I’ve always thought of the supermarket as quite an unglamourous place. Probably because it is, really. It’s somewhere you really don’t need to make an effort. Like the gym. No one really cares what you look like, right? Well, that’s the perception that I grew up with. My mum used to complain incessantly about having to ‘do the food shop’. And, it probably reflects in the way I deal with it too, as an evening last week I rocked up in my track pants and a knackered old t-shirt, after the gym, ready to shop.
And, that’s why it was what happened at the checkout that was a surprise. My flat mate and I were loading up the conveyor when the checkout boy said, “can I just ask you a question?”
“Yup?”
“Would you like a threesome?”
Now, working for Mamamia, and attending editorial meetings about, let’s say, anal bleaching or man cleavage, I thought I was pretty well equipped for anything the world could throw at me. Well no, this was a new one. And, inside, my brain is crying out “SAY SOMETHING WITTY!” or “What would they do on Desperate Housewives?”
“Does that mean we can get a discount?”
NO! Now he thinks we’re interested, God. This isn’t going well.
My flat mate gallantly came to the rescue and negotiated vouchers for schools in exchange for a Facebook add (once a salesperson, always a salesperson!) and in the meantime, I couldn’t help but think. Since when has this become normal? I look at the dude stood behind me in the queue (a rather hot looking Bondi-type who was looking a little bit confused, angry and scared) and give him the raised-eyebrow “you sure you want to be in this line?” look. He definitely didn’t think it was normal.
I finish putting my shopping through and have an awkward exchange with the checkout dude. He writes his name on the receipt and says “add me!”
Still rather miffed and now going over all the cool things that I could have said, I did a quick poll of my friends while Tom counted up the schools vouchers (we weigh in at a mighty $90 – we did it for your climbing frame, kids!). Most of them just found it funny, which let’s face it. It is.
The checkout boy was never added, however. We came to the conclusion he must watch too much porn to think that that’s an appropriate come on. We also came to the conclusion that in this particular supermarket, that it’s not just the prices that go “down down!”
What’s the most inappropriate question you’ve been asked in public? And how did you react?
Top Comments
When I was 17 I was asked if my younger brothers were my children. Ok, fair enough with the very young looking 9yo (looked more like 5) i have often been asked if im his mum. But I was a little shocked to be asked if my 11yo brother was my child.... We start them young in tassie...
Since then I've become wheelchair dependent. I often get asked if I'll be 'alright'. My usual reply is yes, but I won't walk again. I also have several friends missing limbs for various reasons. We get a good laugh out of making up bizarre cause for this such as shark attack, shootings (the real reasons for some are just a strange though).
I'm curious to know whether Matt was actually buying bananas. Because back in the day, a bunch of bananas sitting on the top of your trolly meant that you were "available". Maybe the checkout kid is just really old fashioned?