real life

'Hey, Madonna. Take it from me, it's never too late to get along with your ex.'

 

You know you don’t have to always be fighting with your ex, right? It can get tiring and it sucks up precious time and energy you could be using for something else, like getting on with the rest of your life.

Take Madonna and Guy Ritchie for example. They have recently decided to hold peace talks after a nasty custody battle over their fifteen-year-old son Rocco. Their decision to take the high road gives us all hope that improving our relationships with our ex’s is possible.

Even after you’ve spent years in the mud.

The trouble started for Madonna when her son decided he no longer wanted to tag along on her Rebel Heart tour and then chose not to spend the holidays with her. He wanted to return to London where his dad lives and hired an attorney in order to fight for his right to a normal life.

It seems that Rocco was struggling with life with his mum, even when they weren’t on tour, resenting the way he is treated in New York by paparazzi and the public as opposed to life with his dad which is more laid back and “normal”.

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Madonna continued to tour after losing custody of her son. Image: Getty
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Madonna and Ritchie also lawyered up and battled it out in court in both New York and the UK, with a judge recently ruling that Rocco be allowed to stay with his dad in London, despite Madonna offering to cancel the remainder of her concert dates in order to make her son happy.

She’s continued with her Rebel Heart tour, including recent dates in Australia, and has taken time out at each appearance to dedicate a song to her son and has posted several heartbreaking photos of him on social media.

Now comes the news that Madonna and Ritchie have cancelled an upcoming court appearance – in which Madonna was requesting a weekend a month with her son in New York – and opting to hold “peace talks” in order to sort it out themselves.

The talks are set to take place some time this month ahead of the scheduled June 1 court appearance which will be rescheduled if they can’t sort out an arrangement by then.

I truly hope they do sort it out. It will be wonderful to see a resolution to this incredible mess and it’s so great to see that they are attempting a peaceful solution in a world where celebrity court battles – often fueled by too much money and too much fame – become spectacles in which grownups behave like spoiled children.

When you knew it was time for a divorce. Article continues after this video.

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It’s actually made me rethink a situation in my own life where a loved one who is getting divorced is still in close contact with her ex. It makes sense on paper. They have two young children they are trying to raise. However it’s really uncomfortable to see them together as though they haven’t even broken up, as though they may get back together, when we know that’s not the case at all.

Aren’t we meant to hate him? Hasn’t he broken up with us as well?

Well no, he hasn’t. He is still connected to us through his children and my loved one certainly has no problem with getting along well with him, so who are we to judge?

Have we been conditioned to believe that breakups mean hatred and fighting and complete separation? It seems ridiculous when you consider the fact that these relationships started with love, or at least with strong like. If they got along once they should be able to get along again.

When I met my husband he was in the process of a breakup. We were just friends then and I found it really uncomfortable how involved they still were in each other’s lives. I just didn’t get it. Now, looking back, I’m glad I never said anything because it worked. It was the ideal.

It’s about letting go of the reasons you’ve broken up and just moving on together in peace, for the sake of your own mental health and for the sake of your children.