After today’s recommendation to formalise grandparent care, I have a few suggestions of my own.
We know, we know, grandparents do an enormous amount of free childcare in this country. And now, with the new recommendations that they get subsidised for their trouble, it looks like they’re finally going to get their dues.
After my initial shock at having to pay my own mother, and mother-in-law, for what has so far been a free service, I have decided that I have a few requirements of my own for this now-official service:
1. She can’t arrive late.
I understand that grandma wants to stop off at the shops quickly to buy my children’s favourite treats to feed them all day, but I have to go to work. If I’m paying you to look after my children you must arrive ON TIME. So I am not late for work, which is how I pay you. Seriously, how hard is it to arrive on time? The kids can do without Tiny Teddy biscuits for one day.
2. She will not treat eye infections with milk, nor yank out teeth.
Some grandparents have very strange ideas about treating children's ailments, most of which have come from the olden days. For example, my dad insists that milk will treat eye infections and once chased me around the house trying to put it in my eye. I also warned my kids not to let him look at any wobbly teeth because he will usually just rip them out. Trust issues. And apparently Lemonade is a stomach flu cure.
3. They will make sure their home is safe for my children.