a budget it can work.
Although, I have to admit that about 8 months later, I started to go a little stir-crazy being at home with a baby all day, so when my daughter was 2 I returned to work 2 days per week.. Is that an option for you?
Its a hard decision, Good Luck!
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I was going to return to full-time work in the public service 9 months after my baby was born but as the time neared I realised that it was the last thing I wanted to do and it made me feel sick and anxious (not to mention the organizational aspects of finding appropriate childcare for a little person five days a week). In the end I decided not to go back but like KayTea, I found myself getting a little itchy to do something after a while. But I found some casual work in my field that I could do from home – best of both worlds – able to keep my brain stimulated and bring in some money but also have a flexible arrangement and spend most of my time with my daughter. Whatever you do will work out – but just remember there are lots of options and you may be able to find other work eventuality and in the mean time just enjoy the simple things in life and budget! I think we realised that the things we enjoyed doing with our daughter were free anyway (going to the park, catching up with friends at someone’s house etc) and there was no more going out at night but that was fine too. I guess it is just about getting into a different rhythm. Anyway, best of luck with this decision!
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i was in the same boat too, we even had a daycare booked but at the last minute i resigned and cancelled her place. we have survived on my husband’s income, we are lucky. i have never for one second regretted that decision. i felt like it was going to kill me to hand her over so i knew i couldn’t do it. i know i will get my career back one day. the time with them is so short it really is only a few years, and you could also pick up some extra work out of hours if you needed extra cash, i have done a bit of work here and there.. goodluck with your decision
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From a different perspective – I went back to work when my daughter was 8 months old. In the lead up to going back I felt like you describe – like I was going against every instinct in my body. I was physically ill, couldn’t sleep and just so upset about it. But there was no other option available, I had to go back to work for us to pay the bills. That first day back was hard but when I got home and saw that she was alive and happy it all seemed to get much easier.
She’s now 17 months old and she spends part of her week in childcare, part with my mum, and I take a day off each week to be with her. She loves it! She is thriving and happy and such a delightful little kid and she gets really annoyed if I keep her home from childcare because I think she might be coming down with something.
So I guess I just wanted to say that whatever option you choose, you will find a way to make it work for your family. Going back to work feels like the end of the world, but most people I know who have been in this situation have actually found it worked out way better than expected.
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I completely agree with you Zoe2, my daughter is in the same arrangement and loves it. I too was sick at the thought of leaving her, lots of tears but now we are both happy.
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Thanks for the advice ladies…at the moment it looks like I’ll be heading back to work, for a trial run at least. I’ll give it a few weeks and if it’s just too painful then I’ll resign and we’ll work something out. That’s today’s decision anyway!
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Worst: My dodgy brother-in-law
Best: My garden
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Best: Last week in Melbourne (before starting 2-year working holiday in the UK) – finished up at work, big lunches and dinners with friends, packing, farewell drinks and a lot of facebooking. It’s taken only a week out of work for me to have lost all sense of rhythm and routine, hence my post being written at 3.30am Monday. Melbourne, I shall miss you dearly but London, here I come. Which brings me to my….
Worst: Wondering whether I will in fact make it to London this week. Having just said tearful goodbyes to everyone and mentally preparing for the move, this is messing with my head big time. But hey, I’m luckier than a lot of people who have been stranded by this volcano, people who have missed weddings and birthdays, who have been separated from family and loved ones for ages and who have been dying to come home. I’m not complaining.
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Best: Holding and kissing the man I love and feeling the rest of the world and all other thoughts melt away
Worst: coming home after an unproductive Friday afternoon and fighting traffic to find my internet and cable had been turned off cuz my roomie had not paid the bill.
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Worst: Having to face up to the consequences of something not done last week and also remaking the same mistakes and also trying to do things in ways that have time and time again been shown not to work.
Best: The family I do volunteer tutoring for, particularly the little boy I help (grade 1) who I have spelling ‘Phenomenology’ correctly because he kept complaining to me that his spelling list is too easy.
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? Why does he need tutoring then?
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Savannah, the kids that we help are refugees and migrants that live in the housing commission flats in Melbourne. The tutoring is as much about connecting the children and their families with support and interaction with people in the Australian community as it is helping them with their homework. We have bbq days and take them on field trips to the zoo and teach them how to kick a footy around. When some people come here they struggle with poverty, isolation and the stresses of being in a foreign country. We try to be warm and helpful.
The little boy that I tutor speaks fluent English and is very bright. Some of the students do very well and get scholarships to private schools but that is not the main aim nor expectation of the program, although the educational opportunities are certainly valued by the parents. It doesn’t make sense to kick the brighter students out of the program, because as I said that is not what it is about. The little boys first attempt to spell the word was something like ‘Fen…’ and he was thrilled with trying to understand what it means and about all the ways he ‘senses’ the world. He is not being ‘super-tutored’, I try and follow what he finds interesting and fun which is sometimes crocodiles and dinosaurs and sometimes spelling a really hard word.
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brilliant work mabol, good on you. there was a similar thing when i was growing up with vietnamese refugees. it must be rewarding work.
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Yes thankyou Rainbow,
It’s hard to know who gets the most benefit sometimes, us or the children and their families.
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Best1: successfully made brown rice sushi with avocado and smoked salmon to take to uni for dinner tomorrow. After teaching for 5 hours then having a uni class, it’ll be nice to have a scrummy dinner to look forward to.
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Best2: Just talked to my sister who scored her dream job/location. She’s done so much work this year to make this move and I’m so proud of her. It’s really inspiring.
