By ROSIE WATERLAND
We all have them: Facebook ‘friends’ that annoy the crap out of us, but who – because of some bizarre sense of online etiquette – we can’t bring ourselves to ‘unfriend’.
(And since when did ‘unfriend’ become part of everyday vernacular anyway? Exhausting.)
You know the ones I mean. Over-sharers. Humble-braggers.
Couples who should Just. Keep It. To. Themselves.
These are the people who clog up your newsfeed and don’t seem to have any sense of self-awareness. These were the people I put up with – until I figured out there was a little button called ‘unsubscribe’.
If you haven’t acquainted yourself with the unsubscribe button yet, allow me to introduce you. The unsubcribe button allows you to hide all posts/status updates/annoying memes from the people you don’t want to see.
It basically allows you to pretend like that person doesn’t exist, without having to have the awkward private message exchange that inevitably comes after a straight-out unfriending.
And the best part? They never have to know. They can’t tell they’ve been hidden like an embarrassing family secret. In time, you’ll forget Uncle Colin’s even there, and he’ll go on thinking you’re laughing at that hilarious video he proudly posted of some random man getting hit in the special place with a cricket ball.
So, whether you’ve been happily involved with the unsubscribe button for quite some time, or are just now logging into Facey to utilise its awesomeness, I’ve got some helpful tips for the kinds of people you should be hiding.
Here’s the top 7 kinds of Facebook friends you should unsubscribe from:
1. The Vaguebooker:
This is the friend who writes frustratingly ambiguous and vague status updates on purpose, hoping that people will ask them to elaborate. Wildly annoying to everybody who understands they’re being manipulated.
2. The over-sharer:
Facebook is not a diary. Enough said.
3. The hipster-brag poster:
This friend constantly posts updates designed to show you that they do ALL THE COOL THINGS.
4. The couples who don’t know the meaning of ‘private message’:
Seriously you guys. TXT. Email. Hell – even call each other and have a conversation. Just don’t do this:
5. The people who post directly from Instagram and confuse everyone without Instagram.
#this #doesn’t #do #anything #on #facebook #just #write #a #sentence #please
6. The “I’m not racist, but…” posters:
I think they think it’s funny? It’s not.
7. The passive-aggresive poster:
You know the one – taking all their grievances out on their friends through not-really-subtle enough status updates. Could also be called the “Just sayin'” poster, as these updates usually end with ‘Just sayin’.
I reckon that’s the top seven. But there are many, many more that could be added to the list. Like maybe the writer who incessantly posts links to all her articles… Each to their own, I guess.
What kinds of people would you like to unsubscribe from?
Top Comments
Ultrasound photos - or the entire series from the 12 week scan as posted by a relative.. Is nothing sacred?! It's great you're having a baby, but we don't need to see the ultrasound as proof, we believe you..
The whole unsubscribe option encourages insincerity and passive-aggression. If a person does not care at all about what another person has to share or say and wants nothing to do with them then the best and most sincere course of action is to de-friend or better yet block or, best of all don't friend that person in the first place. This encouraging and promoting of the 'secret ignoring' of a person deemed to be 'annoying' is in really poor taste and is in fact quite rude and NOT friendly. So what the hell is the unsubscriber even doing on that person's friend-list if they are not even liking that person? It's fake and disingenuous. Odious behavior. This same kind of person is of the same ilk as the 2-faced gossip.They Pretend to like the person to their face, meanwhile whine incessantly to others that they cannot stand that person. Really juvenile and base, primitive behavior. Crass.