relationships

'As a mum, the anti same-sex marriage ad doesn't just offend me. It makes me sad.'

The first of the anti-marriage-equality ads is aimed at heterosexual mums of school-aged kids, like me. And, as a heterosexual mum of school-aged kids, I am deeply offended by it.

The ad shows three concerned-looking middle-class mothers talking to the camera, as ominous piano music plays in the background.

“School told my son he could wear a dress next year if he felt like it,” one mum says, aghast.

“Kids in Year Seven are being asked to role-play being in a same-sex relationship,” another adds in horror.

What the ad is trying to do is put fear into the minds of mothers. It’s trying to change the plebiscite question from, “Do you think everyone should be allowed to marry who they want?” to, “Do you want the gays to turn your child gay?”

Please. Gay people don’t even turn their own kids gay, let alone everyone else’s.

“In countries with gay marriage, parents have lost their rights to choose,” the ad declares.

Choose what, exactly? Choose for their child to only be exposed to heterosexual relationships, in a desperate attempt to keep that child heterosexual?

Mamamia fact checked the ad, you can read it here.

This ad offends me, but it also makes me feel sad. I feel sad that there are mothers out there who are scared at the thought of their son being allowed to wear a dress, or their high-school-age child being exposed to the idea of same-sex relationships.

The only reason mothers would feel this fear is if, deep down, they are genuinely terrified of their child being gay.

It’s sad, because some of those mothers will have children who are gay.

One of the realisations that hits you when you become a parent is that your child is their own person. You might have created them, but they are who they are. You can’t mould them into someone they’re not, and it would be wrong to try to.

You don’t have the right to choose your child’s sexuality. You can’t, anyway, any more than you can choose their eye colour.

The greatest thing a parent can do for a child is to love them for who they are, unconditionally.

LISTEN: Mamamia Out Loud has a message for Malcolm Turnbull (post continues after audio…)

I see the women in this ad, and they don’t represent me, or the mothers that I know. For me, it’s really important for my child to grow up in a community that is accepting of different sexualities, and to go to a school where all students feel safe and happy and accepted.

As a mum, I have my fears and worries, but my kids being gay isn’t one of them.

Mamamia is proud to support marriage equality and as such, will not republish the ‘No’ campaign’s ad, however, a copy can be viewed in full here

Want more reasons to vote yes? Check out this.

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Top Comments

Mel 7 years ago

I'm also a heterosexual mum (1 child finishing primary school, 1 just finishing high school) and when I first saw this ad, I just shrugged and thought "Yep, I'm cool with that."

I'm fine with my son (or anyone else's) wearing a dress to school if he wants to. Whatever you're comfortable with.

I'm fine with kids in year 7 role-playing same-sex relationships. It's easier to understand something when you actually experience it.

I thought the Safe Schools initiative was a good one before the ACL and their ilk got hold of it and picked out the bits they thought would be most inflammatory when they misrepresented them through mainstream media. I still thinks it's a good idea, but the damage has been done.

Above all else though, I thought 'What on earth does any of this have to do with marriage?' Still confused on that one.


Lisa Trudi Brett 7 years ago

This is the best thing I have read, EVER. The truth that you have spoken here is wonderful. I also think that these mothers are afraid that their children are gay, and in reality is that the most heinous thing they could be??? I think having a child that is a bully, that is unaccepting of other people's beliefs, sexuality, colour is far more heinous than the fact they could fall in love and be with someone who is of the same sex. Thank you Helen Vnuk for writing such a beautiful article.

Les Grossman 7 years ago

You feel offended by the ad and the counter opinion. That's ok, how would you feel if the ACL turned up and started a petition to hound you out of your job for what you wrote? Bullying happens both ways.

Lisa Trudi Brett 7 years ago

I don't think you understand what I was saying. Bullying is a horrendous thing and should be stamped out in every form and every way that it happens. My comment was that I feel the women in this ad are terrified that their children might "turn" gay, and my comment was that I would feel that a child, or anyone, that was a bully would be ten times worse than a child, or adult, that was gay and wanted to get married.