Worst: Snapping at husband for dumb stuff. He’s such a goodie and I don’t know why I have to roll that way sometimes
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Have you checked the monthly calendar?
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That sushi sounds delish!!
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Best: Sorted out some important stuff for uni and handed in an assignment. Caught up with a mate I haven’t seen for ages. It’s also my 20th birthday today which is pretty special. Had a spectacular lunch at a beautiful restaurant with equally beautiful people
Worst: Stressing about uni stuff, feeling depressed and being sick.
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Worst: Horrible anxiety attack last night. Not even sure what brought it on.
Best: My wonderful husband who can see me at my very worst and love me anyway.
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MDW, I had the same thing happen a few weeks ago, and posted about it here. I was fine after a few days, but I think it was just trying to split my brain into so many pieces because I had a lot of things going on. Mostly good, so nothing to be anxious about, but clearly it was a little too much at one time for me! Hope you’re doing OK now!
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Thank you Rheds. Now that I look back I think it was definitley a case of a lot of little things and it was that last little thing that pushed me off the edge. I was fine the next day and I have definitley learned a lesson. Thanks for your support.
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Worst – hurt my back again – not badly, but badly enough that the reinstated fitness campaign is back on hold again…took my two months of procrastinating after the last back flare up to get back to it…so I see more procrastinating in my future!
Best and worst combined – huge gum tree branch fell into the middle of the driveway, right where my car is usually parked. Thank heavens we drove to a Thai place for dinner (because my back was sore!) and the car was spared a crushing! Also, any other branch would have been smack bang on a neighbors house – so thankful that it was our place that had to be cleaned up! Now to discover if the whole tree needs to come out…($$$)
Best – picnic lunch with my best friend and her three kids. Watching my husband take a three year old on a pony ride was priceless.
Kind of worst…reminded me how sad it is to meet your soulmate too late in life to have children together. I wouldn’t trade my two for anything in the world, but it’s my biggest regret that the love of my life and I won’t have that shared experience, and he’ll never get to experience fatherhood. (My kids were late teens when we met).
Still we have the dog…
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Oh I so understand your kind of worst…my dear love and I met late and I am unable to have kiddies and too old now to even consider doing IVF…through him I have three gorgeous stepchildren for which I am sooooo grateful. Would have loved to have one with him as well but it’s not to be. C’est la vie.
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Best: We went to a beautiful wedding.
Worst: nothing
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I love weddings. There was the most beautiful wedding in the ‘wedding of the week’ section of The Sunday Age today, for Victorian readers. So romantic.
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they’re the best arent they?
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Worst: Coming up to ‘that time of the month’ and knowing how unreasonable I sound, but not being able to shut up!
Best: Spending the entire weekend with my amazing (and understanding) fiance. Two nights in to spend talking, laughing and relaxing. I know he hates feeling like ‘he did nothing all weekend’, but I loved the once-in-a-lifetime weekend I got to enjoy.
A simple contribution, but it meant a lot to me.
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Worst: Had biggest meltdown about entire life and career
Best: SAved from myself by my best friend and a skype chat
More Worst: Cried like a baby about not getting an audition for a show coming up to the same bestie only to remember he has flown home to Canada from London as his dad is having seizures related to his cancer ( boy did i feel selfish and sheepish)
Last Best: He said it was nice to talk about someone elses problems and then he told me not to be a baby!
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Sorry to hear that Missamoo. What show is it?
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Oh HUGS you!
BB
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Best was going to Singapore on holidays…
Worst was being in Singapore on Orchard Road about to start shopping when I tripped over a 2mm height difference in the tiles and sliced my leg open in 2 spots… not the best way to start shopping
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Best: Husband has survived reading first 10 pages of my draft novel. This is good since I confessed to him that I had fallen deeply in love with at least two of the characters and I have been terribly nervous.
Worst: Being away from home and drinking too much red wine while I waited for him to let me know he’d started.
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Good luck with your novel!
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BEST: 14yo runaway son home again and seems happy, after lots of police drama early in the week. Being on a police-initiated curfew thankfully keeps him at home where he belongs. Hopefully he won’t end up in juvie after his court appearance next month. Saw him typing to friends on MSN that he wants to concentrate on his rugby league and doing the right thing. YAY!!!!! After all this time and worry. Not holding my breath that it’ll last forever, but it’s good while it does last.
BEST + WORST combined: Lunch with an old flame this week – very respectable, we didn’t rush off to a motel or anything. Haven’t seen him for 20yrs. Thank god for fat-sucking undies. It was beautiful, the spark is still there, and now I’m kicking myself even harder about marrying the wrong guy back then. Hugely wish I could change the past. Happy with great husband now (not the same wrong one as 20yrs ago), but very very sad about the love and life I could’ve had and missed out on. Maybe the Universe will put us together later when the time is right. Not that I want anything bad to happen to my husband at all, just that I recognise that the Universe is in charge, not me.
WORST: lots of community judgement from people about young offenders: “Don’t their parents care where they are? What is a 14yo doing out at night anyway?” Well yeah, I do care, but he ran away, so not much I can do about it. Obviously I would prefer he be safely at home. And he certainly wasn’t brought up to behave like this. Plenty of judgement about my apparently pathetic parenting but no solutions offered. Police, DOCS, counsellors, psychiatrists, tried them all, none have answers.
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I had a friend at school who was determined to be a terror. Private school, great parents (teachers), good friends, no personal dramas or reasons to be a terror. Yet still would run away, go find druggie mall rats to hang with, shoplift etc.
