Dating with an ‘end date’. Neither of you think it’s going to work. It’s casual. You’re both busy. The arrangement between you might look, feel, sound like a relationship… But it’s not. Because it won’t last and you both know that. There are zero expectations.
Maybe there’s an actual end date. One of you is moving. There is no way the other is following.
Maybe it’s more of an unspoken end date. You don’t speak about the future, because you both know there won’t be one.
It’s been dubbed the “Time Bomb” and it’s a prevailing dating trend in the millennial generation.
(Of course it’s Millennials – no other generation, it seems, has been so terrified of commitment.)
It’s when people continue to date, across months or even years, but neither partner has any intention of the ‘relationship’ lasting.
There are number of benefits to “Time Bomb” dating.
YOU come first.
Your career, your busy-ness, is on hold for no one.
Because your relationship status is non-existent, you can fit your not-partner-but-person-you-are-seeing around your schedule without the risk of a tear-down argument, or days of cold shoulders.
This might sound particularly selfish. But remember, both of you have the end date. Both of you know it’s a “Time Bomb”. You’re really just keeping each other company between outings. Practically doing each other a favour… Right?
When did you know your partner was the one? Post continues below video.
Sure, you might consider ending this ‘arrangement’ straight up. It’s not going anywhere after all. But what are the alternatives? An online profile full of awkward photos from 2014? Swiping fingers? Weird conversations with strangers wanting sex?
“Time Bombs” are saving people from Tinder.
These types of relationships are more common for city dwellers. Where there isn’t so much of a pressure to ‘settle down’, and there is enough surrounding ‘bustle’ to distract yourself.
But I wonder, surely there are draw backs to “Time Bomb” dating?
As a millennial, in the ‘high-risk’ demographic of strange dating trends, I do have a few questions about this particular phenomenon.
With all due respect…
Might your preoccupation with this no-future-person, prevent you from opening up to someone who could be better suited?
Might you become a little too focused on yourself?
Won’t sleeping with someone, perhaps watching them eat every-now-and-again, not make you crave more depth? A stronger connection?
Is the “Time Bomb” status really just an excuse to not open-up, take a risk?
Won’t you get lonely?
What happens if the the “bomb” just never goes off? Does it make it easier, or harder, that you’ve never committed to a future with this person, but all of a sudden the future has arrived and they are still your not-quite-partner-just-someone-you’re-seeing-indefinitely?
Why can’t you make a decision?
And, most importantly, what is your Facebook relationship status?
Top Comments
Sounds like your parents have been the perfect role models!?
What's the point? If you realyl don;t want tohe distraction, be single. This arrnagemnt stil invovled dates and tie spent with soemone.
As a 30-something now, I'd have felt I was wasting my time on dead-end relationships where feelings weren't 'allowed' to be developed with these so called time bombs.
When you're younger you are used to dating and meeting hepas of potential partners, everyone flirts with you, buys you drinks, is a possible pash etc. You think you have all the time and choice in the world to meet someone to get serious with eventually, and then suddenly your're 29, 32, 35 etc and there are less options, you meet less single people, your friends are paired off and buying homes, and having children and then another child etc, and you find yourself busy, busy, busy in your career as you've progressed up the ladder.
I'd advise younger people to either be dating or in a meaningful relationship with real potential, or remain single and available to meet someone great. Don't be stuck halfway between.
I wasted a few years with a couple of people on that, so has my forever partner who I am now with. Semi-attached to people you don't love, or know you don't have a long term future with.
It's actually fine if you meet the right person earlier. Right as in you keep being you and you support one another, you complement each other, you're a team. Being coupled doesn't mean you can't have fun, must get a mortgage, stop socialising, have babies immediately. You can be paired off happily for years and travel and have a career and go out lots - it's having children high impact your lifestyle. If a relationship stops you from doing those things if you want to, then you are not in the right relationship.