Birthing a human is a pretty big deal, and every birth experience is unique.
When we talk or write about how our babies came into the world, we often focus on how it happened. But what about the random mix of thoughts we really had while in the birthing suite?
We asked our Mamamia community of mums to tell us about some of the funniest, most banal, emotive and downright odd thoughts they had, as they laboured.
Here are 29 of the very best.
1. "I need cheese... now."
"I was starving during my c-section, and asked my husband to fetch me a cheese toastie and a milkshake. He ignored me (sensibly) as I was high and also about to meet my firstborn.
"After I came around properly, I demanded that toastie again. He went to the hospital café and dutifully got my order. I remember thinking it tasted amazing, before promptly throwing it all up." - Laura.
2. "How does a placenta fit in a smoothie?"
"When I was pushing the placenta out, I remember thinking to myself, 'How on earth do women put these things into their smoothies?' And then my brain went on a long tangent:
'They're pretty big.'
'Would I have freezer space?'
'What do you use to portion it up... scissors?'
'What flavours does it go well with?'" - Rikki.
3. "It feels so... good."
"I thanked the midwife profusely for giving me a sweep just before the head popped out and told her that, 'It felt soooo good!' [My husband] Steve looked mortified and the midwife turned to him and said, 'Don’t worry, she’s high on the gas!'
"I don’t know whether it was the gas, or relief that someone was helping me down there." - Becky.
Watch: The things we weren't told about giving birth. Post continues after the video.
4. "I'm splitting in two."
"On the second last push to get my baby out, my waters broke. There was a big pop and a huge gush and I thought I had split from my vagina to my butt hole!
"I was like, 'Oh my God, what just happened, I'm splitting in two!' Calmly, the midwife said, 'That's just your water breaking.' My baby was out with the next push, vagina intact." - Natalie.