If you’ve got a pulse and a wifi connection, then you’ve seen photos of Kim Kardashian’s shiny naked body in the past 24 hours.
Your reaction may have gone a little something like this:
Shock >> Awe >> Guilt >> Disbelief at the proportions of this woman >> Curiosity about whether it’s real >> Relief when you think it’s Photoshopped and/or result of butt implants >> Jealousy because now you want butt implants >> Disgust because you just coveted someone else’s butt and considered surgery to get there >> Insecurity about your own butt >> Desire to talk about whether big butts are in now >> Exhaustion when you realise this just means you’ve got another ridiculous beauty expectation to comply with as a member of the female species.
And that’s completely normal. We all felt it.
Actually, the perfect summation of this whole Butt Worship situation comes from that brilliant comedian Tina Fey. Check it.
As usual, Tina Fey’s take is complete perfection and you can’t mess with it. If you know anyone who needs to debrief on this entire Butt Worship thing, make sure you show them that perfect, perfect paragraph from Tina. Made us feel much better.
Meanwhile, over at Buzzfeed…
The team address the all-important issue of whether these images are real. Can they be possibly be real? Do proportions like Kim’s actually exist in human form? Someone clever Photoshopped Kim a realistic sized waist:
Either way, she’s sensational naked. Good luck to you, American athletes.
Top Comments
I get a bit fed up with this whole "booty is now in" conversation when Tina Fey summed up, its been in since JLO, so that's about 15 years or more.
That's why that song that says "I'm bringing booty back" annoys me because well it was always in, the "all about that bass" song (which also includes that line also annoys me a little because she is saying men prefer women with big booties, which is weird anyway because the singer doesn't look to me like she has a big booty more like she is plumpish all over rather than her bottom being big. I must say I find the song quite catchy but it's not the feminist song people make it out to be because she is saying you have to have a particular type of body for a guy to want you - specifically big bum.
I suppose as someone else says here we could ignore all this and realise that some men will find this attractive and others won't, she has a point, but that's the kind of thing you only learn once you've been in relationships, some guy you are dating might tell you he finds your cellulite sexy, and you're like what really! But if you are a teenage girl with not much experience with guys you might assume that because you don't fit what is in the media that no guy will ever be seriously attracted to you. Even as an older woman if your body is not the media ideal you might wonder if your man is only hsbing sex with you because he is horny but maybe secretly he would prefer you look like the hills in the mags.
Ironically when giyd do tell us they find a particular look that doesn't fit the media stereotype sexy , eg a fat tummy , we think either they are a weirdo or we don't believe them and think they are just saying that to make us feel better.
There is one other reason this whole booty thing is annoying for me, I have a flat bum, very fashionable in the 80s had no problems buying pants, because my figure was in fashion that's what designers made clothes for, but for the last 15 years have found it difficult to buy pants (especially when hipsters were in) because big bums have been in so that's who they make clothes for, but the other assumption is that every woman has a big bum with a flat tummy, unfortunately I have a bit of tummy with a flat bum, impossible to buy clothes for!
My mother, my aunties, cousins and myself all have this body shape. It's part of our culture. Kim is Armenian, my family is Greek, a lot of my Italian or Turkish girlfriends all look the same too. After years of feeling shit about not fitting into straight cut clothes, super skinny bodies being coveted, going to school with 5'10 surfer girls, even lingerie models having the ironing board shape I say THANK YOU JEBUZ FOR KIM, IGGY AND NICKI because now our natural and very attainable body shape (it's called pasta ladies, make very good friends with it) is getting some air time. #inbootyweareunited