They set the tone for the assumption that step mothers are bad news.
Are all step mum's evil? Via Facebook.Well, no.And one mum’s public acknowledgment of the contribution her daughter’s step-mother makes is doing wonders to change that perception.
Audrey Loving, a young mum from Virginia in the US, paid tribute to her former partner’s new girlfriend in a Facebook post that has since gone viral, being shared nearly 150,000 times.
Audrey Loving and her daughter Riley. Via Facebook. She says her “daughter’s father’s girlfriend” is “the sweetest thing ever”. She says she is eternally grateful of the way she “basically takes care of her daughter like she is “her own.”It’s an unusual relationship between two women who probably shouldn’t get on, if stereotypes are anything to go off.
Audrey Loving, split from her former partner, Corey Henry, several years ago and the two now live in separate states.
Their daughter, Riley, 4, lives with her mum, but her dad remains involved in her life and often takes her on weekends.
Loving told Today that when her former partner found new love she was determined not to be bitter.
“I come from a blended family — I have stepsisters, half-sisters,” she said. “Growing up, I heard the negative talk about the ‘other woman,’ and I didn’t want my kid to hear the same thing … It’s not fair. Kids are smart.”
Whitney McGraw, Corey Henry and Riley. Via Facebook. She said she also felt for the newcomer, Whitney McGraw, taking on the responsibility of a child who wasn’t her own.“It’s awkward for her too — dating someone with a kid,” she said. “I’m not interested in the baby mama drama … I welcomed her into my family with open arms.”
And her viral Facebook post shows it.
She wrote:
“I'm super thankful for her because when she visits her dad she feeds her, takes care of her, buys her gifts, and basically takes care of her like her own.”
She continued: “why do all these moms act so spiteful and jealous towards the other women? NOONE said it was easy trying to be a mother to a kid you didn't have. So when there is someone trying, don't push them away! Because they DON'T need the drama they WILL leave and then you're stuck with someone who is the evil step mom.”
Loving said that the evil step mother does exist.
“Yes they exist! I see them everywhere!”
But she says it is possible to co-exist in harmony.
“A kid can have two moms because in my eyes the more people that love her I'm happy! I would never make her feel like an outsider; I'm extremely thankful for this girl.”
She ends by pleading for other women to take a similar stance, for the sake of their kids.
“Ladies, grow up and focus on being a good mom. Love more hate less!"
Aubrey Loving pleads with other women not to be bitter towards their child's stepmother. Via Facebook. Loving says she wasn’t always so easy going and when Riley first began spending time alone with the couple, she would pester them with messages.“I would write a whole list for Whitney. Things like, ‘Don’t leave her in the bathroom,’” she said.
“Whitney would send me pictures and keep me updated," she recalled. "One night I sent her a text saying, ‘You know, I’m extremely thankful for you.’”
Aubrey and Riley. Via Facebook. She acknowledges that it’s not always easy, but still she says it’s up to grown-ups to lead the way.“Of course it’s hard,” Loving said.
“You have a kid and your mama bear comes out. But the fact that someone’s there loving my daughter … I’m at peace knowing she’s being taken care of. The more people that love your kid, the better.”
Top Comments
This does sound lovely, but not all step-mums are like this. My ex and i were co-parenting well until she entered the picture. She didn't want our son around, and his pathetic dad just did as she wished. Not long after they moved two states away and our son didn't see them for six years! He saw them last year for a few weeks, i thought the same would happen this year, but nope, step-mother wants to go on holidays without my son.
I know it's not all her fault, my ex is also to blame, but there is no denying she is the cause as my ex was a good dad until he met her. Grrr...
Brilliant. And admirable that she admits she was not so easy to start with. Though by the sounds, she was coming from a good spot.
Being a step-mum and a bio-mum myself, I think the best advice is focus on the kids. If you do that you won't go far wrong. Unfortunately a lot of women, and men, stay focussed on their ex partner, on control, what they might have that they themselves don't, etc, etc, etc......
Second bit of advice - give it up! You're separated, control goes out the window and your lifestyle WILL change. It's ok, kids cope with change if it's done right. They can actually learn some really valuable lessons from the whole mess.
It honestly doesn't have to be as hard as it so often is. I have my views on how to try to change things here in Australia, from the ground up. One day, when I have time, I'll get involved in trying to do that. Too many kids have their mental health stuffed up because of the way adults deal with divorce and separation. It's simply not fair.