I’ve been husband-shamed by a Twitter troll and I’m having a whole lot of feelings about it.
For the record, I do have a husband.
But the Twitter troll who thought I didn’t due to my use of a photo of just me and my children assumed I didn’t, and she thought it was the perfect insult to point out that I clearly don’t have a husband because I am anti-men.
And if I have had a husband in the past, she obviously thought he had’t stuck around.
Here is the photo she altered to illustrate her point.
I laughed when I first saw it, then I felt a little annoyed.
Argue with me about my opinion, disagree with me about what I say, but there's no need to get personal. My writing is my work and at the end of the day, I'm just doing my job.
Then I wanted to defend myself.
I DO have a husband. He took this photo. So not only did this "man-hater" get a husband, she kept him as well!
But then, I became annoyed with myself.
Why am I defending this? Who cares if I have a husband or not.
Because whether or not a woman has or doesn't have a husband doesn't mean anything and more importantly, whether or not a woman has or doesn't have a husband doesn't increase or decrease her worth.
And that's when I became really upset.
MM Confessions: When you knew it was time for a divorce. Article continues after this video.
We live in a society that programs women to constantly feel less-than. And it doesn't matter the reason, we are less-than for so many reasons.
Because of our looks.
Because of our jobs.
Because of our relationships status.
Because of the clothes we wear.
Because of every superficial thing that has absolutely nothing to do with our worth.
The article I wrote that prompted this Twitter troll attack was called Don't blame parents who won't let men babysit their children. We'd do anything to protect them.
You can read it by clicking here.
It was an emotionally charged article and one I knew would attract robust discussion.
But what I wasn't expecting, and haven't been on the receiving end for a while, was the personal attack.
And it wasn't the personal attack itself that upset me. I've been doing this job for years and am long past being offended by the opinions of strangers.
It was the thinking behind it. That women are worth less if they don't have a husband or if they get divorced. On behalf of all women I felt completely offended. Whether or not we have a husband, fiance, boyfriend or partner has nothing to do with our value, our abilities and our worth.
Women who are married haven't achieved more than a woman who isn't married.
Women who are single aren't of less value than those who aren't single.
It's so ridiculous and part of me doesn't even want to validate her claim by discussing it like this, but I'm worried this is what other people think too.
Aren't women punished enough over everything without being made to feel less-than over something like this?
I know the sisterhood is patchy and I know I shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about the random slur of someone who doesn't even know me, but the fact she is presented herself as a feminist disturbed me greatly.
Any other insult would have been better than the one she decided to use.
She could have drawn an arrow to my children's faces. Two out of three of them looked miserable in the photo. Couldn't she have made fun of that?
She could have written: Clearly Jo's children are miserable having her as a mother, due to the fact she is a man-hating psychopath.
Or she could have had a dig at my lack of Twitter followers and written: At least hardly anyone else is interesting in the opinions of this man-hating two-bit hack.
Anything would have been better than implying that any women without a partner has done something to cause the condition, the disease of singledom.
Listen to this episode of The Recap discussing the controversial relationship TV show Married at First Sight.
What would you say as a come back to an insult like this? I'm still trying to think of the perfect one. Answer in the comments section below.