Flirting? Kissing? Texting? Technology and social media has definitely changed our relationships. But how do you give advice to your single friends when you have been married for over a decade? Has the cheating curve moved? What do you think constitutes cheating in 2011?
Amanda* writes:
.I need unbiased advice about a friend’s relationship. I’m not sure what to do so please help in any way you can. My friend Kitty* has been having second thoughts about her boyfriend for the past few weeks. She’s been acting extremely needy, possessive and incredibly insecure. I confronted her about it yesterday and told her to calm down, trust your gut instinct and take a breath.What she didn’t tell me until our conversation yesterday was that she had just found out that in the beginning of her relationship (before they had had sex, which was a few months) her BF was still sexually active with other women, he didn’t find it a big deal because it wasn’t serious for him until they “sealed the deal” so to speak.
My initial reaction was that he was cheating and unfaithful, but after sitting back and thinking about it, I wasn’t so sure. I married my teenage sweetheart, we’ve been together for 12 years so maybe this is clouding my judgment? I realise not everything is black and white, but what is tolerable and is my initial reaction warranted?
Top Comments
I would never assume that a relationship is monogamous until a conversation has occured declaring it so. Dating is horrid these days. Dating multiple people is normal. Not nice, but normal.
Something that always frustrates me about a lot of women is that they have discussions about problems in their relationships with their friends instead of their partners!
Surely the best way for Kitty* to work out how she is feeling is to discuss it with her boyfriend?
Everyone else can give her their opinions until they run out of breath but it won't help her to know and understand his thought processes and what was behind actions back then.
Amen. You just summed up what I have been preaching to people for so long. You can never rely on your friends to tell you what is wrong with your relationship without discussing issues with your own boyfriend whom your friends probably don't fully understand. Besides, no one wants their business being discussed by others.
I salute your post. I wish all women could read and understand your post.