By LISA ALMOND
But, no, instead I’m a POAT (partner-of-a-tradie).
As a long-term POAT (yeah that’s so not going to catch on) let me tell you that being the other half of a tradie is no walk in the work site. I would take glamourous promotional dinners and awards nights over work overalls and steel cap boots any day.
Anyone considering the nearest construction site as potential dating service just keep the following in mind.
Your house will never be finished, ever.
Here’s the ratio at my house. 1 sparky to 10, yes I’ve counted them, 10 lights that do not work in my house. That’s not to mention my air conditioner that’s broken and my dish washer that is currently sitting on my front deck, useful huh. Tradies never bring their work home. Or rather they don’t DO work at home. Period.
There’s also another problem, when tradies attempt to do tradie work in a trade they are not qualified in. Cue flooded bathroom from leaking shower, unfinished flooring in living room and wall painted in undercoat – for six months.
Tradies assume they can fix anything around the house because they are a tradie. FYI to all tradies – YOU CAN’T.
And besides all tradies know other tradies, just ring your plumber mate to fix the flooded bathroom, the missus will appreciate it I promise.
Two words: Early riser.
Dating a tradie is like dating a personal trainer. Or so I imagine, I’ve never actually dated a personal trainer. They are used to getting up early. They even like getting up early. A Saturday sleep-in doesn’t exist. Sleep-ins in general do not exist.
Some work days his alarm goes off at 4.30am! 4.30am! That’s still the freakin’ middle of the night.
He even gets up early on days he doesn’t even have to go to work. Why? Just why? Who DOES that? Tradies, that’s who.
If we both happen to be home on the same morning and I sleep till 7 (shock horror) he looks at me like I’ve slept till midday and wasted an entire day. Yeh babe, I haven’t, it’s still only 7am.
The day ends at 3. EVERY day.
Officer workers finish at 5, sometimes 6, they get home and cook dinner, do house work and then eventually around 8 or so they start winding down for the night. Tradies do not.
A tradies day finishes at 3. Any day ending in ‘y’ finishes at 3pm. They do not function after 3pm. Weekends included.
If you want something done (i.e. your electrician partner to fix a light) make sure you tell them before 3pm. They will not hear you if you ask later than that. The likelihood of them completing the task is minimal at best and it’s even less if you ask them outside working hours.
Family and friends will hassle you constantly.
“Oh … your partner’s a sparky, awesome.”
Me in my head: “No actually he’s a marine biologist, do you have a sick pet dolphin you want him to help?”
Me in reality: “Yes, do you need a job done?”
So here’s the thing. Tradies have diaries. Work diaries so they know what they have to do each day. Requests from family and friends don’t make it to the diary and therefore rarely get completed (see point one – 10 non working lights in my house at present).
And because he’s the one off working sooo hard and he’s soo busy your family and friends will hassle you. Not him, YOU.
Text – “Have you told him about that fan I need done yet?”
Facebook – “So have we got a date for the fan install yet?”
Email – “Summer’s almost here any chance we can get that fan put in this weekend?”
Facebook status with your name tagged – “Seriously it’s February now, where is my fan?”
Despite all this life, with a sparky is far from dull (cha ching) and it definitely makes it easy to keep the spark alive in our relationship (ba da boom) and even though I have no air conditioner and my dish washer doesn’t work he still lights up my life (I am on fire!).
So girls if you can handle a half-renovated house, early mornings and an obligatory PA role, then go for it. A tradie is the man for you.
Oh and don’t forget the puns, so many puns.
Lisa is a twenty-something freelance writer who survives on chocolate and coffee. She lives with her tradie partner and their two adorable sons on the NSW South Coast. When she’s not off fulfilling soccer-mum duties you’ll find her perusing blogs with a coffee close by. She’s new to Twitter and would be stoked to have more people laugh at her jokes here: @lis_almond
What are the unique quirks of your partner’s profession? Do you think you could date a tradie, or do you like your sleep ins too much?