There was no logic too it, no ryhme no reason. Some people just seemed determined to find a family, background or pyschological reason. Or any reason. Sometimes it is as simple as ‘people do stuff, they just do’. Sometimes we spend so long searching for reasons or logic we miss the fact that people, teenagers espcially, aren’t always logical.
Good luck with him, honestly I know youve heard it a million times probably, but most kids just grow out of it. Not that you shouldnt try to stop it (of course you should) or minimise the damage they can do, but just take comfort the majority do grow out of it. : )
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Thanks Apples. Makes me feel better
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Good luck Janelle. I dread having teenagers! my mum had similar problems with my brothers at that age and she was a good mum.
Fingers crossed he finds his direction and walks an easier path.
Good luck and I’m sure you are a good mum
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Your son sounds like my friends brother. 8 Years ago times were tough for all, now he is he most wonderful man you could imagine. All the best for your family….
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Just spent the weekend discussing our boys with my friend…mines 14, hers is 16. Both good, gorgeous boys but hers apent all his time at school in deep trouble despite being a wonderful, polite, gorgeous boy at home. If I hadn’t know this woman for 30 years I would have thought that she was making up the school drama because I’ve known her son since birth and have never even seen him disrespectful let alone swear, throw desks and punch other students!!! All we can do is love and guide. My boy has his own dramas too – I still don’t GET boys but I do understand that it’s not always what is or isn’t happening at home that makes them act out. I think they just need to be able to work things out for themselves and we are there to help where we can. I’m so pleased for you that your boy is home and I hope that he is now ready to start heading in the right direction. Big hugs x x
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Thanks Patsii. You always have the right thing to say.
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My brother ran away lots of times when I was a kid…it was awful on everyone, esp my parents. I really feel for you. He too was ‘raised right’ and my parents got so much shit for his actions at church. It’s unfair the way it comes back on the parents.
A little advice, which you may have already done – I say this not to put more pressure on you but just something I experienced – if you have any other kids, be sure to give them a cuddle and let them know that they’re just as the important as the one who’s gone. Sometimes it feels like the prodigal kid gets all the attention and the ‘good kid’ sitting in the background can feel a bit taken for granted. It doesn’t take much – just a moment of time – because of course they’re also desperately worried and understand that you are responsible for finding their brother.
Best wishes to you and your family – I hope you’re all coping as well as can be.
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The daughter of friends was a wild child and into sex, drugs etc as a 13 and 14 year old. She was often gone all night and for a while left home to stay with a friend’s family. She was not interested in school. Finishhed school but was a bit all over the place for many years. In her late 20′s she went back to study, did a social work degree … went on to work with homeless youth, did volunteer work in a third world country and now in her 30′s has been sent to another third world country by an Aid Organisation. She will be there for 2 years and is hoping to do a Master’s. Such a wonderful turnaround. Would never have predicted it. But it was exceptionally hard for her parents during those wild years. She had a sibling who was the perfect good child. Parents got heaps of judgement.
I love it when people looking in think they have all the answers. Anyway good luck and hang in there. There is not a lot you can do except be patient, wait and give unconditional love and support while getting support and love for yourself too. x x x
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Best: My mum got her first ‘new’ (3 years old second hand, 2007 model one previous owner. In our family, that’s new!) car in 15 years (and even that car was second hand). She has been researching, saving and wanting this car for 5 years. The model she bought second hand wasnt even out when she first started looking at this car!
She’s one of those mums that never buys or does anything for herself. She’s just so happy, the big trip we did to some tiny regional town dealer several hours away who was offering the best deal (Mum is one hell of a shopper) was great fun. Mum has had some tough times lately and often felt like nothing was going her way. Love that new car smell (this thing must have been barely driven, it still smells new!).
Worst: Friend struggling with career direction. In a dead end job no idea what they want to do and how to get a better job. Taking frustration out on everyone else. Feel very sorry for them but sympathy beginning to fray a little under the strain of their frustration after several months.
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That’s so lovely. Good on your Mum, hope she enjoys zipping around town in her new wheels.
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I’ve been away for work and missed last week…gotta back track….
Best: Getting out of the office and driving around the North Island of NZ and it was all for work. Good times..
Worst: Saying goodbye to a work collegue who was retrenched…I’ll miss her and I hope that she finds the window that has surely opened for her.
BTW anyone who was in Sydney today – how beautiful was it!! Today was one of those days where it was good to be alive!
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Best: moments of pure happiness when everyone you love is safe and happy and there isn’t a single thing you’d change.
Worst: found out my partner’s mother hates me (which I suspected), but my boyfriend was so lovely and supportive about it that I think it might bring us closer together. Don’t know what I’m going to do about his mum though…
(obviously point A came before point b!)
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Your boyfriend sounds much more stable than his mother, which is great for you. Can’t always judge people by their relatives, thank goodness.
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Having been hated by my mother in law for years and years ….the best advice I can give you …. don’t forget who you are and that your boyfriend loves you and try to maintain your integrity, if she gets down and dirty. She may change but if she doesn’t, don’t let her estimation of you have an impact on how you feel about yourself.
My late mother in law was pure evil and in the latter years of her life she had a devastating impact on me. My husband was supportive but we were both often left reeling from the stuff she did. She was a woman who was a great hater. On reflection she hated me the minute she saw me. It was really distressing as I had done nothing except say hello. But I was 19 and pretty and seemed in her eyes to have it all and I think she was jealous. No one has it all and now 40 years later … she is long gone and I’m not a pretty 19 year old and it was all such a bloody waste of time and energy!
