There are some medical conditions that are unusual. And embarrassing. And stigmatised. Sarah* has one of them. Up until I received this email from Sarah detailing her battle with trichotillamania, I had only the vaguest idea that it existed. Sarah needs some collective wisdom. Some non-medical advice. Perhaps you can give it?
Sarah writes…
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“Tricho-what? It’s a strange word and a bizarre condition with no known cure. Trichotillamania is the medical problem where a person is unable to stop pulling out their hair. It occurs in a certain area whether that be on the head, eyelashes or eyebrows.
I’ve battled with the problem since I was 10 year old. I am now 21. I recall in around grade two, a friend saying that when her mum was a little girl, she used to pull her eyelashes out. That is where I think the idea started. And when I was 10 I must have been feeling quite tense about something and started pulling my eyelashes out.
If I feel stressed, insecure, bored or sometimes just deep in thought I always have to touch my eyelashes. When I pull one of them out I feel a certain calming sensation, like a temporary release. It is also just nice to touch them.
Reading over this myself and from an outsiders point of view, I’m sure it seems extremely pointless and hard to understand. When I read or watch clips about other people pulling the hair on their heads out I think the same thing. But like any habit it is hard to stop.
My eyes look terrible for it. I used to have beautiful long eye lashes. Now I have these strange sparse looking lashes that you could probably count. I try to wear lots of mascara and eye liner to cover it up but you can still they’re not all there from their messy and uneven appearance.
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I do have my good and bad phases with it. I find before a holiday I will stop quite easily for a short period of time. But on the other hand, if I am in a stressful situation, such as losing a key, I will have the need to pull in the stressful moment. And I will put out quick, big chunks of them that cause lots of horrible gaps.
I’ve tried going cold turkey to just stop pulling. That is what people close to me who know about it encourage me to do. But in reality that is the most difficult thing. The pulling causes a chemical reaction in my brain that relaxes me and sometimes I hardly notice I am pulling. It’s a trance like motion at times.
I’ve tried hypnotherapy twice but that has not had any affects at all. It just doesn’t get through to me or perhaps it is just that I have not connected with the therapist.
I’ve done yoga too. Didn’t have any affect.
I feel extremely embarrassed by the gaps and ashamed of my eyes that everyone looks into. But I can’t seem to control it. A very frustrating situation. It makes me feel insecure and unattractive. I always feel like people are looking at my strange eyes but never mention anything.
I want to have long, beautiful and attractive lashes. Mama Mia readers does any one else have this condition? Or know a way to cope with this condition? Any other nervous habits people have that they’ve managed to stop?”
Top Comments
I've had trich since I was 15. It started after I found one of those crinkley hairs and I started pulling out a whole lot of individual hairs, one at a time. I'd feel along the strand of a hair over and over, obsessing over the texture and then I'd pull it out. It's just like you said, it's like a release, and the whole exercise is quite hypnotic. Quite often I'll realise I've been doing it unconsciously, which is what makes it hard to stop - you don't even know you are doing it!
If you can't find a way to stop, the way I've managed is to pull 'safe' hairs - hair that no one will notice and won't too badly affect my appearance. I pull occasional hairs from the back of my neck, hairs on my arms, sometimes even pubic hair (when I'm in private!). It's better to stop all together but I haven't discovered how, so I focus on redirecting to other areas. One of the things that helped more than anything was being open about trich. It used to be a thing I did in secret that I was terribly afraid of and that actually made my urge to pull worse. Now, if people ask why I sometimes have new growth on my head, I explain that it's because I have a disorder where I pull it out. Since I no longer feel ashamed, it's made me not need to do it as much.
I hope you find a way to manage it soon! As you can see from all the supportive comments, you are not alone!
Hi there, I couldn't believe your article - I did exactly the same thing to mine when I was about 10 I think, I used to pull at them when in the bath and remember lookign at the lashes thinking how lovely they looked, not realising just what I was really doing. Even now I find myself pulling out at least one per day, and I can relate to your "trance-like state" when doing so. I have found that I tend to do it when I'm overtired though, or stressed so here's my suggestion - avoid leaning in to the mirror at any time. Just do your make up or wash your face at a distance that doesn't show up every single lash and you may be less tempted to pull them. Mine fluctuate between looking fairly good to being weak and coming out with the lightest pull so best just to keep those fingers to your self!! And stop for a second and think...how do I want to look??? With eyelashes or without? You can change your habit 0 you just need to want it.