Mummy blogger Sophie Cachia, author of The Young Mummy, has written about the difference having two children, as opposed to one child, can have in a relationship… (Hint: there is no time for anything)
“When it was one child, it was a lot easier to stay in tune,” the 26-year-old wrote for Kidspot. “More time, more energy, more us. Now that there’s two, well, our life is a little more chaotic.”
Sophie’s 25-year-old partner Jaryd Cachia looks after the kids while the mummy blogger is often on the road. She said “some days we’re lucky to do a quick high-five past each other in the hallway.”
The pair – who were married in October, 2015 – welcomed their daughter Florence into the world in January of this year. Their son, Bobby, is turning three this year.
“For the first time – and only fresh into our marriage – I’m seeing how kids can so easily divide parents. In our situation, it’s not malicious and it’s most certainly not intentional … it’s just … happening,” Sophia wrote.
“For the first time in nearly seven years I feel like I’m having to step it up. We’ve gone up a notch in how hard we need to work to make Jaryd and I exist as a couple – and not just as parents.”
The young mummy is snapchatting her labor. Too much information or important documentation of the realities of giving birth?
She said that her and Jaryd have found time to have “easy” sex on occasions, but it is the communication she misses more than anything.
She is longing for a grown-up conversation, that doesn’t occur over breastfeeding or with a background symphony of Thomas the Tank Engine.
“I cannot deny that since the arrival of Florence – our second child – this January, we ‘died’ just a little… Between Bobby, Florence and my current workload, I hardly find time for myself at the end of the day let alone my husband. And I’m not talking about sex. Because I think the sex is actually quite easy if you want it to be.”
The most important thing? The pair have talked about it and are trying to find themselves within this new, busier, more difficult reality.
“The only positive I can take out of this is that Jaryd is open to having these conversations and listening to how I’m feeling,” Sophie wrote.
“I’m not ready to be the parents who are too tired to ask each other how their day was. I don’t want to be the parents who are too busy to care.”
Top Comments
I don't particularly like this woman and her approach, but agree with her observations in this case and think it can happen even after one child. My husband and I have both discussed this, how we can see how couples fall apart when the kids are so young. You both really need to be willing to talk/work it out at the very least, have patience with each other and forgiving quickly helps too I think.
Her baby is only a few months old, if they keep the communication open and put in the effort, they'll find they are even stronger. Different, but stronger.
I have a six-year-old and I've found it hard enough! Considering having a second and hopeful that the age gap might help, as it's hard to imagine having even less adult time than we do now, even though I know it must me so much easier than two kids under three! The thought of having a second child is quite daunting actually.