Are you trapped in the new mum haze? Do you wake up every morning and dash to the crib to launch into another all day staring marathon with the beautiful creature you created?
Chances are, you could be a bit blinded by a mother’s love.
You see, to others, that bald, misshapen head may not be a sign of individuality. Your darling’s eyes might not seem as adorable as they do to you. And those scrawny little twig limbs? Your mother secretly wishes she was cuddling a chubby bub.
Eventually as the haze lifts you’ll start to wonder – is my baby really as cute as I think he is?
On This Glorious Mess, we discuss how to get the truth out of your friends.
There comes a time when you just need everyone who peeks into the pram to stop gushing and tell you the truth – your baby has a face that only a mother could love.
As true as night is dark and your baby will wake you half an hour before your alarm goes off, some babies are just more good looking than others.*
If your friends and family aren’t quite so forthcoming about where your kid falls on the cuteness spectrum, The Cut writer Jen Gann came up with a test.
“My son just turned 15 months, and I’m not really sure. I think he might be objectively cute,” she says.
So she found a way to trick her friends into telling her the harsh truth.
“All you need to do is find one random, not-cute baby photo from the internet,” she says.
Send it to all your friends, tell them it’s yours, and wait for the replies to roll in.
Because no one is going to tell you upfront that your baby is a beast, you’ll probably get a flood of “OHMYGOSH HE IS SO FREAKIN’ CUTE”‘s. These are the friends who will lie to your face, for better or worse.
Now you know their lying style, you’ll be able to pick if your friend is telling the truth when you send your real baby picture.
According to new mum Jen, the other response you’ll get is, “Wow, look at his expression! What a smart-looking baby. He looks like he’s really thinking and taking the world in.”
“Congratulations: This means you can trust your friend, who cannot bring herself to lie about an ugly baby. She is searching and working, hard, to compliment him in departments other than looks,” Jen writes.
Sounds simple enough. But can you handle the truth?
*Disclaimer: I’ve never met a baby that wasn’t scrumptiously gorgeous.
Would you test your friends like this?
Listen to the full episode of This Glorious Mess here:
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Top Comments
Easier solution: talk to your friends who aren't into babies. Personally, I don't find any baby cute (honestly, they just leave me cold), so I can't bring myself to gush and coo - it would be disingenuous if I tried.
Hell no! All babies are beautiful, even when they are not really attractive, they are still beautiful. Helpless little beings that need The Love...wouldn't dream of saying otherwise to my friends or anyone else.
To tell someone their kid is ugly is just mean, but not everyone finds babies enchanting.
It's the same way that not all people are attractive or fit the common definition of beautiful but those who love them will see them as the most beautiful person in the world. It's not that love is blinding them but there are more important things than beauty. There is nothing wrong with thinking that your child is the most perfect child in the world. How you perceive a baby, grown up or even a pet is your own opinion which you are entitled to but it's pretty insulting to bluntly tell someone that their child is not cute or their wife is not that pretty or their dog looks weird.
Agree. You'd have to be a horrible sort if you did that. As a non-baby person, I rarely say a kid is beautiful, simply because I don't find them so as a rule - but I also don't say "yuck" (even though that's often what I'm thinking!). You just find another nice, genuine thing to say instead.
I actually find the whole concept of this article weird. That a parent would "test" people to ascertain if they truthfully found their baby ugly beggars belief, really.