Keep your integrity and get support and leave it as her problem not your’s. Good luck! x x
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Thanks so much guys. You’re both completely right (of course! hehe), and it helps knowing I’m not the only one!
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Worst: was sick this week so missed a few days of uni and now am stressed about things coming up next week!
Worst 2: my wisdom teeth hurt!
Worst 3: not seeing the bf much coz he has lots of uni assignments
Best: not going to uni, ahh relaxing!
Best 2: going to see Fame with my friend
Best 3: being excited about going to Thailand with my friend next year, and starting to save and going to get my passport soon!
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Get those wisdom teeth out honey! The only regret I had with mine, was that I was too chicken, and waited too damn long to have the surgery!
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I really want to leave 2 comments so that I get to be number 1000, but that would be cheating…
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Frankie, I think you are number 1000!
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Best: Comedy Festival show, brilliant nite out with tons of laughs
Worst: Sinking feeling about 3-year r’ship. Problem is, there’s nothing ‘wrong’. He truly is the most perfect partner, but am just not feeling the ‘click’ happening and am now so confused I can’t remember if it ever did happen or if I just imagined it. Struggling to admit it to anyone so therefore haven’t been able to talk about it. Sorry lovely MMers, consider yourselves ‘dumped upon’ by me
Love to all those with happy bests and awful worsts xxx
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That’s what we’re here for – have to be able to tell someone x
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Dump away! Heck, I do all the time!
Can you (gently) talk to the bf about it maybe?
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Thanks ladies, your responses are very much appreciated
We have talked about it a little bit recently, but I suppose my dilemma is figuring out whether this is a lull or ‘just the way things are’. Know what I mean? A lull is ok, life is full of ebbs and flows. But the thought of this being the way it is, or the way we are, troubles me… How to know the difference??!!
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Worst: Dickhead client wasting my time and making me stress even though I am in the right. Unprofessional agencies not knowing how to run their businesses. Not enough work. As a result, having to refinance my car loan and pay a truckload more interest over the extended period.
Best: Lovely girls actually doing a great job this weekend – makes a nice change from recent weeks / months. Writing is progressing, and starting to feel natural again. Waking up fairly early most days this week feeling energised. Afternoon naps. Having kitty custody all week with lots of snuggles. Biggest Loser finale tonight!
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I didn’t have a best til this arvo, so I’ve been putting off posting, but now I do.
Best: a couple of quiet ones and a lot of Ben Harper. Doing good things for my psyche.
Worst: Mr Clare away for the weekend with work and missing him muchly. We’ve spent far too much time apart the last couple of months. But it will get us out of a bit of a financial hole. The financial hole is another worst, we just seem to be shitting money at the moment.
Trivial worst: last ever snake man show at La Perouse today. Every time we go back to Sydney we mean to take the snake mad child, and every time something else has come up. And now it’s all over. Sads.
Love to all, I’ve been a bit head in the sand this week, but am thinking of you allxxxxx
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best – the birth of my baby girl. Didn’t know what I was having, to be told she was a girl blew me away as i was positive it was another boy.
best #2 – watching my son meet his sister.
worst – labour, establishing breasfeeding. And something stupid my husband did that im not going into detail about, suffice to say he was in big trouble.
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Hey meljb, congrats on your bubby – you just gave me major deja vu as I was convinced Ms 3 was a boy all through my pregnancy, and watching Mr 4.5 meet her (we were lucky enough to have him in the room with us) was a big highlight for me too.
Good luck with your breastfeeding, I know how hard it can be to get it all going. Ring the ABA hotline, those women are lifesavers, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
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Congratulations
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Congratulations meljb and welcome little miss meljb!
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Congrats love – a sweet baby girl; how divine!
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Congratulations!! How gorgeous. I have a boy who is 6 and a girl who is 2, they are hilarious together – it only gets better (I hope) before it gets worse (teenagers). Enjoy this special time and I hope breastfeeding sorts itself out. Agree with the ABA advice if you have difficulties. Hugs!
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Congratulations, lovely to have one of each
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Congrats, how wonderful for you all
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Woo Hoo! Congratulations! Look after you now too, OK?
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Congratulations Meljb! Keep sticking with the feeding, hopefully it sorts itself out. What a lovely time in your life xox
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How exciting, what a lovely surprise. Congrats!
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Best: I got a distinction for my first assessment piece for my Masters… it’s motivated me a little for my second piece.
Worst: had too much to drink last night and got a bit messy
must stay away from white wine! Boyfriend and friends were lovely though, I really appreciate having people like that in my life.
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Best: My massage on Friday. It was a remedial one and the therapist was sensational. Magic hands. Feel so much better already. With 3 kids hanging off me, I’ll be back very soon!
Worst: the hangover I have this morning thanks to mixing drinks last night. Bubbles, wine and oh wait bourbon !!
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Best – went shopping yesterday for new work pants and picked up a pair of size 12′s only to not fit into them anymore. I went back and picked up a size 10 and they fit perfectly
This is a HUGE achievement for me because I was almost 25kg overweight until last year when I put my head down and lost the weight over a period of 12 months. To go from a size 18 to a size 10 makes me feel so much better about myself. Yippee.
Best – just did my laundry after procrastinating about it for over 24 hours!
Best – seeing friends over the weekend – was nice to catch up over thai and nice wine
Best – getting a good start on the book I’m wanting to write. I usually write plays but thought I would try my luck at writing my first book
Best – Looking forward to watching the biggest loser tonight and seeing how much weight all the contestants have lost
Worst – hmm being stuck at work all week when I’d rather be outside or doing other things!
Worst – it’s Monday tomorrow!
