Dear Medicare,
Over the past decade I’ve had more people peer up my vagina than I care to remember. Mostly with my husband by my side holding my hand. At first he was awkward about it, he would nervously look at the ultra sound screen, or my face, or even the photos on the wall, but never down between my legs where my doctor or scientist or nurses had their heads. Eight years later he’s a total pro, he is practically an expert, mainly on my reproductive system, but I have no doubt in the case of someone else’s vagina emergency he would know what to do.
You see Medicare, I have spent my 30s trying to make a family but have been mostly unsuccessful. My husband and I have a 100 per cent failure rate when it comes to IVF. We often high five our awesome accurateness at not achieving a pregnancy through it, and the ‘F’ word is banned in our house. FERTILE…it’s a F-ilthy word to me because I am so very very tired of the sadness, and heartbreak, and other men who are not my husband peering up my vagina.
Only last month, after another failed round of IVF, I finally had the courage to share my despair. I introduced my followers to the May edition of Gerard and Emily’s un-excellent infertility adventure. I want to share it with you Medicare in the hope you may understand the repercussions of your possible decision to cut rebates for women over 35.
This little cell of hope was put in me, and my long-suffering aforementioned husband joked that it had my eyes and his nose. We also joked that this little dot of dreams would have the middle name of May. After the month we’d conceived and my beautiful Nana Mavis who was gentle and kind, attributes I’d hoped this part of my DNA would have. Even if it were a boy we laughed it would still be May. I also felt this was the one. Gerard was home within an hour before the transfer to hold my hand.
Last transfer he was away overseas. We’d Face-timed during that transfer, hilariously his two mates were with him on the other end of the line. Their faces beamed into the transfer room and they got a bit of a shock when they saw more of me than they would normally want, but after 10 years of fertility treatment, what’s another few faces in the room when my legs are akimbo. They wished me luck and I wondered if this would be the fun story we would tell our future child, that seven people were there that day. A doctor, a scientist, a nurse, your daddy, his two mates and me all hoping, wishing and praying you into existence. It wasn’t, so I really felt this would be the one.
Top Comments
There are more important things to include in Medicare than IVF. Dental is still really expensive and an infected tooth can kill.
Babywant isn't going to kill you.
I know I'm late to the discussion here. I'm a 30 year old male that reads this website to get a gage on the a feminist thinking surrounding certain news topics.
This one baffles me. I'm all for women in their early and late 20s building a career and holding off marriage and children till later in life. The truth is though that biologically women have a better chance of falling pregnant within these years (according to a study that I read based on age and fertility). Having said that, why should I pay my taxes toward another persons lifestyle choices. its weird, we seem to be at a time when women are starting to realise that they cannot "have it all" and that pursuing a career in your 20s may mean you miss out on a family. And I know what you are probably thinking, but men biological do not have this problem.
Not trying to come off as misogynist. Seriously I am not. I honestly don't understand this.
Here's the thing. The vast majority of women haven't put off having children because their careers are so awesome that they want to do it much later on in life. All of the women that I know who are in the second part of their 30s and don't have children are in that situation because they've not found a partner. Most of them would very dearly love to have a husband / boyfriend / father to their children, but there are very few single men of a similar age and station in life who want the same thing. I'm in no way blaming guys for this, I am just saying that women aren't holding off having children because their careers are high flying, it's because they haven't found a partner.
But everyone doesn't have a right to have children - or in the case of this article, multiple children. What if there are men in the situation you describe; should the government be expected to somehow subsidise their attempts to have children?
To answer that, I think the main reason IVF is federally funded in many developed countries - is because unlike many other medical conditions - an IVF baby turns into an adult who will more than pay back the original funds, and I guess it is better for the government to encourage women into high salaried careers as that will also increase tax revenue. So it is kind of a long term revenue
I can see why they would want to put limits on the amount of cycles at certain ages as its a pure statistics thing, although I really feel deep empathy with any couple going through this struggle.