A few weeks ago there was a heart-breaking story in the weekend papers about the ethics of providing medical support to extremely premature babies. It was a harrowing and yet fascinating and important read about what goes on for those poor families who are desperately unlucky enough to have babies born in the ‘grey zone’. This is the term used to describe the three-week span in an unborn baby’s life between 23 and 25 weeks gestation when survival is technically possible but the outcomes are horribly uncertain.
According to the article by Richard Guilliatt, “50% of the babies born at this gestation will die, and those who live can often be afflicted by cerebral palsy, intellectual disability or blindness. Some doctors refuse to resuscitate such fragile infants.”
It goes on to talk about the King Edward Memorial Hospital for Women in Perth, who have Australia’s most aggressive policy of supporting ’23-weekers’ if their parents request it and describes in detail the case of Annie McFadden who was born a few hours after her mother’s pregnancy entered its 23rd week. She weighed 570 grams. The list of complications she suffered and the medical procedures she endured are horrifying enough to read about let alone live through. But she did. Two and a half years later, Guilliatt writes, Annie’s future is still unclear. Her speech is stuck at the level of a nine-mont-old and she is blind. But she tears around and laughs and plays with her younger sibling (who was born at full gestation).
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My son was born at 26 weeks gestation. At his lowest weight he was 978 grams. We spent from 12th November until 26 January in NICU. He had numerous complications and although I was very strong throughout, I did lose 'it' completely the day I saw him having a lumbar puncture. He was the most incredible little fighter and although every day was a roller coaster he managed to get through it and wake up the next morning ready to take on whatever the nurses and doctors handed out to him.
When we were finally transferred to a hospital close to home they had to put a security guard at the door of the NICU because people kept sneaking in to see him.
With so many awful medical problems that could have befallen him, he has grown up a fit and healthy young man.
I would also love to tell you about my other son, born at almost 22 weeks within a Private Hospital. I was by myself for varying reasons (husband fishing off FNQ) and delivered the baby with no other person in the room. Nurses were very busy that night. I delivered my son by myself and when the doctor arrived he asked me, "was he alive when he was born?" I'm not sure about that one as I was drugged to the hilt and it is all a bit hazy. Not a nice story but I got to hold that perfectly formed child for hours before I was strong enough to hand him over. We had to have a funeral for him as is law. Not a time I will forget.
Then there was the son I delivered at 18 weeks gestation...taken away after birth. It hasn't been an easy road for me. I am thankful every day for my beautiful 14 year old son who fought and won his battle. He was the middle child and is often told about his brothers.
you are amazing
Sarah I cannot even begin in my wildest nightmares to imagine the pain and trauma and devastation you have suffered and are still suffering. You are right. Nobody has a clue how you were feeling. Only you are walking that horrendous path of grief.
And you're doing it alone which must be the hardest thing in the world.
On behalf of the Mamamia community, may I wish you all the strength and sympathy there is.
And please know that your story and the story of Jayden has touched so many women around the world. Please hang in there.