Tis the season......to get into a fight with your family over Xmas lunch.

Excellent point Eve, I will do just that!

My Christmas advice to all women, (and in fact, anyone!), is this: Every Christmas change something you've 'always done' until you bloody get it right! And I'm not talking turkey, or gift wrapping hints, here. I'm talking about 'The Family Stuff'that prevents you from enjoying Christmas. If you don't have it, incidentally, don't change a thing!
When I was a kid, we had pressies in the morning, then a 2 hour drive to Melbourne to catch up with two sets of parents, (as most of my parents' families were there). For years, we didn't have a full Christmas day at home, and it made Christmas a big pain for years! Eventually, as family members passed away, Mum reclaimed Christmas day for our family, and we stayed home, which was great.
Then, when I got married, we had to learn to negotiate the tricky terrain of 'pleasing both mothers', which usually meant lunch at my mum's, then tea and boxing day at my mother-in-law's, (which also clashed with my Mum's Melbourne family 'do', which we were also expected to attend.) Having babies made this one billion times harder and more stressful, because you were then not only expected to buy and wrap gifts, cook for each occasion, pack full to overflowing nappy bags with even more clean clothes, the favourite toys/blankies, and the new Christmas toy (which would inevitably then be left at someone else's house)... you were expected to do all this wrapping/cooking/kid wrangling while looking serene and beautiful, whilst your baby was handed around like 'pass the parcel', your toddler gooed and gahed appropriately while unwrapping presents, (instead of eating the paper), and your other kids 'played nicely with their cousins'. I'm talking your Myer Christmas catalogue family. Oh, and you were supposed to 'enjoy yourself' while doing it, then wash a trillion roast dinner dishes at all of the above residences.
I learnt early on what Christmas was really about... it was about spending a lot of money you didn't have to buy a lot of stuff no-one really needed, and keeping the matriarchs of each family happy! And cooking and cleaning. That was what it was about.
I was devastated. Not only was I expected to believe that Santa maybe wasn't real, (still dealing with this one), I had to deal with the fact that I had to somehow make all that happen, and be a cross between Santa and all his elves, Donna Hay, and a Stepford Wife! I just wasn't all that festive about it. And to be honest, it made me more than a little Grinchy about Christmas, which was a shame, because I had little kids, and we should have been wearing white and having a garden party on the lawn for Christmas with all our nearest and dearest (a la Myer).
So over the years, I made the changes, and (mostly!) took back Christmas. First, we got let off the hook with my mother in law for Christmas tea, as we were all together the next day anyway. Then, we started having my family at our place (until the year I thought everyone's behaviour was so bad, we had a 'year off' and had Christmas lunch by ourselves), and we're doing that again this year. I also put it to the Melbourne relo's that we should have the family Chrissy party a couple of weeks before Christmas in Melbourne, so everyone could go, and that's been great. This year, we're fine tuning gift giving, with different Kris Kringle type options being explored.
I'm not saying there wasn't fallout. I'm not saying everyone took the changes well, not straight away, anyway. But Christmas is supposed to a nice time for everyone, so take a deep breath and suggest some changes. Keep going until it resembles something that you can honestly say you at least pretty much enjoyed the day. After all, if a black man can get into The White House, you CAN take Christmas back and enjoy it like you were a little kid!
Oh, and unless a tidal wave or something of similarly devastating proportions hits my rural Victorian town, there's a pretty good chance I'll post a comment before Christmas. But this seems like the right time to wish you, Mia, and everyone who comments and checks in here, a completely awesome Christmas. I don't remember exactly when I rocked up here, but it's been mostly fun, and always interesting. Have a few drinks! (Unless you're an alcoholic, in which case, please just stick to those pretend champage try-hard drinks with no alcohol in them). xx Cath