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I can’t wait for the biggest loser either!
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Rose, you’ve inspired me twice in two minutes! You dropped all that weight and now you are in a size 10 pair of pants?!?! WOW GIRL! Good for you, I’m currently busting out of my size 16 jeans and feeling frumpy and horrible and lazy – I’m a size 18 on top – and it’s just so nice to hear that it CAN be done, weight can be transitory!!
Nice to meet you, Rose
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I remember how I felt at the beginning of my weight loss journey and it just feels so far away. You just have to believe in yourself and keep going even when you feel like giving up. I believe that weight loss is much more a mental journey and the physical transformation is just a huge bonus!
I know you can do it Mel
I believe in you! Just start off slow with a walk around the block before dinner and as soon as you start to see the little changes in your body, the results on the scale and that your fitness has improved you will be so much happier. I know that I am. I am so happy that I kept persevering because it is just so worth it.
I’d love to know how you go! Best of luck Mel
xx
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Good luck with your book! How exciting
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Congrats On the wonderful weight loss- It can be a real Slog especially when you feel that its not getting any better. Just remember the moments like these when your sick of sticking to your diet/ excersise program xx
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worst: no motivation for uni and not sure if I want/can be an english high school teacher (all in lower case because I’m still unsure)…wondering how it would feel to drop out. having a real crisis over it all.
best: family and the love of my kids was felt very strongly this week and that gets me through.
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Sounds like you’re just nervous about becoming a teacher. An English teacher is hard work but just think of the positive role you will have in these kids lives. My English teacher opened me up to a world of possibilities – Shakespeare and my love of reading which hasn’t diminished since High School.
Keep going – it will be well worth it
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Thanks Rose, that’s really lovely to read. Thank you heaps!
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me too mel, I remember my high school english teacher as an amazing woman who really started me thinking about learning rather than just sitting in the class room.
You’re amazing for even doing uni with kids – it feels beyond me. If you can take on a teaching degree while caring for kids, you can do anything (even be a teacher!!).
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My High School English teacher changed my life too. She took me to Zeffirelli’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and set me on my career path. Will never forget her…just sayin’
PS And I agree with Kerryn. English teaching will be easy peasy after Uni with kids
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Wow 945 responses and counting, is this a record for a blog on mamamia??
Mia what is the highest commented story so far on your blog??
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worst: drowning in uni work and the frustration of my casual job. not feeling loved blah blah. whingy week for me.
best: discovery of almond butter! planning on going to splendour! having a four day weekend every week.
i am honestly thinking of everyone with their tough worsts…hopefully this week is the start of a turnaround for you
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The splendour line up is amazing this year. I wish I had the luck to get tickets/the time to make it up to byron to attend. fingers crossed a few of the acts do some side shows in Melbourne.
Good luck getting tickets
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It’s in Qld this year instead of Byron and yes, the lineup is amazing.
If only I had someone to look after the three kids for a few days……
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Worst: Nothing much, just that niggly flat feeling of “holidays over, school and new term starting soon and lots to do”
Best: Had a lovely holiday break, a week at my parents house, where I got to sleep and my boys were lovingly spoiled and played with. Got to do some shopping (got some great op shop finds) and even managed the dreaded bra shopping (amazing what you can get done when the kids are with their grandparents!).
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Hi Bookworm! Great news you got a break. I LOVE op shops (small addiction). Was looking out for your post for any updates on Mr 5?
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Aw thanks Twitchy! It’s nice not to feel anonymous.
Mr 5 had a hearing test which came back fine, and his teacher is still very keen for him to get a paediatric assessment when school goes back. So nothing much has happened yet…..that was part of my flat feeling I guess, knowing I’ve got all that and dealing with his teacher coming up. I’m going to get him assessed, and have a meeting with his teacher in which I’m going to ask her to tell me some positive things about my son (will be good practice for her I think) lol. And if I’m feeling brave I’ll point out that I do think his reactions to his father are valid and normal, and she needs to take them more seriously.
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Have already been tbrough all of this and the rollercoaster of emotions that goes with it. As this is not an ASD support site I am happy for you to (somehow, someone pleaze tell me – Lana?) contact me directly if you want more details or support. That goes for anyone else reading who suspects their child is heading down this road and needs some back up. There are some truly wonderful professionals out there and some truly clueless ones. The hardest part is feeling lost, alone and a ‘bad’ parent. My best wishes to you x
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Twitchy you’re a legend. We had a rough time a while ago where Mr Clare and I thought independently of one another that maybe our boy was going to fall somewhere on the high end of the ASD – turned out he was having an adverse reaction to an asthma medication but it was a pretty sad and scary time for us. I wish I’d had someone to confide in at that point. Good on you xxx
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Thanks so much Twitchy you’re awesome! And yes, if it was possible to exchange emails somehow I’d love that…:-)
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Twitchy, Bookworm
Drop me an email at lana@mamamia.com.au and I will wave my magic wand (or just put you in touch with each other and call it magic)
xxx
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What is ASD please
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autistic spectrum disorder
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Thank-you. I googled and found it. My little niece has dyspraxia and is struggling. It’s so difficult to know what to do. She is having all the help apparently.
What a good Mum you are bookworm. Hope Mr 5′s teacher improves!
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Best and worst in no particular order: 15 year old cat warming my back as I type.
40th Birthday celebration of a good friend and only coming home about an hour ago (3am ish).
