By BERN MORLEY
When did it become taboo to admit that you would like to find a partner and have a baby with them? Why did it become considered desperate and shameful to reveal that you might be looking for a long term relationship and start a family in the near future?
Cue ‘serial dater’ Emmanuel Limal and his dating website designed specifically for individuals wishing to not only meet someone interested in a long term relationship, but to also find a partner that wishes to start a family.
Limal, who re-mortgaged his apartment to start the online dating site called babyklar.nu (Baby Ready now in English) said his reasoning was simple. He wanted a safe online dating site where wanting children was not only not a deal breaker; it was a prerequisite.
It is genius really. Here are all these people scrambling to set up websites and apps for people seeking casual sex and this guy taps into the yin to their yang. Just as the sexually liberated people of the world are embracing the unabashed hook up element of the dating world, so too are the ones that aren’t scared to say and ask for exactly what they want.
Says Limal, “I couldn’t seem to meet anyone willing to prioritise starting a family and struggled with when to mention wanting kids any time I met someone new. It’s the ultimate dating taboo,” he said. “Then one day I read a profile from a 38-year-old who said she knew it was ‘really bad to admit’ but she wanted children. And I just thought: ‘You shouldn’t be ashamed of this.'”
53% of registered members on Limal’s site are men, going totally against all general stereotypes and with testimonials from both sexes declaring “It’s so lovely to be able to say this out loud …” and “I finally dare to be honest about what I want.”
Here’s the thing.
There are a lot of people that want to meet their soul mate, fall hopelessly in love, start a family and end up with the whole white picket fence fairytale. Yet, the seeming ease at which people are able to find casual sex through online sites means that they are finding quite the obstacle in their way
You would think that online matchmaking sites would be one way of eliminating these kinds of dilemmas. Not so. See, with online dating sites such as Grindr, Blendr, Tinder and Adult Matchmaker, casual sex just became a whole lot easier.
The major attraction of these ‘hook up’ sites is of course their ease in pinpointing exactly how far away a potential mate is. Literally. These apps are guided by a GPS. You’re after a no strings attached one night stand? No problem, so is Joey K and the good news is that he’s only 300 metres away.
I saw this first hand tonight having a drink with a single male friend. He was, as usual, tethered to his iPhone like it was some kind of life saving device. I asked him what had him so captivated. He showed me a picture of a lovely looking girl. He was deciding whether to accept or reject her.
His very future could depend on which way he went with this as I so helpfully pointed out. To which he scoffed, only to tell me that there were at least fifty more lined up, right behind her. So much for fate and serendipity.
Trying to find your “soul mate” in the virtual world is confusing. Often it’s not even what you say in your online profile but what you don’t say that prevents a potential mate from contacting you. Perhaps that means that a website where you can be upfront about wanting something serious, is going to be a Giant Leap Forward?
In this brave new world we find ourselves in of online dating, is instant gratification really going to be more important than finding the “one”? Or does this simply mean that we are now in the position to tailor our exact needs and wants without fear of judgement?
Have you ever used an online dating website? Are you single with kids? Do you find meeting new people can be difficult?
Top Comments
I'm game in trying this site . I always wanted to have children with all the trimmings that come with it , but what mostly prevented that was me meeting women with children already. A child of your own can be expensive and comes with challenges of its own , but add an existing child with a father and his entire family to boot in the equation with the added problem of the lack of financial contributions from the " some time wanna be a pappy " sperm donor can be trying on an alpha male as myself. I want as little outside influences on my family as possible , especially not from another man.
The other hinderance for me was meeting women that are not preparing themselves financially to have children. When you are young you should be working on establishing a sound financial foundation for building a future family. Sometimes achieving a good financial position in your life may take a little longer until you are much older but at least you have made the effort to provide the best you can for your family. Growing up poor I knew what kind of life style I wanted for my family and I knew it could be quicker achieved with two productive parents. I'm not saying it had to be the life style of the rich and famous , which is not bad , but if I wanted to place my child in dance classes and still be able to afford a family vacation then I should be able to do so . Unfortunately most people don't have a plan and rather just toss life up into the wind when having children , or they rely mostly on another person doing all the hard work and being the dream creator. I was looking for an " all hands on deck " woman to have children and a family with , but now at this point in my life I'm becoming more disillusion and thinking of throwing in the towel and joining the baby daddy status with a woman who at least don't have roaches in her kitchen. 😀. Yeah... love ,marriage , children , and a house with a picket fence , are becoming the ideals of fairy tale stories. Smh.
Over the years I have tried them all rsvp, eharmony, even the adult sites! My experience w Eharmony was terrible, total waste of money and time. RSVP is ok but ....
But ladies there is hope! And no I don't work for them or have any association whatsoever. Rubyradar is for professionals and members have to be approved by them.
It's only very small but I've had a few nice guys contact me. Seems to be for older people but that suits me just fine.
Online dating is not for the feint hearted that's for sure, you need to be brave, careful and confident.