Daughter rowed exceptionally at 8am this morning. Looking more like a rower than a cox (she’s great at both). Son got ‘whipped’ at rugby after a one and a half hour drive starting at 6.30am. Still quite happy and enjoyed Maccas afterwards! Went to local markets – remarkable!! Def back there next week (with shopping trolley. Security system stuffed up (renovation!!!) who needs a builder to your house at 7pm – who wants to be your builder??? Grandmother and Grandchildren – as the ad says ‘priceless’ – thank Grandmother is not $20 an hour – and she irons! Reading this; overall priceless – luckiest girl in the city I live in!
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Quite an achievemant to be a cox and a good rower! Cox’s tend to be light and you usually need to be quite strong to be a good rower, the two don’t usually compute, good for her!
I don’t envy you the early mornings, my mum was happy to support me in any sport but I do think the switch to an afternoon sport was not exactly unappreciated!
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Yes! You are right. My daugher has had quite a growth spurt since last season (they row in winter). Last year she was cox for grade 8 and 9; she is the positive sort when it comes to encouragement. However, she’s much bigger and stronger this year, and she’s training as much as she can. Fingers crossed she will be as good a good a rower as she was a cox!
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worst: don’t want to write bout it so i’ll just put a sad face.
.
best: becoming closer to a friend. oh how he makes me laugh!
looove x
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I hope your
turns in to a 
soon!
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thanks so much MellyBunny!
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Hugs for your worst and smiles for your best x
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Worst #1: Being grumpy about work interfering with Uni. The whole point was to earn money to pay off my credit card but not at the expense of stress and grumpiness…
Worst #2: Working the last 3 days and hardly seeing my boyfriend. He has spent all afternoon with friends and is now out drinking and I’m ready to go to bed (work again tomorrow). I wish he had decided to come home earlier to spend a bit of time with me and now I’m feeling a bit down.
Best #1: Reading a night-time story to my 4yo and 6yo future step-cousins. They are so gorgeous and make me happy
Best #2: Being able to read mamamia.com.au when it’s quiet at work – I think i have managed to read all 914 comments on this post! I love you guys
Hugs and kisses to all those who need it this week!
xoxo
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Im havin the exact same thing Alice! Remember the jobs just a job and Uni is whats important
At least thats what Ill be telling myself when my employer cracks it at me hehe x
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Woah – 906 comments, exponential growth, crazy!!!
Best: reading the entire Nigella Feasts paperback while at a Tupperware Party today. Free babysitting and some food, no Tupperware I had to buy and some reading of my best friend cook Nigella.
Worst: Going to Ikea on Sunday on the last day of school holidays for a kid’s bed I thought we *had* to have by yesterday because of a broken old bed. Haven’t been to Ikea for years and it was a mini panic attack!
An aside: I don’t know how to upload a photo of me in this new format. Thought it might help with the loneliness, all those comments with no face or pretty picture! Also, we could do a blog entry where we all upload a photo of us or our family so that you (Mia) can do a bit of putting the name with the face and feel a bit more connected to us your loyal servants!!!!
xx
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Nup! One of the joys of this blog is that it is ananoymous. Even my close friends don’t know how much you do!!!
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Nup! One of the joys of this blog is that it is anonoymous. Even my close friends don’t know how much you do!!!
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Bad idea to put photos and too much info öut”there on the internet.
You never can be too careful
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Using an avatar works though – without losing your anonymity!
You can upload your avatar pic by signing up for wordpress (www.wordpress.com ?) without actually having your own blog xoxo
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Worst: My Grandma passed away on Tuesday morning. She went down hill last weekend and couldn’t fight any more. We had her funeral yesterday. I read Aaron’s Blessing, which I read at Grandad’s funeral too and I know she loved it. We’re going to miss you so much Grandma xx
Best: Seeing Grandma last Sunday when she was lucid. I made her a photo album which she loved, and she adored seeing my son. We had a cuddle and I told her that I loved her. It’s a nice last memory of her.
Thinking of everyone this week.
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I am so sorry for the loss of your grandma Sea. I just lost mine and I wished I could have seen her before she died, but it was sudden. Wishing you all the best, and my sympathy too. x
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Sorry to hear about your Grandma.You’re fortunate to have had some time with her and you can treasure that memory xx
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*hugs* So sorry Sea. xoxo
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your fam SEA. Your best is so touching – those last memories are precious; you’ll never forget them xox
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Worst: Mentally prepared for big operation and all that entails and then it was cancelled. Meant that I sat around in the attractive hospital gown, stockings, booties and those undies for nothing!!!
Second worst: Men, when you are dressed as per above can you please keep your legs closed.
Best: Gives me more time to get in even better shape for the op.
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They cancelled it WHILE you were in hospital ready?? I knew surgery got cancelled often, but not that they did it when you were there and in the gown etc! You poor thing.
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Best: totally shallow but…. my husband commenting that I look like I have lost some weight. I have been trying hard to eat well and have been getting to the gym 3 – 4 times a week, so it was nice to have him notice.
Plus our Paypal hacking drama from last week has finally been sorted and we have our $1100 back – yay!
Worst: feeling very disconnected from my best girlfriends – we all live far apart and I worry that we will never get back to the way our friendship was when we all lived in the same city.
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I sont think its shallow, I think its great for self esteem. I was really annoyed for the first few months of working out my boy said he couldnt tell the diff because we live together and its hard to see and then recently hes seen it and complemented me. Makes a huge diff to your self esteem and makes you want to continue on because your getting results
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Great to hear your bests, and from what I’ve heard PayPal are great at fixing up any probs that arise..more companies should be like this!!
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Got married on Sunday – that was a pretty good best
. No worsts after that one.
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WOOHOO!! What WONDERFUL news MrsT! Congratulations, may you live a full, most wonderful life together! x
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Hooray! And a new username to boot… Wishing you a lifetime of love and laughter xox
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Congratulations!
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congrat xx
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congrats
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Congratulations! I’m glad you had a wonderful day
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Wonderful news! congratulations and every happiness to you.
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Thanks for all the warm fuzzies
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Congratulations Mrs T!!
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Congrats MrsT!
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Congratulations Mrs T! I’m so glad your day finally arrived. I hope it fulfilled all your dreams xo
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Best: Toss up between my hubby telling me that he’s proud of how I’ve been during this pregnancy, and he expected me to be far more emotional (awesome, considering how much I sobbed on his shoulder earlier this week); & cuddling a work friend’s 2 day old baby before heading home from work today.
Worst: 8 weeks left of work just seems far too long…
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Your hubby sounds like a gem; I bet he’ll make a great Daddy
PS When I read the words “2 day old baby”, I swear I could almost smell that newborn smell in the air. My (childless) partner and I call them “freshies”. We’ve been known to walk through shopping centres saying “Look! There’s a freshie!” to each other. (Gee, we’re not clucky at all, are we??)
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Worst- Nutty cousin staying. How do I even begin- the calling my kids F***in C**ts continually because they make noises and are both sick and vomiting. Or maybe the telling me I could pay for lunch because he paid the $16 for the car park in Sydney I drove him to and waited in the car for 1.5 hrs with two kids while he went to the bank. Or was it the yelling at my 3 year old because she didn’t flush the toilet( she can’t reach).
Better still coming into my work and commenting I bet everything in here is a f**kin rip off in this s**thole town. In fornt of a shop full of people and my boss. And that is just touching the surface.
Best- Not really getting that annoyed with him. He has had a very hard life( he grew up in our family as his mum bashed him and his dad didn’t want him) he has no friends and he has zero people skills.( he does have a mexican wife) and he inherited kidney disease of his darling mother so is on dialysis. After seeing him do it for a week I only feel compassion. He has travelling here with 15 teddies and calls them his family. So sad. Imagine having no one like you. Not understand why. Someone has to be nice to him so it has to be me.
Best-2 He has left to live in Melbourne due to his AFL Collingwood obsession. Thank god he isn’t a NRL fanatic.
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WOW! You’re an absolute saint amandarose! Although I must say, I did feel a touch more compassion for your cousin when I read your ‘best’ to the end.
I hope you’ve decided to save your kidney for your children though? Yes, he’s had a hard life but still….You have your own family to protect and be there for.
Here’s to a better week to follow! x
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No decisions yet. We have different blood groups so I doubt we would match anyway( altough in Melbourne they have this new way of doing it so a match isn’t as important). He will go on the waiting list. If it reaches a point where it is urgent I will re think it. I lost alot of sleep over it when he first asked. I feel rather pocessive of my internal organs- the idea of my nice happy kidney living in such an annoying individual makes me squirm. Let alone the fear of surgery and what if my sister or kids need it one day.
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What a caring, compassionate person you are to even consider such a donation. What if you need it? We were gievn two for a reason, and you are still young.
I can understand his anger at life, and hitting out at everything in frustration, jealousy, anger, in the hand he was dealt. It is a pity he does not realise what a special person he has in his life in you.
As an aside, I have an uncle who has been on dialysis for several years, and although it has changed his lifestyle, he is still alive and enjoying his family. He has several children, and would never countenance them giving him a kidney.
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Never thought I would hear myself say this…but thank god for AFL!! I have a “nutty” person in my family as well and it has been ever so peaceful since she left. May they live a happy AFL filled life in Victoria
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If he is coming down my way (Melb) please tell him he cannot have my kidney…. : )
I remember your other cousin/brother post! Glad you are getting some peace.
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so that would have been the nutter i passed coming home tonight then! this is the only downside of living so close to the MCG…
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Best and Worst 1: While having a long quiet soak in the bath, hubby took the opportunity to come and say that he realises that he really is depressed and suffering badly with anxiety attacks. He’s agreed to go to the docs and get some help.
Best 2: Hubby getting a little lift with having gone and speaking to the doc and organising referrals and meds.
Best 3: Having a great nursing shift today and getting to work with one of my favourite work friends and catching up on all the goss.
Best 4: Reading Lyndals words and having a good cry and remembering past losses and appreciating my children.
Worst 2: Hubby having adverse reactions to meds (which are common and hopefully only short term) which of course is making him wonder whether they are worthwhile.
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I also wanted to extend best wishes to all of those doing it tough at the moment too.
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Aprils_fools, depression meds are possibly the hardest thing to deal with when you are the patient, treat your husband with patience and love for a few weeks, eventually the man you fell in love with will be back and you can deal with what is going on.
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Ohhhh..I know, we’ve been down this route before. I’d just forgotten about this pesky getting used to it stage. Thank you so much for your support.
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Sending you the best of best wishes. Hope hubby is on the improve soon. And I hope you are getting enough rest and support too.xxxxx
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Thanks Nana
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Best: Good work week – for a change, a lovely family dinner for my Mum’s Birthday and starting on Jodi Picoult’s new book =)
Worst: My boyfriend dropped some bombshells, which at the time, sounded like we were making progress in our relationship. After seven years together he was actually starting to talk about marriage and babies (without freaking out!). So he says to me on Saturday night that I need to start thinking about whether I want to buy house this year and travel next year or vice versa. My response was to buy a house and travel as our honeymoon when we eventually get married. Upon me saying this he tells me no he wants to travel this year! I just have to add that he gave ME the choice to make as we have always done what HE wants to do. So he has tried to trick me in to getting his own way but making me think I’m finally getting something I want! He now thinks I’m pushing him in to getting married which, after seven years, I think is bullshit!! If, at 28 and seven years together, he feels “rushed” now I’m wondering if he will ever not feel rushed and “be ready!” I am so confused and angry at the moment I just don’t know what to do because the sensible part in me tells me to just give up and walk away because he will never be ready but my heart tells me to stay because he is the one for me and I love him. Does anyone have a crystal ball that will tell me if I should run for the hills or stick it out?
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Oh God what an awful dilemma you are in. I think that he should know after 7 years, but on the other hand some men are extremely slow and some wait such a long time that they lose great women like yourself due to procrastination. Best of luck!
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No crystal ball sorry, but can share a couple of experiences which may help you know you’re not alone with this dilemma! When I was in my mid 20s my five year relationship came to an end when my boyf told me he felt like was being ‘rushed’ into a long term commitment. When I pushed and said could he see us getting married he said he didn’t know. That was it for me – it was over. HOWEVER there were other factors that influenced this decision (questions of fidelity anyone???). Another close friend waited for 10 years for the proposal..instead got the ‘no ring, no kids’ speech – now she’s trying to work out how to have a baby on her own…not fun at all. Sometimes like Happymum says though – it’s male procrastination….good luck, I hope it works out for you.
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I agree with Mrs M, leave. You have spent 7 years together. I was with my partner for a month & we were talking babies, he was 26 & I was 25. We had our first within 2 years. I can understand how hard it would feel to leave, after 7 years, with probably heaps of happiness. But if you have totally different outlooks on life, that don’t gel, and haven’t in 7 yrs, perhaps you could have a trial separation for 12 months. Go out and find out who you are, go travelling overseas yourself, go and live it up. Be who you want to be & make decisions for yourself that don’t involve him manipulating you. Good luck xx
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HI Queeny83 – like your best as have the new Jodi Picoult sitting next to my bed and is next in line to be read!
With your worst – maybe see if your bf will do some counselling together – then you can be sure you are not tossing the baby out with the bathwater? It also helps clarity with communication whether you end up running for the hills or staying with him? Good luck xoxo
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Just for another perspective, I was with my husband for 13 years before we had our 1st baby (14 till we got married). He was a massive procrastinator/committment phobe. He was always kind and loving though, so I stuck it out & he couldn’t be more committed/hands on dad etc if he tried. 100% the right decision for us, but I’d hesitate before telling you to do the same as it’s a pretty big gamble. Good luck xx
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I was with my now fiance for 7.5 years until he popped the question. Exactly like you, he kept telling me he felt pressured, wasn’t ready etc… And I spent a long time wondering whether to stay or go.
2 weeks after he turned 30, he decided he was ready.He couldn’t articulate it before then (and I don’t think he realised it), but while he was in his 20s he felt that he was too young for marriage, but the instant he turned 30 he changed his mind. I’ve since met several other couples where the same thing happened – he hit the big 3-0 and decided he was ready.
We’re getting married later this year – I’ll be 28 and he’ll be 32 (just).
Only you can know if it’s right, but I;m sure you’ll have a lot of pressure from people telling you it’s been too long, he’ll never ask etc… (I certainly did). As best as you can, ignore those people and trust your gut.
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Me again, I just wanted to add that if he’s condidering buying a place with you, he obviously sees you having a long term future together. So I’d say it’s not you he’s worried about, it’s just marriage in general.
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You sound like me about 6 months ago. I’ve been with my boyfriend 8 years and really, really wanted to get married. To him getting married isn’t a big thing, and said he wasn’t really ‘ready’ anyway.
Then I had a life changing moment when he had to look after me for 8 months of my life, I mean showering me, feeding me, helping me in and out of bed, changing bandages, bathing my wounds etc.
He did the worlds best job, better than most nurses would’ve.
I suppose my perspective changed a little. He did more for me than any of my friends husbands would, and I decided that being married and having that piece of paper doesn’t mean that much to me anymore.
As Oprah says I had my ‘uh huh’ moment.
I hope you figure out what is best for you, no one else is in your situation and so can’t really tell you what to do!
Although I do hope that you have an ‘u huh’ moment (somewhat less dramatic than mine) soon!
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that’s so beautiful Madcass, you’re a very lucky woman
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Oh Queeny83, you sound like you’re in a similar position to me. I can’t wait to get married and start a family (I’m 29 and so is my boyf) and have known for a long time that he is the ‘one for me’ – but he’s not sure. This was dropped into a bombshell conversation and it floored me.
But as I posted a few weeks back, he decided to get some counseling and it has been great. It’s opening up our communication lines, and in a few weeks time we’ll go together to a session. I think it can only be a positive step in the right direction to clarify things, and if by chance we are just at different stages in our lives, I can (and will) walk away knowing I gave it my all.
Sending you lots of hugs! x
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Best: Getting through a lot of work this week. For once I didn’t feel like I was going round in circles.
Worst: Despite getting through lots of work, it doesn’t end. I realised I’ve been reading the same book for 7 months & am only half way through, because I just don’t have the time for anything. I kind of feel like I’m disappearing in ‘to do’ lists and not really living?? Maybe I need more exciting lists??
Love to all those doing it tough this week. xx
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Totally sympathise with your ‘worst’ Mellymoo. Unfortunately I find myself thinking of the amazing things I want to do and start writing a list of them and totally defeating the purpose! Hope you get your mojo firing soon xo
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